


Sand in My Shoes

by Sabi



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, But not ruling it out, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Drinking, Honestly not sure if smut will ensue, Possibly dubious consent due to drinking, Possibly triggering for grabbing, Possibly triggering for touching, Possibly triggering for yelling, Rating May Change, Real Life Locations, Rey POV, Romance, Sand!, Secret Identity, don't get your hopes up, slooooooow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2018-06-10 09:00:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 53,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6949645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sabi/pseuds/Sabi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Good things generally do not happen to Rey Ridley. But when her best friend Finn conjures up a plan to send her on a two week vacation to the private island mansion of SolOrgana publishing, things look like they're finally looking up.</p><p>That is until Ben Solo decides it's the perfect time to also pay a visit to Chewie Key. </p><p>They both came expecting solitude, but it seems the universe has other plans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Leaving on a Jet Plane

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there, Reylo Fam. Professional lurker Sabi here, very nervously adding my trash to the compactor. 
> 
> This was inspired by and is named for the Dido song "Sand in My Shoes". If you listen to it (or already know it), the plot will be fairly similar, so.... spoiler alert? A lot of other songs inspired it as well. I will post some of the inspiration songs for each chapter, but you don't have to listen to them. I just overshare. 
> 
> Fair warning: I may not regularly update because of real life reasons (work, commute, Tumblr lurking, work, etcetera, and also work). But the chapters will be fairly long, so it's not all bad news. 
> 
> Hope you like.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey Ridley gets the opportunity of a lifetime thanks to her BFF Finn and his lovely, generous boyfriend Poe Dameron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters 4 years older than in TFA. No reason. It just happened that way.

“Keep the change,” Rey called over her shoulder, then grunted as she lifted her duffel bag from the curb. The cab driver gave a muffled thanks that she barely acknowledged in her rush to get to the front door of her apartment complex, hoping her landlord would not be lurking behind the front desk at this hour. Entering the lobby as quietly as possible, she stood on tiptoe and could barely make out the top of Mr. Plutt’s bald head behind the counter. A long snore broke the silence, and Rey sighed heavily in relief, stalking quietly towards the stairwell. The rickety old elevator would be too loud, would certainly wake him up. Five stories really wasn’t all that much, anyway.

Except that it was, especially after the two weeks she’d spent _not_ rushing around like a madwoman every day.

Rey panted heavily as she neared her door, debating on whether or not to drag her duffel the rest of the way. The hallway light was flickering again, giving the tenement she’d called home for years that eerie, horror movie feel she thought she’d long ago gotten used to. But somehow those two weeks had made it all so unfamiliar and she found her hackles raised as she glanced up and down the hall, gripping her keys with white knuckles.

She collapsed along with her bag behind the closed door, and she scanned the darkness, waiting for some trace of relief at being home. But as in the hallway, nothing seemed quite the same here, and she wondered if she had been the one to leave the mess of scattered clothing around the apartment or if she’d been robbed while she was gone; it was hard to tell.

“Must’ve been disappointed,” she muttered, her breath finally calming. Really, if anyone had chosen her studio to rifle through, they would have wasted their time. Nothing was of any value-no electronics, no jewelry, not even a hidden jar of rainy day savings. Only pictures and sentimental knick-knacks and a few dried flowers hanging from the window shade.

That thought made her sit up and she ripped open the duffel bag and began hastily pulling out clothing. She was on the verge of panicking until she found the small wooden box wrapped in a tropical patterned sarong, the sight of which also made her lips flicker in to a smile. But she grinned ear to ear when she opened the box and found the hibiscus flower unbruised and only slightly wilted. It was a miracle that it had remained in such fine condition nearly seven hours after it had been carefully tucked into her hair. Rey’s heart fluttered at the memory, and she closed her eyes as she inhaled the fading scent of the flower, half hoping it would conjure some magical, vivid vision of the moment. But nothing came, and when she opened them, she was still there in her run-down studio, now even messier than when she’d left. The steady hum of traffic was almost deafening after hearing only waves and wind for so long. She glared at the windows, so old and decrepit, they kept out no noise, cold or heat.

“What a dump,” she whispered to herself, feeling angry tears spring to her eyes. She wasn’t quite sure what she was upset about, not when there was so much to choose from. Her home was embarrassingly rundown. She was an absolute slob who couldn’t even tell if she’d been robbed or not. She had not one, but two, dead end jobs that worked her to the bone, and yet she still struggled to make rent on time every month. She had almost no social life to speak of, let alone a love life...

But another flutter in her chest followed that last thought. That wasn’t _exactly_ true, now was it?

Rey wiped away a few of those stray tears; walking in the door had been a harsh return to reality, but it wasn’t the hardest thing she’d ever been through. She got up off the floor and let the tap run for a few moments until the rust cleared, filled a glass with clean water and a pinch of sugar, then placed the ruby-red hibiscus inside it. She set it on the stacked crates that acted as her nightstand, placing it just on the other side of her alarm clock, afraid she’d knock it over in a morning daze. She only had one other glass besides this.

She filled the other glass with water for herself, and after draining it, she scanned the room and decided she had definitely been the one who made the mess, obviously while packing for her impromptu trip. Rey almost chuckled at the memory of her frantic digging through boxes and the tiny closet, trying to find something appropriate for the heat of her destination, and coming up dreadfully empty. But instead she groaned as she realized she had quite a laundry day in store for her tomorrow evening, and a long ride on the train uptown to return Jessika’s clothes. What luck it had been that not only were she and her co-worker almost the same size, but that she was willing to lend her anything in the first place. Rey had once seen Jessika nearly slap an intern who’d taken the last donut; sharing was not one of her known virtues.

Rey opened the icebox, stepped on the bottom shelf and felt around until her fingertips grazed the bottle of Correlian red wine she’d won in a silly game at the last office Christmas party. While she’d been planning on saving it for a special occasion, she wasn’t sure there would be anything that could top the experience she’d just had. This was as good a time as any.

In the cramped bathroom, Rey took her nearly full glass of wine and started a bath, wincing as she heard the pipes creaking and groaning. It was half past eleven, well past quiet hours, and she half expected someone to pound on the wall to get her to turn it off. But she lucked out yet again, and the tub was full of lukewarm, soapy water by the time she had cleared her floor of the scattered clothes. She left the duffel where it lay though. No need touch that until tomorrow night anyway.

Sinking into the tub, she smiled dreamily. The water might not be hot, but it was warm enough to remind her of the sparkling ocean she’d left behind less than a day ago. She was sure to get a lot of comments on her golden tan, her hair lightened by the sun, and the absence of dark circles under her eyes. Rey wasn’t sure if she had ever slept as easily as she had there on the island. A sip of warm red wine made her body heat up and tingle as she closed her eyes and started to replay the memory of her perfectly strange two week vacation.

************  


“Rey? It’s after hours sweetheart, what are you still doing here?”

Her head shot up from her desk as Finn’s voice echoed across the empty office. She hadn’t realized it was dark out already.

“What? What time is it?”

“Half past seven. You know I can’t let you stay here that late, the boss will have my head for it!”

“Really?” Rey snarked, rolling her eyes. “I think we both know that’s not true.”

Finn sputtered in embarrassment, and even in the dim light, she could see the blush on his cheeks.

“Now you can’t go around saying things like that out loud-,”

“Finn, who would even hear me? We’re alone!” He sighed and nodded, hopping up on the only part of her desk not covered in copy.

“I never should’ve told you about Poe.”

“Now why would you say that? I’ve never breathed a word about it to anyone!” She asked, genuinely offended.

“Then how did Jessika find out?”

She laughed then, shaking her head in incredulity.

“Are you serious? You don’t think anyone notices the puppy dog eyes you both make at each other? The way you say ‘Goodnight, Mr. Dameron’ like you’re’ going to make damn sure he does have one? C’mon Finn, it’s so obvious! I’m surprised more people don’t know!”

He groaned, his face even more red and eyes panicked.

“Tell me that’s not true! I could get fired for this! _He_ could get fired! You know relationships are forbidden here!”

“Only between employees, Finn. You’re not an actual employee of SolOrgana publishing. You work for the security company contracted to work for SolOrgana publishing. Honestly, I thought you knew this.”

While half of Finn looked relieved at her reasoning, the other half was still worried.

“The point is, I doubt Mr. Solo CEO would look too kindly on technicalities like that. He made that rule for a reason.”

“And that reason was due to the fact that he hates drama.”

“I still don’t like it. I don’t want it to even come to the point where Poe and I would have to reason with him for our jobs. We have it too good here. He’s happy and Mr. Solo treats him like a son. He worked so hard to get where he is now.”

“You are such a sucker for men in positions of power,” Rey teased, squeezing that spot just above his knees that always made him jolt from ticklishness. He yelped and smacked her hand away, laughing regardless.

“Don’t think this has changed the subject now, peanut. What are you doing here so late?”

“I’m just finishing this copy for Jessika. She had a date and wanted to skip out early to…I dunno, shave her legs, or bathe in milk and perfume, or whatever she does that takes five hours to get ready for date.”

“Something you would know nothing about, right?”

Rey glared at him, then rolled her eyes at his loaded sarcasm.

“Look, don’t start with me! I just have too much on my plate right now. I don’t have time for a relationship, and it wouldn’t be fair to anyone-,”

“You’ve been giving me that excuses for the past three years Rey. Since I met you and you thought I was asking you out! It’s almost never a good time to start a relationship, but you can’t keep putting it off. I know you’re lonely, peanut. You don’t have to say it for me to see it.”

She was quiet and she gazed at her hands solemnly. Finn had a point-he _always_ had a good point it seemed. After befriending the lobby security guard three years ago on her first day at SolOrgana publishing, he’d come to know her better than she knew herself. He understood her quirks, knew all of her secrets, and when times were lean, he would never fail to help her out and refused to take anything in return. In another world, Finn would very likely the perfect boyfriend for her; but in this world, not only was he very gay, he was also very much like a brother to her.

His hand wrapped around one of hers and he squeezed gently, bringing her out of her thoughts.

“I know what you’re afraid of. You don’t want to be abandoned. Not again.”

She took a shallow breath, and let it out shakily through her teeth, whispering a tiny ‘yes’.

“I understand. I would never force you to do something you weren’t ready for. If you need more time, then I will stop bothering you about it. But you can’t hold it off forever. You deserve to be happy, Rey, and someday, you’re going to see that and think ‘Why that Finn, not only is he a handsome devil, he’s also the most brilliant-‘,”

“Alright, alright, point taken!” Rey laughed, threatening another tickle. He slid from her desk out of her reach. “Give me another twenty here and I’ll be in the wind, promise.”

“I can do that, but only if you’ll let me give you a ride home. Much too late for you to be taking the train.”

“I can handle myself, you know!” Rey yelled through the empty office as he retreated towards the elevators.

“Oh, but I do,” He called over his shoulder, not even bothering to turn around. “I just don’t want to go through the trouble of bailing you out for crushing some pervert’s face in. Nineteen minutes, better hurry!”

He was gone and Rey rolled her eyes, but smiled as well. She was glad to not have to ride the train; being ogled and propositioned by the late night crowd was the last thing she wanted to deal with tonight. Still, her mind was not at ease after the conversation she’d just had. She knew very well that she had in fact been making excuses to avoid dating. She liked to wonder if anyone could really blame her after all she’d been through…but maybe that was starting to become an excuse, too. Sure, it took time to process and overcome trauma of that magnitude, but Finn had said the obvious-she _was_ lonely. She’d been lonely for a long time, now that she admitted it to herself. She was going on twenty-three now, wasn’t that far too old to never had have a boyfriend…or a second date for that matter?

Her desk phone rang shrilly, and she jumped in her seat before swearing and picking it up.

“What?”

“Fifteen minutes, peanut!”

The dial tone followed and after shaking the very useless musings from her mind, she hunched back over Jessika’s copy, hoping she’d be up to par with her finicky co-worker’s standards.

The ride home with Finn did not involve another lecture about opening her heart or any other bits of brotherly advice. Instead they sang oldies songs loudly and off key, and laughed until their voices went hoarse and cracked. All in all, the best forty-five minutes of her day, possibly her week. As Finn turned down onto her busy street and snagged a spot only half a block down, he suddenly put on his adult face and turned to her.

“I really wish you’d consider moving in with Jessika. She’s offered you three times now, and she’s still determined to get you out of this hellhole. Imagine only a ten minute walk to work, Rey. I know I would feel so much better knowing you’re safe.”

“I’ve told you, it just wouldn’t work. I couldn’t afford the rent without both jobs, and I need the roof to work. There’s no way Jessika would give up her spare room so I can solder wires. I have a good arrangement.”

“He’s taking advantage of you, that’s what Plutt is doing. And you know that! He shouldn’t even be charging you rent on top of the work you do for him!”

“It’s temporary, Finn. Someday, I’m going to save enough and I won’t need to do this anymore. But for now, I have to work, and that’s just fine with me. I promise, it won’t always be like this.”

His eyes softened and lowered for a moment. She swallowed hard in the silence, wishing they could’ve ended the night with nothing more than a hug and a simple goodnight.

“I just wonder…sometimes I think when you say that, it’s you trying to convince yourself, not me.”

Those words stuck with Rey long after she’d climbed the rickety fire escape to the storage shed, carrying the small crate of electronics Plutt had passed to her on her way inside. This, her second job, was what she really loved. Here, the problems were all concrete, there were no annoying, insightful co-workers hovering over her, and she got to turn off the impractical part of her brain for a few hours. But that wasn’t the case tonight, because Finn had hit her right in her metaphorical Achilles heel and she just couldn’t stop _thinking_. Not only was Rey making excuses as to why she was alone, but also as to why she chose to trap herself in an endless, and somewhat abusive cycle. It was true-Plutt was taking advantage of her, and up until now, she was actually grateful for it. After all, who else would have given a 15 year old street rat their own apartment in exchange for a job? Sure, after she’d fixed everything possible in the old building, he’d started charging her rent and changed the nature of her repairs, but she’d learned quickly. Maybe she still felt indebted. Maybe she felt guilty about turning her back on the first person who’d ever given her a chance. Maybe she was just happy that someone for once depended on her and wasn’t going to just walk away. Plutt wasn’t the father figure she had dreamed of as a child sleeping on the streets. But he was more than she’d ever had and it had always been enough.

Until now.

“Dammit Finn!” she cried out, ripping off her goggles as they fogged up from tears. She dropped her soldering iron and pushed away from the flat screen monitor she was repairing. Rubbing at her face angrily, she wished she had a cell phone to call him and curse him out, because now that he’d said it, there was no escaping his words. He’d found her weakness, and she felt like she was cracking in two.

Rey stormed into work the next morning with the full intention of making it known that his advice was no longer welcome, but she stopped cold at the sight of his delighted eyes behind the guard desk.

“What’s going on, why are you so smug?”

Without a word, he popped up and grabbed her hand, practically dragging her to the women’s restroom in the corner of the lobby. She stared at him in complete disbelief as he did a quick scan for feet under the stalls, then eagerly grinned at her.

“Guess what!”

“You’ve lost your kriffing mind? Is that it? Finn, what are we doing in here-,”

“Tell me you have a bikini? Sandals? Big floppy hat?”

“This is getting weirder by the second. What are you getting at? I’m going to be late-,”

“Late for your flight if you don’t get a move on soon!”

Rey took a deep breath and stepped back from her manic best friend.

“You’re not making any sense. What flight? Why all the questions? Why are we in the ladies’? I don’t even know what I want an answer to first, but please, fill in some blanks here!”

“You, my precious little peanut, are going on vacation! Today, in five hours. To a private island in the Florida Keys. You’re going to stay in a mansion, lay around in a bikini and I dunno, maybe climb some trees for some coconuts, something adventurous, I’m sure you’ll think of something. Aren’t you excited?”

She was completely dumbfounded, and tried searching her memory. Had she entered some sort of sweepstakes? Wandered into an alternate dimension where good things actually happened to Rey Ridley?

“I’m-I’m still not following, Finn,” she said softly, her eyes practically begging him to help her understand. He smiled and pulled her into a gentle embrace.

“Poe was supposed to house-sit Mr. Solo’s vacation home in the Keys. But it’s his mother’s 60th birthday and he doesn’t want to miss it. He was trying to figure out who he could trust to take his place, and I told him it should be you.”

“Finn, he hardly even knows me, why would he agree to-,”

“He knows you, sweetheart,” he whispered, pulling back to look at her troubled face. “You really think I don’t talk about you outside of work?”

“Still…Finn, I can’t just up and leave, I need to give notice, and I don’t exactly get paid for vacation time as an intern. How long is this for, anyway?”

“Two weeks.”

The words were barely out of his mouth before she pulled out of his arms and clenched her fists instead.

“Two? Two weeks? Finn, have you lost your mind?” She yelled, and they both winced at her voice echoing off the file walls and floor. “Seriously, you are going to get me both fired _and_ evicted all at once!”

“Look, I know it’s not exactly short, but that’s the beauty of it! Rey, you have never, _ever_ had a vacation! This is the perfect opportunity for you! And you don’t even have to worry about putting in notice here, Poe is your boss, you know. It’s already set!”

“But what about Plutt? He’ll kick me out! I won’t be able to pay rent if I don’t work for two weeks, let alone eat!”

But Finn almost seemed not to hear her. Instead he grinned and pulled out an envelope from his uniform pocket, thrusting it into her hands excitedly.

“I almost forgot the best part! You get paid!”

Rey was almost certain now she was dreaming and this was all a figment of her imagination. Any moment now, her alarm would go off, and she’d find herself in bed in whatever clothes she’d been wearing the day before, her fingertips blackened from soldering smoke.

“Well go on, count it! I want to see your face!”

Shakily, she peeked inside the envelope, then quickly shut it as her eyes went wide. She looked at Finn, her mouth hanging slack like she’d lost control of her jaw. He just nodded, grinning like a madman.

“This…no, it’s a mistake, you can’t…Finn, there’s so much-,”

“Four thousand! That’s way more than you’d make in a month!”

“I…I can’t….,” then reality struck her for a moment and she glared suspiciously at him. “How do _you_ know that?”

He shrugged, turning a bit red.

“Pillow talk.”

“You talk about me to my boss in bed? About my pay?” she cringed. “Really, nothing more important?”

“Trust me, someday you’re going to find out that you have the strangest conversations after… just afterwards. But come on, forget about that! You have to go home, you have to get ready!”

This was all too good to be true. She wanted so very badly to tell Finn that as sweet as this was, it was just too much for her to accept. But as usual, he seemed to read her mind and pulled her limp body into another hug.

“Don’t say no. Don’t be afraid of this. I did this because you deserve it, Rey. Please, let me give you this chance to do something other than just survive.”

A few tears rolled down her freckled cheeks and she found that all she could do was nod. He squeezed her tight and then pulled away to let out a loud whoop and punched an excited fist into the air. Which is exactly how the cleaning lady Janet found him when she bustled in with her cart. She glanced between a frozen Finn and Rey holding an envelope of money, and her eyes narrowed suspiciously as they both started talking at once.

“She um…she dared me to go in here-”

“This isn’t what it looks like-,”

Janet sighed in exasperation before rolling her cart past them.

“Please, that’s the last thing I’d expect out of you two. Now _out_!”

They escaped without another word, but broke into giggles in the hall trying to calm themselves before she walked him back to his security desk.

“I really…Finn, I can’t believe you’ve done this.”

“It’s for you, peanut. Call it making up for all the birthdays and Christmases you had before we met.”

“It still feels like just so much, and I don’t know how I could ever repay you for this.”

“Come back with a lovely tan and some sand in your shoes, and we’ll call it even,” he winked and grinned. “Now go on. Your ticket is in the envelope, directions, everything, it’s all in here. All you have to do is pack your bags and go.”

Rey nodded, fighting back tears and started to walk away. But she quickly turned back and ran into his open arms, as if he’d already known she would. Without any other words, they nodded at each other and she dashed out of the office and back towards the subway, wondering just what exactly she was getting herself into.

She was only a few minutes into ransacking her apartment when she’d had to call Jessika at work to ask her if she could borrow…well, pretty much everything. Surprisingly, after Rey spun a little white lie about a family reunion that she’d very suddenly found out about, her co-worker had gone into full gal pal mode and took an extended lunch before arriving with two suitcases bursting at the seams with clothing and shoes and every accessory imaginable. Rey had systematically pulled out only what she thought she might need and filled up her old canvas duffel bag, the same one that had sometimes acted as a mattress on nights when the shelters were too full. It was the oldest possession she had, and in a way, the only real home she’d had before this studio. It was nice of Jessika to offer up the suitcases, but Rey still need something familiar to help keep her grounded on this whirlwind adventure Finn had set her on.

The agreement with Plutt had gone far easier than expected. She suspected it was the rent she’d offered to pay a full month in advance in exchange for two weeks off from her second job. Though he’d been suspicious about where she’d gotten the money and where she was going, she told him she’d gotten an expected bonus and was going to assist her boss on a few conferences across the country. Either Plutt didn’t think she was capable of lying to him, or Rey had become just that good in the matter of a few hours. Either way, everything was settled, she was packed, and a cab was whisking her away to the airport with an hour to spare.

The commercial flight to Miami was actually quite pleasant despite it being the first one she could remember. Less pleasant was the short flight in the smaller Saab 340, which shuddered with turbulence seemingly nonstop. Rey was not usually susceptible to motion sickness, but being stuck on the equivalent of a minibus flying at several thousand feet above the earth was definitely pushing her limits. The worse of it all was the sudden emergence from the Key West airport into air that felt as thick as pea soup. She began sweating immediately, and she quickly scrapped her hair up into a couple knots to keep it off her neck. As the directions in the envelope had promised, there was a driver waiting for her by the baggage claim, the SolOrgana name respectfully scrawled across a small whiteboard. Luckily, the driver had left the AC on full blast and she was able to cool down for the short drive to the marina.

They started off on a scenic highway that ran along the water, and even though it wasn’t the first time Rey had ever seen the ocean, it certainly felt like it now. Key West was so different from any place she’d ever seen, and she was grateful that the windows of the sleek black Cadillac were tinted dark, because her face was surely contorted into an embarrassingly naïve expression of astonishment. The houses were odd and colorful, so many of them surrounded by cliché white picket fences. The streets were flooded with people, half sunburnt tourists, half well-tanned locals, all moving at a strangely leisurely pace. Flashy souvenir shops and cleverly named seafood restaurants crammed the bustling commercial areas between quiet neighborhoods, but as crowded as it all was, there was an overwhelming sense of calm on every street. There was no hurry here, and it was like a secret that everyone knew, but didn’t dare say out loud lest they break the spell.

After only about twenty minutes, Rey found herself staring at the massive hulk of a cruise ship as she walked towards a small building on the edge of the marina. She was happy to find that Finn really had taken care of every detail, because the moment she said ‘SolOrgana’ to the older, bearded man behind the counter, he pointed her towards the dock, then followed her out, pausing only to lock the doors behind them. She was nervous about getting into the boat at first. She’d never been on the water and had no idea how her body would handle it, especially with the way the oppressive heat and humidity was making her lightheaded. But her attitude changed completely after they’d idled through the narrow channel behind the cruise ship and the captain set out into the open water at full speed.

The ocean breeze was cool and refreshing in the hot sun, the smell and the color of the water unlike anything she’d ever experienced. Little by little, the fears she’d been mulling over during the long flights were beginning to fade away. Rey felt like she was in a whole other world, living an entirely different life now. Mere hours ago, she’d meant to ream Finn for making her even dare to think about changing the chaotic routine of her life; now she was here hundreds of miles from home, from everyone she knew, to spend time on a millionaire’s private island with zero obligations or distractions. Not to mention, she still had a little over three thousand dollars tucked into her tote. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity that Finn had given her, and she was as excited as she was terrified.

While she certainly wasn’t a stranger to being in a new place on her own, this was intentional, and not out of necessity- something Rey was altogether unfamiliar with. Every waking moment of her childhood had been about survival, about finding a relatively safe place to close her eyes or to beg a meal, and above all, avoiding the people who pretended to care about a scrawny little girl alone on the streets. The few years she’d spent in the convent and with her foster family was enough to teach her the people she’d believed would take care of her were actually the ones who would take the most advantage of her in the end. So keeping away from social services became a way of life, because there was no way she was ever going back to being a slip of skin to be owned and abused.

But even after she’d reached an age where the conscientious stopped seeing her as a victim and more of a nuisance to be carefully ignored while begging on corners and outside of markets, Rey had still never stayed in one place for too long. There were more dangers the older she got: the pimps who wanted to bring her into their fold, the police who thought she already was, and the dealers who offered her tempting sums to just make one little delivery. The world became more frightening and it was getting harder to say no. After all, dignity was not going to fill her stomach or watch her back…

Everything had changed when she’d found the junkyard. There, in the forgotten corner of old cars and campers, Rey had found her hands were capable of so much more than just holding out for spare change. She’d spent three years there, sheltered from the elements in the rusting wreck of a camper, borrowing tools and rooting around in the electronic waste, learning how to bring things back to life. It had been as easy as breathing after a time, and trial and error turned into commerce as she found places happy to pay a few dollars for a revived bit of machinery. It wasn’t meant to last of course, and after the owner had finally gotten tired of pretending a teenage girl wasn’t squatting in the midst of his business, he’d strongly suggested she find her way downtown to see a friend of his who might not be as opposed to the situation. That was how she’d found herself standing on tiptoe, peering over the counter at the forever grumpy and suspicious Unkar Plutt, asking for a job.

“Is this your first time to the island, Miss?” The captain to her left asked suddenly, the first words he’d spoken to her.

“Yes,” she yelled back over the roar of the motor, “First time in Key West altogether.”

“Welcome, then. Mr. Dameron will be joining you?”

“It’s just me-,” she began, but quickly clamped her mouth shut as instinct flared up and reminded her not to reveal she’d be alone. The older man looked kind and perfectly harmless, but she would need both hands to count how often she’d been fooled by someone who looked just like him. “-for now. He’ll be coming soon.”

The captain nodded smartly, seeming to buy her story. They rode on in a comfortable silence, only broken by his announcement of the island growing larger on the horizon before them.

“Chewie Key,” he called out pointing ahead, and the boat began to slow.

“Why is it called that?”

“Mr. Solo named it for his dog, Chewie. Biggest damn dog I ever saw, ‘n hairiest, too! He just swam up to the island the first time the family came here, got tangled in the mangrove. Mr. Solo saved him, and that dog never left his side after that.”

“Is he here? On the island?” Rey glanced around nervously, as they approached the dock. She wasn’t exactly afraid of dogs, but hadn’t had the greatest encounters with them while dumpster diving.

“No, he died ten years ago now I think. Mr. Solo was very upset. So was Ben. That was his best friend since he was a boy.”

“Ben?”

“Mr. Solo’s son, miss,” the captain said with a frown, now eyeing her strangely. “You haven’t met him?”

“No, I’m…I’m a new assistant, I haven’t had the opportunity yet,” she smiled, hoping her nervous eyes were well hidden behind the enormous sunglasses Jessika had lent her. The last thing she needed was this man to get suspicious and call the CEO himself to tell him there was a strange girl in his mansion. Poe and Finn would without a doubt be fired and Rey would never forgive herself. To her relief the man nodded thoughtfully and bent down to tie up the boat.

“I guess you wouldn’t have now that he’s all but exiled himself from the family. He was a good kid, but troubled, angry. Maybe you’re better off not meeting him after all, Miss…,”

She didn’t miss the question in his tone, and she realized she’d never even told him her name. In the back of her mind, Rey had started to worry that the man would realize in the next few days that Poe Dameron was in fact not coming to stay with her, and he’d know she was all alone on the island with nowhere to run. But he’d offered up so much unsolicited information, she had obviously earned his trust, and she supposed she could give him the benefit of the doubt.

“Rey. Rey Ridley.”

“Lor San Tekka. Captain Lor, if you please,” he replied as he removed his sunglasses, winking one of his shockingly blue eyes at her. She took his hand willingly when he offered to help her front the boat. He shouldered her duffel and led her down the long dock, giving her a teasing grin.

“Now Mrs. Solo could learn a thing or two about packing from you, I just about break my back every time she comes down!”

Rey laughed without feeling obligated and found herself liking Captain Lor. She was surprised to find herself not minding so much if he did come back to the island during her stay. He then pointed towards the end of the dock.

“That there is the main house, and you’ll stay in the guest room to the west. Best view of the sunset there other than the master.”

As they rounded a cluster of palms, Rey was suddenly overwhelmed by the immense structure looming before her. She had never seen such a beautiful home in her entire life. It was built in a completely authentic Victorian style, like someone had airlifted a home from the French Quarter and dropped it in the dead center of this little tropical paradise. It was painted a classy light gray, complemented by black framed shutters with stark white slats. The veranda on both stories looked as though they might wrap completely around the house, fenced in by an ornate black iron balustrade. As they got closer, Rey could see that the ceiling of the porch was painted blue, an unexpected pop of color in the otherwise monotone façade.

“That’s called haint blue,” Captain Lor offered, as if he could sense her curiosity. “It’s a southern tradition, the blue symbolizes water. Meant to keep the ghosts from entering the house.”

“Does it work?” Rey asked jokingly, quickening her pace as she reached the front steps. She was dying to know what it looked like inside.

“Not really,” Captain Lor muttered, his voice oddly sad. “Still feels a bit haunted if you ask me.”

“Why-,” she began, but he seemed to shake the thought away and interrupted her.

“The house does have central air, but you really don’t need it much this time of year. You should just open all the doors and windows, they’re all netted so you shouldn’t expect too many bugs to get in. But fair warning, they are a fact of life living on an island-just want to make sure you know that.”

“I’m not really squeamish,” Rey shrugged dismissively, earning an approving quirk of his eyebrow.

“The guest house is over there, that’s usually where Mr. Solo sets up his business partners and keeps his office,” he gestured to his right. “Behind that is the solar power system room, and we’ll swing by it after we drop off your bag. There’s a backup generator, but you should know what to do in case the power goes out and it doesn’t kick in.”

“That’s alright, I’m pretty good with a jenny,” Rey grinned, and Captain Lor titled his head good-naturedly at her little boast.

“Now you’re just flirting, honey.”

They shared another easy laugh as they walked to the front door, and after fumbling through his cargo shorts, he found the key and made a grand sweeping gesture with his arm as the door swung open.

“Maison de SolOrgana, Miss Ridley.”

It was at this point that Rey was certain she was going to wake up any moment. There was no way that this was not a dream, because nothing could possibly be this perfect in real life. How else could she find herself stepping into a magazine spread straight off the SolOrgana Publishing presses?

“Breathtaking, isn’t it?”

And it quite literally was, because Rey could not conjure up words to reply. All she could do was nod.

“The Missus seemed like she would never be satisfied until this house looked exactly the way it did in her head. Do you know how many times she made her son repaint just this room? I lost count, honestly.”

It was certainly worth the hard work, because Mrs. Solo had picked the perfect shade of royal blue, just bright enough to be airy, just dark enough to be regal. White wainscoting and decorative wall molding ensconced a formal sitting room, complete with ice blue velvet settees, ornately carved wooden furniture and grey marble floors that were probably worth more than Rey would ever make in her lifetime.

Her awe only increased with every room that Captain Lor showed her on his very thorough tour, and a voice in the back of her head chuckled as he spoke about the house with a personal pride, as if she were his guest. From the kitchen that was a perfect balance between traditional and state of the art, to the screened in sunroom overlooking a shimmering infinity edge pool, Rey found herself blinking back tears. It wasn’t like her to be so emotional, and yet here she was, nearly crying at the sight of a home people only dreamed about-people like _her_. Never in her life had she ever expected she would be given full run of a picturesque mansion, let alone step foot in one.

“I’ll show you to the guest room when you’re ready-,”

“I’m ready!” she squeaked, turning quickly on her heel and practically dancing as she followed Captain Lor up the grand staircase. “How many rooms does it have?”

“Six, but most are just storage now. Mr. Solo is a bit of a collector as you know.”

“Yes, he certainly is,” she chirped back, for once actually knowing what he was talking about. The CEO was well known for his complete obsession with aircraft of any kind, and it was rumored he owned over three hundred model planes as well as several actual ones. It wasn’t terribly surprising when one considered he’d made his living as a stunt pilot before he and his wife became publishing moguls. Poe had confided to Finn that the man had never quite lost his taste for danger, and that he’d personally witnessed him pull a few tricks that would certainly have left a lesser pilot dead.

“This one is Mrs. Solo’s library, you’re welcome to help yourself there. Just make sure you put everything back where you found it. It might seem like a mess, but she has a system.”

Rey nodded and as they walked down to the end of the hallway, it branched off in two directions, and Captain Lor gave a lazy wave towards the left before turning right.

“That down there is Ben’s old room, and this here is where you’ll be staying.”

And then it was heaven all over again, because the guest room he had led her to was fit for royalty. A large, four-poster bed was draped with sheer white curtains, and the romance of it had the little girl in Rey swooning. For a moment, she was taken back to a memory of sleeping in an alley as the rain came pouring down from the warehouse she was too afraid to enter in the dark. Under the sodium yellow streetlight, she’d constructed a shelter from old shopping carts and a ragged tarp she’d swiped from the fence of a construction site a few days earlier. She’d still been young enough to pretend; to pretend that all of her suffering was some kind of mistake, and that any moment, some rich and noble family would come bursting into the alley, declaring their search for their lost princess was at an end. She’d sat awake shivering under that makeshift canopy bed, waiting and crying until exhaustion won out and she settled into the damp cardboard bed and dreamed of a better life.

Well she was here now. It might not be temporary and not at all hers, but just this glimpse of luxury was better than never knowing it at all.

“-and the hot water should work just fine, we just put the new boiler in last summer.”

Rey realized she’d zoned out and Captain Lor had wandered into the on-suite bathroom without her. She stumbled over a fine woven rug and came up behind him just as he was turning on the water in what she could only call a personal swimming pool.

“T-the tub is…,” she mumbled, her eyes wide as she ran her hands along the glittering porcelain lip.

“Huge, right? Can probably fit three or four people in here, comfortably. Maybe one of Ben. Takes about an hour to fill up though, I tell you.”

When Rey didn’t respond immediately, Captain Lor placed a concerned hand on her shoulder.

“You alright, Rey?”

This time, she couldn’t blink away the tears in her eyes, and her face flamed as she found herself crying in front of a perfect stranger.

“You’re not from money, are you dear?”

She was fighting hard to hold back a sob, and so simply shook her head.

“I can see you’re from the complete opposite. Just like me. Your hands, they give you away.”

Carefully and respectfully, he took one of her hands in his and turned it palm up. She was suddenly very ashamed of the callouses, of the stained fingertips and chipped nails. When she tried to pull away, he tilted his head in that fatherly way again.

“You know who else has hands like these? Mr. Solo. He wasn’t always a millionaire, you know. He might come off as a hard ass, but he has a soft streak a mile wide. It’s no wonder he sent you here. He probably sees himself in you, just like he does Mr. Dameron.”

Rey felt as if she could not possibly take another ounce of kindness. She was filled to the brim as it was with the strings Finn had pulled just to get her here. And now to receive validation like this from Captain Lor, she was sure that any moment she would simply combust. She felt terrible about lying to him now.

“Well, I am sure you must be exhausted. It’s almost sunset now, you should grab yourself a nice glass of wine and take it all in. You’re welcome to any of the bottles in the pantry, and I just restocked it.”

“W-will you join me?” Rey asked, genuinely hoping he’d agree.

“I would love to, but I have to close up the marina soon. Another time, my dear-that I can promise.”

She nodded and he gave her hand a gentle squeeze her before turning to leave, saying he would see himself out. As the sound of his footsteps died down the staircase, Rey could feel her composure returning, which was then surpassed with absolute childish excitement. The moment the door down below shut behind the captain, Rey let out a loud squeal and took a running leap onto the plush bed, bouncing once before sinking into the pillowy mattress.

“I could get used to this,” she whispered to herself, rolling over to stare up at the sheer canopy attached to the decorative tin ceiling. As comfortable as the bed was, she found herself eager to be out of it and to see every inch of the house once more, certain she’d missed more than a few of Mrs. Solo’s expert design touches. But more importantly, there was a fridge and pantry to be sized up. She opened the French doors like Captain Lor had advised and took a long deep breath of the ocean breeze before kicking off her sandals and padding downstairs.

Nearly an hour later, the sky was growing dark and the kitchen was taking on a reddish hue. She was a bit alarmed-it seemed so unnatural, and she wondered if there was some strange tint to the glass causing it. Finishing her small feast of crackers and instant noodles, Rey looked through the wine in the pantry and just chose the first bottle of red that caught her eye-she hardly ever drank, and it all tasted the same in her opinion. But after sampling the glass she’d poured for herself, she went stock solid and licked her lips in disbelief. Was this what wine was supposed to taste like?

With a wicked grin, Rey tucked the bottle under her arm and carefully made her way back up the stairs to her room. And as she entered, her eyes were drawn to the French doors that opened to the veranda, and the awesome sight beyond it. She was so startled by the dazzling sunset, she nearly dropped the bottle, and she felt a moment of childish fear. The blazing yellows, oranges and reds were almost apocalyptic, and it was terrifying to witness. But like a moth, she was drawn ever closer towards it, pushing the mosquito netting aside and stepping out onto the veranda. She sat down on one of the plush patio chairs, but then cursed her lack of height as her view was then blocked by the bannister and ornate iron work. Impulsively, she walked over to the railing and after carefully balancing the bottle, hopped up to sit beside it. She let her legs dangle freely as she took another sip of the ruby red ambrosia. The sky was ever changing, melting into colors she’d never seen before, perfectly framed by tall palms at the far edge of the island. As the sun slowly extinguished itself beneath the purpled ocean, she thought back to Finn’s words in the ladies room, words she had heard only hours ago.

_“…let me give you this chance to do something other than just survive.”_

The last strip of brilliant red faded into horizon as Rey felt a tear slowly fall down her check. She didn’t bother to wipe it away. There was nothing to be ashamed of here, she didn’t have to pretend she was strong for anyone. She didn’t have to be afraid of her emotions, of the things she’d kept bottled up for so long. If she wanted to, she could scream at the sky for hours and no one could stop her, no one would hear her. Rey had always felt alone, but this right now felt nothing like she was used to. This was safe and warm and inviting. This was _solitude_. And it was definitely something she could get used to.

“So this is living,” she murmured, leaning her head against the window sill, surveying the darkening island like it was kingdom all her own.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Sabichan on Tumblr
> 
> Chapter Inspiration Songs:  
> "Sand in My Shoes" Dido  
> "Colombia" Anjulie  
> "Rey's Theme" John Williams
> 
> Chapter 1 is dedicated to my dear PerryDowning. You are a delightful human being and a wonderful writer, while I am an awful, flaky friend. Regards to Mr. Downing.


	2. Meet (not so) cute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey meets Ben Solo in the worst of circumstances. The universe might just be on Rey's side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure everyone was wondering "where's the Reylo?" after that first chapter. So here goes...
> 
> Trigger warnings for grabbing, yelling.

The first thing Rey noticed when she woke up was that she was dying. Given her blurry vision, parched throat, and raging headache, there was no other explanation. Her body ached and she moaned in pure misery as she tried to sit up, only to be lost to a wave of nausea that she only barely kept under control. Keeping her eyes low as she waited for her head to stop spinning, she noticed was that she was lying in a strangely plush bed, so much softer than the dank, lumpy twin mattress Mr. Plutt had let her lug up from the basement storage. It was much too bright outside, because the sun did not usually reach her window until noon due to the high-rise across the street. Had she really slept that late? Had she missed an alarm? She was surely a few hours late for work at this point. Could she just call in dead?

Her skin was clammy, and strands of hair stuck to her face irritatingly. The humidity was relieved only by a constant, oddly salty breeze from some unknown source. A quick, bleary glimpse over her shoulder solved that mystery as she caught sight of the open French doors several feet away, and the view of the ocean beyond it. Eventually, her foggy mind realized she was in the guest room of the SolOrgana mansion, and that she’d been drinking last night, which was likely the reason for her impending death now. She rubbed her bleary eyes against the brightness of the day and sat up stretching, letting out a long and ridiculous groan of misery. Suddenly, there was a sharp intake of breath that most certainly didn’t come from her. Rey opened her eyes mid yawn and found that she was not alone.

There was a dark haired man sitting in an ornate armchair that he’d pulled to the foot of her bed. He looked incredibly uncomfortable, especially since his legs seemed entirely too long, and were folded up to nearly his chest, his large hands resting atop his knees. It was almost as if he were merely crouching rather than sitting. His head was titled with a birdlike curiosity as he gave her a very slow and deliberate once-over, and she found her heart quickening under the gaze of his coal-black eyes and parted lips.

“W-who are you?” she cried out hoarsely, scanning the room for the best escape route while also trying not to take her eyes off of him.

“I should be the one asking that question,” the man snapped back, his voice deep and annoyed. Then, as if he had suddenly remembered something very embarrassing, his pale cheeks flushed and he turned to stare at the wall as he dragged a hand through his thick dark hair. “I can wait until you cover up, though.”

Quickly, Rey glanced down and found herself wearing only her bra and panties. A hundred unsavory suspicions ran through her head at that moment as she yelped and clumsily wrestled herself under the blankets, tangling herself in her haste.

“What did you do to me?” she demanded, her mind racing with the implications.

“I didn’t do anything to you! That’s how I found you!” He shot back, almost rising from his seat. But the moment he saw her flinch at his raised voice, he seemed to settle and took a long and calming breath. “Who are you and why are you in _my_ parent's house?”

Rey wanted to cry at those words, and judging from her sore eyes and runny nose, she’d probably done enough of that last night already. Still she found herself already blinking back tears as she lowered her eyes from Ben Solo’s accusatory stare. This was a worst case scenario, and something she certainly had not even planned for. She hadn’t even known Mr. Solo even had a son until Captain Lor had mentioned him. But there was no doubt about it now. She and Poe would be fired and Finn would never speak to her again. This was it, this was how her life went to hell. She found herself wishing she actually was dying instead of suffering from a massive hangover in a stranger’s family home.

“Look, I can easily just call the police and you can tell them instead-,”

“I’m housesitting!” Rey croaked out, her fear finally loosening her throat.

“What?”

“I took Poe’s place, he wanted to visit his mother instead.”

“I don’t know who _Poe_ is,” the man said with a roll of his eyes, pinching the bridge of his generous nose. “And I don’t know anything about any house sitter.”

“I swear, that’s why I’m here! Captain Lor brought me over yesterday, he can tell you!” she suddenly exclaimed, remembering the kindly man. “Didn’t he tell you I was here?”

“Captain Lor…,” he muttered, ignoring her question as his eyes drifted towards the wall again. He chuckled bitterly to himself, shaking his head. “Alright, but I still don’t know who you are.”

“I’m Rey. Rey Ridley.”

“That’s an odd name you have there, _Rey_ ,” he said with a quirked eyebrow, and for a brief moment, she could clearly see his resemblance to Mr. Solo, whom she’d only seen in pictures and glimpsed from the back of very crowded assemblies in the grand hall of the publishing headquarters. “Do you work for my parents?”

“Yes-well, I work for Poe Dameron who works for him-I mean _them_ , but mostly for Mr. Solo. But I’m just an intern. I don’t actually know your father.”

“Good for you,” he huffed again, and there went his hand through his hair once more. He shook his head, now rising to pace the room. Rey was suddenly struck how close his head was to the ceiling. How tall was this guy?

“How long have you been here?”

“Since dawn,” he replied in a more conversational tone. “Certainly wasn’t expecting a guest.”

She wasn’t sure if that was a joke or not, so she decided not to laugh to avoid offending him. That seemed to be the wrong choice since he quickly stopped his pacing and turned to her.

“You have to leave. I’ll give you an hour to get ready, then I’m taking you back to-”

“No!”

The room was complete silence as she slowly brought a hand to her traitorous mouth. He stared at her, eyes narrowed with stunned indignation as he took a step towards her.

“Excuse me?”

“Please don’t make me leave,” she whispered, her bravery now wavering. “I’m supposed to be here for two weeks. I just got here. Please, I just want to do my job.”

“Really? You consider getting wasted off my parent’s wine and passing out half naked as your job?”

His voice was harsh and filled with a rage that unnerved her. Hadn’t the captain mentioned something about this yesterday? It was all such a blur now…

“I-I’m sorry. I just…I’ve never had real wine before.”

His head did that strange tilt again, his intense eyes narrowing in suspicion.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, then quickly shook his head in frustration. “Never mind-you still have to leave. Even if you’re telling the truth, there’s no need for you to stay now that I’m here. So I’m going to walk out of this room and you’re going to get dressed and packed and ready to go in one hour. Got it?”

Rey felt her stomach twist with both anger and betrayal. Of course this would happen to her. The one moment she found some semblance of peace, the universe found some way to rip it away from her. She refused to meet his eyes, afraid that he’d see the tears forming there. She only nodded, her shoulders slumping, and he made a grunt of approval before leaving the room.

When she was sure he was gone, Rey let the dam burst and began to sob quietly, her head aching even more horrendously as she tried to hold it in. Her blurry eyes drifted to the open door to the veranda where she spotted the traitorous wine bottle on its side near the railing. She could only remember short snippets of the night, and she vaguely remembered talking to someone on the phone-was it Finn? What had she said? Why had she been crying?

“Kriffing perfect,” she muttered aloud staring to drag her aching body out of bed. The jerk who’d been watching her sleep didn’t seem to be very reasonable, so asking him for more time to sleep off her hangover would likely be met with more yelling. She picked up her clothes from where they lay scattered on the floor and then just stood there staring at her still packed duffel bag. This was so unfair. This guy had no idea what he was forcing her to do, what he was taking away from her. Her once in a lifetime opportunity was over before it had even begun, and by the end of the day, she’d likely be greeted by a nosy and gloating Mr. Plutt as she dragged herself back home.

“Asshole,” she swore, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand and stomping to the bathroom. She was going to at least take advantage of the futuristic looking shower before he forced her out of this slice of heaven.

Twenty minutes later, she was feeling refreshed and somewhat smug for the extra-long shower, and she continued to take her sweet time as she combed and tied up her hair. It felt like it had become even more humid than when she’d first awoken, and she felt herself already starting to sweat. Tropical weather was not as ideal as the movies made it seem...

And that was when her vision went completely white, and she found herself yelping and covering her face at the sudden brightness. It lasted only a second, and just as she was starting to wonder if her hangover had returned with a vengeance, the house was rocked by a massive explosion from somewhere nearby. Everything shook, and she could feel the vibrations all the way down to her bones. She shrieked and dropped to the ground, her heart racing as she tried to comprehend what was happening, covering her head in case the house starting falling down around her. But just as quickly as it came, the earthquake stopped.

Then the lights went out and she realized just how dark it was outside. It seemed like it had just been high noon before she’d showered, and now it was as if hours had passed and it was already evening. Out of nowhere, a supernaturally strong gust picked up, causing the windows to rattle, and the curtains and mosquito netting around the open French door began to whip manically in the wind. It was so strong, it stung Rey’s eyes, and she huddled on the tile floor in hear as the rain began to hammer down on the house, her ears ringing at the impossible volume.

The hall door swung open and the jerk appeared, his face twisted in confusion as he caught sight of her on the ground. He swore incoherently and ran to close the doors where the rain was now coming through in sheets. Rey watched him in awe as he fought against the wind to close them, her eyes latched onto the muscles of his thick arms bulging as he struggled. Finally, the doors shut and he stood there doubled over, catching his breath.

“What happened? What was that noise?” she asked in a choked voice. For a moment she wasn’t sure he’d heard her over the sound of the storm raging outside. “Mr. Solo-,”

“Don’t call me that!” he shouted, giving her a deathly glare. She flinched and gripped the towel tightly around her chest as he stood back up to his full height, gesturing towards her aggressively. “Why are you _never_ dressed? Can you put something on already?”

Her face went red at his words and she scrambled over to her duffel bag, dragging it into the bathroom before slamming the door shut behind her. After dressing hastily, she took a few deep breaths before opening the door to find him still in the room. He was standing in front of the doors, just staring outside. She approached him carefully, unsure if he knew she was there. She cleared her throat to avoid calling him the wrong name again, and he barely inclined his head to acknowledge her.

“What was that?”

“Just a storm.”

“ _Just_? There’s no way, there was some kind of explosion out there!”

“You’ve never been that close to a lightning strike, I take it?”

He turned to her, his dark eyes narrowed but thoughtful. Rey’s own eyes went wide as his words sunk in.

“That was lightning? And thunder? It sounded like a bomb went off! How close was it?”

“It hit somewhere on the island. Might’ve blown out one of the solar panels, but the generator should have kicked in by now, unless that got damaged, too.”

“Or the fuses might’ve blown.”

“Or that,” he nodded, his eyes flickering curiously over her face. She tried not to look back at him, instead turning her attention to the view. It looked so drastically different from yesterday, and she could feel her pulse quicken as the palm trees and island brush whipped violently in the wind. The doors and windows rattled in their panes, and even the walls seemed to groan under the strain of the storm.

“Is it always like this? When it rains?”

“Not always. But we get it worse out here. There’s no buffer like the mainland has. Just the Atlantic to one side, Gulf on the other. We’re in the crossfire.”

“Why would anyone build a house out here when it’s so dangerous?”

“Why not?” he smirked, seeming to laugh at some private joke.

Out of the corner of her eyes, she could see he was still staring at her. It wasn’t until she felt his warm breath on her shoulder that she realized how closely she was standing to him.

“So you’re Ben Solo, then?” she asked as bravely as possible, finally meeting his eyes, finding she had to crane her neck far upwards to do so. He was well over six foot for sure. “Captain Lor said it wasn’t likely that I’d ever be meeting you, let alone here. So why are you here?”

Once again, she had misjudged and ruined the neutral mood he’d been in. He huffed in disbelief and turned away.

“Really? You’re asking me what I’m doing in my own home?”

“That’s not what I meant-,”

“It’s not any of your business anyway. As soon as this storm passes, you’re on your way back to wherever you came from.”

Rey bit back a smartass retort as an idea popped into her head. Just a moment ago, he hadn’t seemed entirely awful, so maybe he _could_ be reasoned with. She just had to play her cards right and there could be a chance she’d convince him to let her stay. Maybe not for the full two weeks, but a few more days at least.

“I’m from-,” she started to say with a forced smile, but she was quickly cut off as he turned on his heel and stomped towards the hallway.

“That’s not any of my business either,” he grumbled, and then he disappeared. She could hear his heavy footsteps echo down the stairs, her face flushing red with both frustration and embarrassment.

“What is your _problem_?” she whispered harshly after him, a part of her hoping he’d hear her. She stood there for a long time staring out at the violence she was barely sheltered from, and when a particularly strong gust hit, she flinched from the shaking doors and decided it was safer back on the bed.

She lay sideways so she could still watch, and after her blood stopped boiling, she felt a grin tugging at her lips. The storm had come out of nowhere, just in time to prevent Jerk Solo from kicking her out of paradise-maybe the universe wasn’t completely against her after all. But the rain wouldn’t last forever. She’d have to somehow convince him to let her stay longer, but he certainly wasn’t going to make it easy, and she knew absolutely nothing about him.

“Fuck!” came a loud cry from downstairs, and she was on her feet in an instant. But the sitting room and kitchen were both dark and empty-where was he?

“Hello?” she called tentatively, fully expecting him to ignore her. “Are you ok?”

“In here! Just banged my damn head.”

Her lips quirked in surprise that he’d even graced her with a response.

“Do you need some help?” she asked, walking towards the source of his reply back in the kitchen. The pantry door was half open and she could see wild the wild dance of a flashlight through the crack. Just as she reached forward to open it, he shoved it open from the other side. She yelped and tumbled backwards, and as she did, her foot kicked out and hit the door, forcing it back the other way and straight into Ben Solo’s face.

As she fell, everything seemed to go in slow motion: his eyes went wide, and he tried to avoid the sharp edge swinging right at his aquiline nose, but only managed to tilt his head at an angle as the door slammed against it. A split second later, he was wincing and crying out sharply as a long, angry red line formed from the middle of his forehead, skipping the bridge of his nose, but continuing on down his cheek and jaw. Both gravity and time caught back up as Rey’s body collided with the floor, and she felt all of the air rush from her lungs just before her head smacked the tile and everything went black.

 

***************

The first thing Rey noticed was that she was back in bed and dying again.

She expected her memory to be hazy after the fall she’d had, but surprisingly, she remembered every mortifying and painful moment of it. Gingerly, she tested her fingers and toes, and finding they responded somewhat satisfactorily, she shifted from her place on her stomach to her side and reached up to touch the back of her head. The three buns she’d tied her hair into were still intact and when her hand came away with no blood, she breathed an aching sigh of relief.

Suddenly, she noticed the soft strumming of a guitar nearby, and even more quietly, a deep voice accompanying it. She glanced around the guest room to find it only lit by a few candles, a clear sign that the power was still out. The French doors open were again, but instead of seeing the bright and dazzling night sky, Rey could only see a wall of grey. It wasn’t rain, though the air did feel incredibly heavy and humid. Curious at both the grey sky and the source of the music, she slid out of bed and onto shaky legs to make her way to the veranda.

It was like stepping out into a dream, or the set of a movie. The entire world beyond the railing was lost in the thickest fog she’d ever seen in her life. Her lips parted and her eyes widened at the strangeness of it all. Everything was so muted, she could barely hear the ocean lapping at the shore, and there wasn’t even the slightest sway of wind. As she stepped out onto the veranda, she swept up tendrils of fog with her feet, and she gasped at the damp, but magical feeling. She smiled in absolute wonder-this was like a fairytale…

“You’re not dreaming,” said a voice from behind her, and she whipped around to see who had spoken, but winced and hissed in pain at the sudden movement.

“Be careful, you had a pretty bad fall,” the voice said again, and she turned slowly to discover Ben Solo was sitting several feet away, almost completely shrouded in fog. “I’m surprised you’re up already.”

“I heard music,” she groaned, rubbing her neck.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t think it was that loud.”

She was about to ask him what he meant when she saw him move ever so slightly, and once again came the guitar strumming. She felt her lips twitch into an unbidden smile as she took a step towards him. Little by little, he came into focus, and her smile faded as she took in the dreaminess of the image before her.

Ben was sitting on one of the plush lounge chairs with his long legs stretched out and resting on the seat of another. He was wearing only a pair of black cargo shorts, and his impossibly muscled arms and torso were barely covered by the guitar resting on his stomach. Those large, strong hands that seemed to keep drawing her eyes were dancing skillfully over the strings, sounding out some sorrowful and maddeningly familiar tune. But it was his face that really took her breath away. His jet black hair framed a uniquely angled and unusually handsome profile, and his eyes, so dark and soulful, were glistening with a supernatural light from some source she couldn’t see. He stared intensely at her as his full lips parted and just barely moved, as if he were whispering to himself. He looked like a work of art, half demonic and half angelic, and so beautiful that she wasn’t so sure she wasn’t actually dreaming.

He paused mid-strum, and one thick brow quirked up in concern.

“You feeling ok? You do remember me, don’t you?”

Rey’s cheeks flushed as she realized she must’ve been gaping at him like some idiot, and she tore her eyes away towards the fog.

“Y-yeah. Just a little dizzy, sore. Sorry.”

“Sorry for what? For this?”

She glanced back at him as she heard him sit up and lean towards her and found him pointing at himself. She squinted and then gasped as she caught sight of the bruise staring to form across his now very unreadable face. She was absolutely horrified, and she stared at him in shock, just waiting for him to explode at her like earlier. She hugged herself and chewed on her bottom lip as she tried to think of what he expected her to say next, practically biting clean through when he started to chuckle.

“C’mon, don’t look at me like that! It was an accident, you know. It’s not like you got away unscathed.”

He quickly stood, setting down the guitar before approaching her, and she felt her body go rigid as he stretched out a hand to her. She had somehow forgotten how ridiculously tall he was. He seemed to pick up on her hesitance and his eyes softened as he sunk low into his large frame, almost hunching over to look less intimidating.

“Can I check? Your head, I mean.”

“Oh…um, yes, yes,” she muttered, gratefully turning around to hide her deepening blush. She felt a jolt of electricity surge through her body as his hand brushed against the base of her neck, and she hoped he didn’t feel the way she shivered at the sensation. She felt him lift one of her hair buns and start to press gently against her scalp, each time asking if she felt any pain. It was mostly a no, except for one spot in particular that had her flinching and turning back to him.

“That’s where you hit the hardest, it’ll probably be tender for a day or two. But at least you don’t have a concussion. Guess those cushioned your fall,” he grinned and gestured towards her buns. Rey smiled back, not so much at his joke, but more at the warm feeling the sight of his upturned lips were stoking in her. She must’ve really been out of it earlier if she was only now realizing how gorgeous he was...

An awkward moment of silence passed before he cleared his throat and looked towards the fog. Ben walked to the railing, leaning over on his forearms, and Rey’s eyes traced his body, drinking in the angles of bone and muscle with a fascinated appreciation. She blinked quickly, mentally chastising herself for being such a creep. With a quick and calming breath, she joined him, if only to keep him out of her line of sight.

“Damn strange, I’ve never seen anything like it, and I pretty much grew up here.”

“Neither have I. Though I don’t get too much fog where I’m from anyway.”

“Really? No fog in England? Not your best joke.”

It took Rey a moment to understand what he meant, and then she laughed, bowing her head bashfully.

“I meant in my area in New York. I’m not really from England-at least if I am, I don’t remember. I’ve lived in New York my whole life, but I’ve just always had this accent. I can’t really shake it.”

“It’s…it’s a nice accent. Very distinguished. I bet it sounds amazing when you curse.”

Rey was surprised to find herself laughing, but even more so that he joined in. She was starting to wonder if maybe that door to the face had knocked the jerk right out of him, because he was surprisingly pleasant right now. Why couldn’t he have been this way from the start? If he had, she certainly wouldn’t feel as troubled as she did now by the way her fingers twitched in envy as he ran a hand through his long, black hair. His hair had no business looking so good in this stifling humidity.

“So why don’t you remember where you’re from? You have amnesia or something? You do seem to pass out a lot.”

While she did laugh at that as well, she felt a twinge of discomfort in the pit of her stomach. Was she really going to tell him the answer to that? She’d only known him for all of a few hours-more like fifteen minutes if one discounted the time she’d spent unconscious. Her hesitance was apparently not lost on him, and his smile faded and his eyes lost some of that attractively mischievous glint.

“You don’t have to tell me-,” he started to say in a subdued tone.

“It’s alright. You’re not the first one to ask me, you know,” she smiled reassuringly. She really wanted to keep this moment going. It would help her case in convincing her to let her stay…and it wasn’t exactly torture having a conversation with him either. “I don’t remember anything about my parents. All I know is they left me at a convent when I was about five. Safe surrender or something like that.”

Ben’s face fell as he processed the bombshell she’d apparently just dropped. He pursed his lips and looked regretful that he’d asked. She could only wonder how he’d react to hearing about what happened after she’d escaped the convent…

“I’m sorry, I didn’t…I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say to that.”

“You’re supposed to ask me why I’m not a nun, silly,” she chided playfully, and felt a rush of relief at seeing his lopsided grin return. “Well, I shared something about myself, so quid pro quo. Why _are_ you here? Captain Lor said-,”

“He says a lot of things, and all of them are only partially true,” Ben huffed, but thankfully, didn’t seem completely put off by her question this time around. “I’m here to work. I needed somewhere quiet, and an uninhabited island seemed to fit the bill.”

“Work? You came _here_ to work?”

Rey gestured to the island paradise around them in confusion. But instead of clarifying, Ben rounded his shoulders back, his eyes narrowed smugly, his full lips twisted into a half smirk.

“You have no idea who I am, do you?”

“Well…you’re Mr. Solo’s son, so unless you have a secret, evil twin, I’m not sure what you mean.”

“You’re not too far off, I suppose,” he replied cryptically, then shook his head as he chuckled. “I’m a writer. You might say I’m well known.”

“Oh,” Rey whispered back, feeling very embarrassed now. First, she’d had no idea that her very famous boss had a son, and now she was finding out that he was probably just as famous. Never before had she regretted not learning more about the people she worked for, or about what was going on in the world in general. She looked so ignorant right now, and she wished that the fog would do her a favor and swallow her up, too.

“I can’t say I’m too surprised. I don’t write under my given name. I just assumed you might be in on the secret.”

“I’m pretty new to the company, so I’m not exactly privy to a lot of secrets.”

“Do you read much?” He ventured, still looking very pleased with himself about his mysterious alter ego.

“No, I um, I don’t really have a lot of free time.”

“Busy social life? Or does my father really work you that hard?”

“Neither. I have two jobs and zero social life. I’m so out of touch, I didn’t even know you existed until Captain Lor told me!” she blurted out before cursing herself internally. Why did she tell him that? She was making herself look more pathetic by the minute! And judging by the way all gentleness had faded from his face, that's exactly how he saw her. Ben let out a laugh that contained no trace of mirth and he rubbed absently at the bruised line on his face.

“I see. So you had no idea the CEO you’re housesitting for has a thirty-four year old son. Plus, you have a mysterious second job, no friends or boyfriend-,”

“I have friends!” Rey interrupted, unsure why that had rankled her in particular.

“Of course you do. Now just a guess here-are they only from work?”

“Y-yes, but they’re real friends,” she snapped back, not exactly appreciating his sarcastic tone. He was drifting back into jerk mode slowly but surely. “They’re the reason I’m here in the first place. They wanted me to have a vacation…of sorts.”

He was silent for a long time, and his stare was unnerving as he seemed to search her face for something she couldn’t possibly fathom. When he spoke again, his voice was a near whisper.

“My father has no idea you’re here. He has no idea who you even are, am I right?”

Rey froze, her blood icy cold in her veins. She didn’t like the way he’d said that. She didn’t like that predatory glint in his eyes or the thick cord of tension pulsing in his neck.

“I’m right. Ok, so this Pope guy-,”

“ _Poe_ ,” she corrected testily.

“Poe, right. So he sends you out here instead of following my father’s instructions to house sit for two weeks. You, a complete stranger, now have full run of the home of one of the wealthiest families in in the country, all because your ‘friends’ decided you have no life and need a vacation. Am I getting this straight so far?”

Rey bristled at his words-when he said it like that, it did sound pretty awful. But it still didn't explain why he'd so suddenly changed personalities again.

“I am. How very convenient,” he continued, then chewed on his generous bottom lip for a moment. “Alright then…well, you’ve played a good game so far, Rey. If that is your name and not just the first word that came to mind when I woke you up from your drunken stupor-,”

“What the hell are you getting at?” She demanded, suddenly at her wits end. His eyes flashed wide in surprise for a brief moment, then he narrowed them again, rising to his full height to stare down at her menacingly. But she was having none of it, and glared right back at up at him, her fists clenching tight at her sides.

“Who sent you here? Who are you spying for? Is it Hux?”

“ _What_?” she spat in disbelief “What are you talking about? No one hired me to spy on anyone! Who is Hux?”

“Cute, very fucking cute! But this isn’t my first time at this game! I know you’re here to spy on my father, or my mother-hell, maybe this time you’re just here to spy on me!”

“You’re crazy, you’re kriffing crazy!” Rey shouted, and started to walk away. But suddenly, one of his large hands snagged her wrist, locking her with an iron grip. “What are you doing, get off of me! What is wrong with you-,”

“What’s wrong with me?” He sputtered furiously, “I’ll tell you what’s wrong, _Rey_. Every few years, I get some little charlatan with a sob story trying to claw her way into bed with me so I’ll spill all the details on dear old mom and pop and the family business. But you- _you_ really went the extra mile! You actually infiltrated his company! I don’t know what or who you had to do to get yourself on this island, but this ends now!”

“I’m not a spy, you nutjob! I’m just an intern! Let go of my arm!” She struggled, but his hand wouldn’t budge. His grip wasn’t strong enough to hurt, but it was enough to very clearly tell her he wasn’t done talking yet.

“Where does ‘just an intern’ get three thousand dollars cash and a bag full of designer clothes?”

Rey froze and her jaw dropped as Ben’s face lit up triumphantly.

“You went through my bag?”

“Did you really thought I was stupid enough to fall for this trick again? To have some beautiful, down-on-her-luck girl just show up in my life? You thought you could just worm your way onto this island and lay around half naked and think I’ll just fall head over heels again-,”

“Let me go, you crazy son of a bitch or I will _make_ you,” Rey demanded slowly, growling through her teeth. Ben had struck a nerve by refusing to let her go. She wasn’t afraid of him, not by a long shot. If anything, she was ready to show him that he had a very real reason to be afraid of her.

But something shifted in his expression and his eyes suddenly flew to where he held her. Suddenly, he released her, turning away while running a hand through his hair for the umpteenth time. He took a few wide steps away as she dashed into the guest room, slamming and locking the French doors behind her, yanking the curtains shut.

A moment later, a deep primal scream erupted from outside as Ben began tossing around the furniture on the veranda. Rey winced as she heard every thud of something landing in the sand below, cursing herself for ever thinking he was handsome when he was obviously just a spoiled, paranoid prick with the kind of issues that only rich people must have. She straightened her shoulders and walked to her duffel, changing into her nightclothes and blowing out the candles. After locking to door to the hall, she curled up in bed, her body still sore from the remnants of the hangover and the fall in the kitchen. Her stomach growled nearly as loud as Ben raged outside, but she ignored it easily, just as she’d been doing for the majority of her life.

Eventually, the din outside faded away, and she figured he’d run out of things to throw around and probably moved onto the other side of the house. She briefly wondered how he was going to get back inside since she’d locked the door. And after the way he’d grabbed her and the tantrum he was currently throwing, there was no way she was letting him back in. He could climb to the roof like he was King Kong and swat at more imaginary enemies for all she cared.

“Kriffing baby,” she muttered to herself, forcing her eyes shut and letting exhaustion claim her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter inspiration music:  
> "Rey's Theme"- John Williams  
> "Experience" - Ludovico Einaudi  
> "Five, Four" - Basia Bulat
> 
> Sabichan on Tumblr
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	3. A Little Respect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tables are turned, and Jerk Solo has a change of heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings:  
> Possibly dubious consent due to drinking  
> Possibly triggering for grabbing, touching, yelling
> 
> Notice: My industry is in crunch time and I will be very busy for the next few weeks. But I will attempt to update again soon, if not by this week, then next Monday. Thanks for your patience.

It was still dark when Rey awoke, and a glance at the clock beside the bed showed it was just past six am. She would usually just be getting to work now, and Finn would be eagerly awaiting her behind the security desk so he could fill her in on whatever romantic thing Poe had said or done the night before. A tiny smile cracked her lips and she found herself very badly wanting to talk to him about Jerk Solo and his antics. Also, Finn was no stranger to talking his way both into and out of situations-he might have some idea how she could glean at least a few more days on the island before being shipped off back to reality.

It hadn’t always been this way, her being so open and ready to spill her secrets to someone. But over the years, Finn had wormed his way past every one of her defenses and she wasn’t sure if there was anything she _hadn’t_ told him. In the beginning, she’d thought he pitied her, and that he was only nice to her because of the handful of awful things she’d told him about her past. But somewhere along the way, she’d realized there was a difference between pity and compassion, and that Finn truly cared about her. He’d shown her real friendship, and had asked for nothing but honesty in return. So eventually, at her own pace, she’d told him her entire story, or at least as much as she could remember. He’d cried for her, cried with her, had held her tight when she would reveal anything especially painful or traumatizing. He saw through all of the bad, and in so many ways, just his presence had helped her to heal, and had helped her to grow into the relatively well adjusted person she was now. Finn genuinely loved her, something he said often and easily, as if he didn’t realize just how precious those words were to Rey. That was perhaps the only thing she’d never thought to mention to him-that he was the first to ever say it.

Her eyes stung as she realized how much she missed him, and she rolled out of bed to search for the phone she vaguely remembered using the first night. She found it had rolled just under the skirt of the bed, probably after falling out of her hand when she’d passed out. But her heart broke when she found there was no dial tone.

“No wonder,” she muttered to herself as she tried switching on the bedside lamp and found that the power was still out. It was surprising that Ben had not fixed the fuses-unless he didn’t know _how_?

“Psychotic and useless. Just my luck.”

She padded over to the veranda as she brushed her teeth, wondering how much damage he’d ended up doing last night. Outside, she was met yet again with a wall of grey, though it wasn’t quite as thick as last night. She knew Florida was known for its odd weather, but this was something altogether weird. But she couldn’t help but chuckle to herself as she thought how frustrated Ben would be to find he still wouldn’t be able to get rid of her just yet, because there was no way they could navigate back to the marina in this soupy mess. The universe was still on her side, it seemed.

The entire veranda was devoid of furniture, and a quick glance over the railing confirmed her suspicions. If he thought she was going to help him lug all of that back upstairs, he had another thing coming. After rinsing her mouth, she returned to the balcony and walked around the length of it, sighing as she found every side was also completely empty. The worst was the section over the pool, where he’d somehow thrown some chairs far enough to clear the roof of the sunroom; she was sure he’d get a mouthful from Mrs. Solo when she found her very fine wooden furniture smashed to pieces on the concrete. She was just about to laugh again as she turned the final corner, but stopped short and gasped instead.

Ben was lying flat on his back, completely dead to the world, a large bottle of rum nearly empty beside his outstretched hand. He must’ve been out there all night…

“Ben?” she called tentatively, taking a few cautious steps towards him. He didn’t stir, so she moved in closer, strangely tempted to brush away a few stray strands of inky locks from his face. Kneeling down now, she touched his shoulder and whispered his name again.

“Ben, you ok?”

He let out a few mumbles, but otherwise showed no signs of waking up. Rey wasn’t exactly sure what to do-should she just leave him there? It wasn’t like it was cold out, and there was zero danger of him rolling off the veranda to join the furniture he’d thrown down to the sand last night. But something about leaving him to sleep outside like this just seemed so…cruel. After all, he hadn’t left her lying on the kitchen floor after her fall.

Quickly, her face felt hot and she was sure her heart had sped up just a bit as she thought about the obvious fact that he’d carried her upstairs last night, had laid her in bed, and then kept watch over her. For someone with his temper, those actions were a complete contradiction; it was almost gentlemanly, kind, and exactly the opposite of the man she’d first woken up to.

She surprised herself by reaching out and giving into that impulse to brush the hair from his eyes. Rey frowned as she saw the bruise and impact mark from the door had only worsened. Again, her hand moved before she could stop herself, and she gently ran a finger over the shallow cut on his chin, the pale skin puckered and purpled around the wound.

“Baz?” he murmured suddenly, and his eyes opened ever so slightly to gaze up at her. She found herself swallowing hard at the raw, heartbreaking look that crossed his face as he realized she wasn’t whomever he’d been calling. With a sigh and a deep voiced groan, Ben rolled over away from her, as if even in his semi-unconsciousness, he couldn’t deal with the disappointment of seeing her face.

Rey crouched there for a few minutes, bouncing softly on the balls of her feet as she watched the steady rise and fall of his thick torso. Baz must’ve been an ex-girlfriend, very possibly one of the “charlatans” he’d ranted about last night. She wondered how long it had been since his breakup; maybe that was the real reason he was here on the island? It was surprising to find herself feeling very sorry for Ben Solo, but even though she had never been through a romantic breakup herself, she knew all too well what it was like to find out she was being used. With that in mind, she decided it was only right that she somehow get him inside the house, if only to return the favor.

“You’re still crazy, but maybe that’s not all your fault,” she whispered more to herself than him. She fell back on her heels then and stood up straight, taking a long stretch before bending back over and grabbing both of his thick ankles. There was no way she could carry him to bed, but she was probably strong enough to drag him a few yards.

But it turned out he was a lot heavier than he looked, probably because his huge frame remained dead weight as he continued to sleep peacefully the entire way. Rey was slick with sweat and panting hard as she finally stepped over the threshold of the guest room. There was no way she could make it all the way to the room down the hall that Captain Lor had pointed out as Ben’s.

“I guess technically they’re _all_ your rooms,” she huffed out, leaning back to crack a few vertebrae before returning to her task. Suddenly, there was a sickening squeak, and she nearly lose her grip on his ankles in shock before she realized it was the sound of his damp skin squealing on the tile floor. Luckily, the sound did not seem to bother him in the slightest, and it faded as she got closer to the bed. Now came the hard part…

“Ok, Jerk Solo. How are we going to get you up here?”

If anyone had been watching, they probably would’ve thought her strange for speaking to his unconscious form, but it was just part of her problem solving process. There wasn’t a single thing she’d ever worked on that she hadn’t had at least a brief and one-sided conversation with. This heap of a man was no different.

“Ok, maybe if we-,” she started to mumble as she grabbed hesitantly at his torso, but all words and sentient thought was cut short as strong arms lashed around her small frame like strangling vines, and she was pulled on top of his prone form. Her face was pressed just below his collarbone as a hand cradled the back of her head, and the other arm wrapped around her waist, a large hand clamped firmly onto the opposite hip. It was an impossible hold to break without any leverage, and she felt panic rise like bile in her throat as her instincts kicked in. Her legs, both slack and akimbo from shock, started to scramble against the clammy tile, finding little to no purchase. Meanwhile, her arms were completely locked against his chest, and she was really fighting the urge to dig her short, chipped fingernails into his skin to get him to release her.

The only thing stopping Rey from completely panicking was the sound.

It was equal parts peaceful and maddening, that strong thumping of his heart. Every beat echoed into the ear pressed over his chest, reverberating into her very bones, making her own heart speed up, as if to match it in pace. She felt her eyelashes fluttering wildly, trying to blink back tears that had sprung to her eyes for no reason at all, and she bit her lip to muffle a sob that she could not understand the reason for. Whether consciously or not, Ben seemed to react, and the iron hold he’d had on her lessened just barely. Then his fingers started to move ever so slightly in tiny circles, one in her hair and the other against the bare skin of her hip. An indescribable warmth seemed to swell throughout Rey’s body, starting from the center of her chest, then flowing outwards, until the nerves of the tips of her fingers and toes tingled. A tear finally managed to escape, trailing down over the bridge of her nose, and likely landing softly against the tight planes of Ben’s chest.

Her heart began to pound so hard at the intimacy of his embrace, she was so sure he would wake up at any moment; but even as she managed to crane her head upwards to steal a look at his face, it was clear he was still out. The rest of his body seemed to continue moving on instinct or its own volition, because his hands began to caress her a little more purposefully. Dull fingernails scratched pleasurably at her scalp, but it was the hand that was currently making its way up and down the curve of her waist that had Rey gasping. She was torn between feeling violated and feeling excited, and if at possible, her face went even hotter when his fingers slipped just barely under the waistband of her shorts. This was crossing the line now.

“Ben,” she whispered, voice breaking in her desperation. When the hand started to drift lower, Rey bucked against his hold. “Ben, stop!”

His hands froze and he eased his hold on her body, and she took the opportunity to try to lift herself. But a moment later, she found herself rolling onto the hard tile while he scrambled away from her, his back hitting the side of the bed. His eyes were still hazy from drunkenness, but he stared at her with a fiery intensity.

“Who are-,” he began to ask, but she rolled her eyes and got to her feet shakily, turning away from him. As far as she was concerned, he could find his own way into bed now…

Except that Ben was clearly much drunker than she’d anticipated, and the moment she turned her back on him, he hopped onto his feet and clamped that same mischievous hand around her right wrist to stop her. It was unfortunate that he’d already pushed her to a breaking point, because she could not even think of stopping herself when instinct kicked in.

Rey flattened her hand against the underside of his forearm, then twisted until her own fingers now gripped his large wrist. Her left arm whipped out and gripped the empty belt loop of his cargo shorts, and she yanked back as hard as she could, turning his hips clockwise. At the same time, she brought up a knee against his flank and dropped her weight forward to force him face down onto the bed while she twisted the captured wrist up behind him. He was now pinned to the mattress with his arm bent unnaturally backwards, completely at her mercy.

“Don’t you ever grab me like that again!” she growled out, ignoring his sharp yelp of pain as she inched his arm even further upwards to really send her message home. Then, after a few moments of letting him squirm, Rey released him, taking a few precautionary steps back. Ben flopped on his back still halfway on the bed, rubbing his abused shoulder as he panted and stared at her. Rey was more than prepared to either run or defend herself, and she’d already decided on at least two knickknacks that would make useful weapons if it came to that.

Instead, she found herself caught in the awed, almost reverent stare of Ben Solo from his prone position. It might have been her imagination, but Rey could’ve sworn she saw one corner of his full, flushed lips twitch upwards. Then he was shaking his head and climbing onto the bed, never taking his eyes off of her. Cautiously, Rey moved towards the hall door, and he finally broke out of whatever trance he was under to pass out face first in a diagonal across the bed. She paused, waiting until she heard the telltale heavy breathing to confirm he was truly asleep before continuing out of the room.

As she shut the door behind her, she let out a whoosh of relieved breath and pressed her back against the painted wood, fighting the urge to slide down. Her stomach growled then, reminding her it had gone more than a day without food, and she descended the stairs unsteadily to the kitchen. She was grateful to have something neutral to focus on, but her hands still shook as she dug through the fully stocked fridge. It took her a long time to finally decide that it was pointless, and probably dangerous, for her to try to cook right now. She wasn’t all that great with a stove to begin with. But she was a master of the microwave, and she was practically drooling at the thought of a cup or two of instant noodles.

Out of curiosity, she opened a few cabinets while waiting for her food, grinning when she found a sterling silver serving tray. With her noodles ready and a tall glass of orange juice freshly poured, she carried her breakfast out to the pool area, carefully sidestepping the splintered legs of an Adirondack chair. On the far left, there was an open sided cabana draped with a sky blue canvas, and in the center sat a rustically whitewashed picnic table. She set down the tray and took a moment to enjoy what little view the fog allowed before sitting down.

Rey ate happily as she stared down at the sandy beach that lay just past the pool area, listening to the waves lap lazily at the shore. It was so quiet; the very lack of sound was almost deafening, and she felt a sense of paranoia start to wash over her as she glanced over her shoulders, half convinced someone was creeping up behind her while her guard was down. But a quick scan showed she was still very much alone, and she went back to eating a little more comfortably. When she was finally full, she went back to the kitchen for a glass of water, and found herself wondering if maybe she should leave one for Ben on the nightstand. She remembered how parched she had been yesterday morning with her own hangover. But a glance at her wrist made her frown and she realized the last thing she wanted to do was go back into that room where he could ambush her. He could get his own damn water.

She walked back past the pool and down the small trail to the beach, setting the glass into the sand before stepping into the water. It was warm, but still a relief from the still and balmy air. She watched entranced as the waves washed over her feet, and giggled as she felt herself sink ever so slightly. Before long they were fully covered, and she freed them and let the process start all over again. After her toes began to prune, she retired to the swinging bench that stood beneath a tall cluster of palms and just stared out at the grey expanse, slowly draining her glass.

But as hard as she tried to empty her mind, Rey could not fend off the memory of what had happened upstairs in the guest room. She could still feel his skin against hers, feel the intimate caresses of his hands, the possessive grip on her body. She’d felt small and vulnerable-after all, Ben was ridiculously built, probably two or three times her size. He was naturally intimidating, and after witnessing his tantrum last night, she had every right to be wary of him. And yet…those hands. They were immense and strong, had the potential to tear her apart if he set his mind to it; instead, he had touched her carefully, _lovingly_. It then occurred to her why she had started crying in his arms. It wasn’t out of fear or helplessness.

It was because that was the first time Rey had ever been held like a lover, and it had felt like an awakening.

All throughout her life, she’d been leered at, groped or touched against her will, starting long before she’d ever shown a single curve of femininity. For a few years, she’d even passed herself off a boy, but even that wasn’t enough to keep eager, lustful hands and eyes from her young body. There were a few instances when she was sure someone would rip that very last shred of innocence from her, but somehow, just the thought of it always awarded her with the strength needed to slip away. Still, the damage had been done-never once had she had a positive intimate experience, not even on one of her very few dates Finn or Jessika managed to set up for her. The furthest she’d allowed anyone to go was a brief hug or kiss on the cheek. Never anything more, never anything meaningful. Never anything like what Ben had done…

He’d obviously mistaken her for someone else, there was no doubt about that. Still, even if it hadn’t been meant for her, Rey couldn’t deny there was some part of her that had liked it. She had liked the feel of his strong arms wrapped around her, had like the tender touch of hands that were capable of so much violence. In that moment, Rey had felt precious, but not like when Finn held her-no this was something entirely different. It was a revelation, like a door in her mind had opened to the possibility that someday, she might not mind being the intended recipient of such a touch meant for her.

As she took her final sip of water, she sighed as she realized the power was not going to resurrect itself, and Ben certainly wasn’t going to be any help. She took care to rinse her feet before stepping back into the house, making a beeline for the pantry. But even after she’d replaced all of the fuses, the house still remained dark, leaving only one culprit responsible for the outage-the solar system. She remembered Captain Lor had mentioned it was near the guest house. So with the flashlight in tow, Rey walked through the shadowy foyer and down the front steps, heading towards the structure several yards away. She rolled her eyes at the furniture lying in disarray on the sand beside the path, then spared a glance up at the second floor where the doors to her room were still open and dark. She walked a little slower, part of her worried and wondering if she should check on him. He’d had a lot to drink last night if that bottle was any indication. But she rubbed absently at her wrist and turned away, pursing her lips in renewed indignation. He hadn't left a bruise and the joint didn't hurt, but the principal of what he'd done still rankled her. She wasn’t here to play nursemaid to some spoiled rich boy. If he choked on his own vomit, then that was his own fault. It was enough that she was about to work during her own vacation.

The guest house was large, and her studio would easily fit inside of just the living room she saw as she peered through the glass. Unfortunately, Captain Lor hadn’t left her a key for the front door, so she couldn’t explore. But she thanked the universe when she found the solar room easily accessible on the far side of the structure. Just as she was about to step inside, something strange caught Rey’s eye. She stopped and looked to her right, staring at some strange patterns in the sand very close to the base of the solar panels. It looked as though there were lines etched into a wide swath of the ground, just slightly darker than the surrounding sand. Leaning over, she absently thought it looked a bit like someone had drawn hundreds of interlocking lines, resembling tree roots or branches.

“That is so weird,” she muttered, suddenly glancing around her. Had someone landed on the island to play some creepy practical joke on her? And if so, were they still here?

She stood and slapped her cheeks lightly with both hands, bringing herself back to reality. She was being ridiculous now, it was just some weird pattern formed by the wind and there was nothing to be afraid of and too much to do to worry anyhow. She felt her brain shifting gears just like it did every time Mr. Plutt would hand her a new box of electronics to be fixed. Solar was all new to her, but she wasn’t worried. Nothing stayed broken under her watch for long. She grinned proudly as she stepped into the shed, cracking her knuckles, ready for the challenge.

But three hours later, Rey found herself standing in front of a completely destroyed solar panel, her arms dangling helplessly at her side. She cursed her distracted mind for not thinking to check this first before wasting her time inside the control room, confused as to why nothing she tried was working.

“Bloody thing is crispy,” she mumbled, taking a closer look at the fried panel.

Ben had been right, the lightning had struck it last night. Rey knew she was good, but she wasn’t _this_ good-it had to be replaced. Still, it wasn’t all hopeless-there was still the backup generator Captain Lor had mentioned. And that was something she could easily work on. She started back to the control room, and was only a step inside before she realized the generator wasn’t anywhere in sight. Instead, there was a large, empty space where one might have recently sat judging from the rectangle of dust and sand on the concrete. Yet another thing she had missed.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” She cried out, ready to throw the flashlight against the wall in frustration. “How does a generator just disappear?”

“It doesn’t,” a deep voice suddenly called out from behind her.

Rey screamed and threw the flashlight at the intruder instead. Ben just barely dodged out of the way to avoid yet another head injury, and his glare turned icy cold as he stomped towards her.

“Seriously?”

“You snuck up on me!”

“Why are you so jumpy? Afraid I’d catch you in the act?”

She opened her mouth to retort, but stopped and looked at him in confusion. But he seemed very sure of what he’d just said, and he eyed her suspiciously, just like he’d done last night before he’d ranted out that ridiculous accusation of her being a spy.

“What are you talking about?”

“You think I’m going to believe this is some coincidence? You lurking around outside my father’s office pretending you’re trying to get the power back on?” he sneered, taking yet another step that forced her back against the wall. “You’re just trying to figure out a way to break in, don’t lie-,”

“I am about ten seconds from losing my cool right now, so you need to back off, literally,” Rey said as softly and calmly as she could.

While she would rather not get violent with him again, she wasn’t going to hesitate to defend herself either. Mentally, she started to count down, taking deep gulping breaths as she stared defiantly into his eyes. He was so close, she could still smell the rum on his breath, could see the blown pupils of his eyes and her own reflection in them. Her face was a mask of stone and she narrowed her eyes and leaned towards him as she whispered

“Five…four…,”

She was genuinely shocked when he turned away from her, his hands tangling in his hair as he growled loudly. While the situation was still tense, she felt herself relax just enough to breathe normally.

“You,” Ben spat as he began to pace the small room, “You are so _frustrating_! Just give it up, I already know why you’re here! Stop playing this game!”

“And I told you, I’m not playing at anything! I’m here to house sit! I had no idea you would be here-I didn’t even know you existed until yesterday!”

“You really expect me to believe that you work for my father and _don’t_ know who I am?”

“Yes, I do! Because that’s the truth! I’ve never even spoken to your father! I’m just an intern, I don’t exactly get invited out to lunch with him-,”

“But you get invited to stay on his island unsupervised, right, that makes a lot more sense!”

She huffed at his sarcasm, clenching her fists.

“Do I have to repeat everything? I’m filling in for Poe Dameron, the man who usually house sits, the man your father treats like a son, and might as well seeing as how you’re obviously not much of one-,”

“Shut up,” Ben said suddenly, his voice quietly dangerous. The air grew thick and tense, and Rey suddenly felt very afraid of the way he was staring at her. His eyes were filled with a wild madness she’d only ever seen in her worst confrontations as a child, and since then, only in nightmares. She swallowed hard and took a step backwards as he advanced, but found herself hitting the wall again. She had nowhere to go, and any tools that might be used to defend herself were out of reach.

“You don’t know anything about me,” Ben said through clenched teeth. “You have no idea…,”

“I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that,” she stammered out, realizing there was no escape other than through words. “Please stop. You’re scaring me.”

Ben flinched at that, and the madness evaporated from his eyes, replaced with some indefinable emotion. He had to be seeing himself from her eyes now: a girl less than half his size, backed into a dark corner on a remote island by a huge, enraged stranger. He raised his hands and hunched his shoulders in that way that seemed to make him smaller, and he took a few calculated steps back.

“I’m not going to hurt you. Don’t be afraid of me. You can go-,” he started to step away from the door, but she shook her head.

“I want you to leave first.”

“Ok, fair enough.”

Without another word, Ben turned and walked out of the control room and then a few more yards further before turning back to her. He looked sullen, like a puppy who’d just been banished from his master’s lap-but she was giving no quarter, not after the lines he’d crossed today. She took a few cautious steps towards the toolbox, grabbing the longest flathead screwdriver she could find.

“Where’s the generator?” She demanded, hating the shakiness of her voice.

“At the main house.”

“Captain Lor said it was _here_ -,”

“He couldn’t have, he’s the one who installed it on the veranda.”

“Take me to it.”

She didn’t give him a chance to argue, and he showed no sign of wanting to fight anyway. He turned and started back towards the house, glancing over his shoulder every few moments as if to make sure she was following. Once on the veranda, Ben turned and led her to the far right side of the house, and sure enough, the large backup generator was there in all its glory. Rey could’ve cried with relief, but she wasn’t going to show another ounce of weakness in front of him. She knelt down and started to inspect the housing, looking for damage as well as how to remove it.

“So…you really know how to fix it?”

She ignored him at first, but when he showed no signs of leaving, she shot him a dark look that made him purse his lips in that pitiful way again. Rey was still angry, still enraged that he’d reduced her to such a fearful state back in the control room. But he was at least behaving now, and she was starting to see she wouldn’t be able to remove the housing on her own.

“If you’re going to supervise me, you might as well help me,” she muttered dejectedly. “I need the other tools. I left them back in the control room.”

He was more than eager to fetch what she needed, and he was even conscientious enough to announce himself when he returned behind her. After he’d placed everything within her reach, he retreated again to give her more space, leaning against the railing and folding his hands in front of him, as if to reassure her by restraining himself and staying in her line of sight. There was an awkward silence as she starting removing screws, lining them up neatly on the windowsill above the generator.

“So, what do you do? As an intern, I mean? “

“I need you to lift this panel,” she replied, completely ignoring his question. He did as she asked, then started to walk back to the railing. “Sit.”

He stared down at her emotionless face, then at her hand that was gesturing to the floor a few feet away from here.

“I can't do this by myself,” she said plainly, turning back to her task, and back to ignoring him.

Finally, Ben took a seat, folding his ridiculously long legs beneath him. She was glad he'd decided to at least put a damn shirt on, because she would not have been able to take the distraction; no matter how much she disliked him, that torso was still a work of art. As she removed more screws, he held out his hand to take them, and she took care not let his skin touch hers. The last thing she needed was another flashback from his drunken embrace. She could see him staring at her from the corner of her eye, but when she turned to glance at him, his eyes darted towards her hands, pretending he’d only been watching her work. After he'd done it a few more times, she decided it might be in her best interest to defuse the tension.

“I do copy, or at least I'm learning to. My internship just started last May.”

He nodded thoughtfully, catching another screw she dropped into his outstretched palm.

“You must've had an impressive interview if they hired you without experience.”

Rey paused and looked at him, wondering if he was stating that out of suspicion or praise.

“Someone put in a good word for me.”

“So you already knew someone there-,” he started to ask, the corner of his mouth turning up in triumph, as if he'd caught her in a lie. But she huffed and just glared at him, tired of the interrogation.

“Someone knew _me_. I used to be the janitor. And if you want, you can go call HR to confirm that I was cleaning toilets and emptying rubbish bins for almost two years. Seems like an awfully long con doesn't it? Maybe I'm just that committed? Clearly I have nothing better to do with my life than to throw away a few years on the off chance that someone will send me to Mr. Solo’s private island paradise so I can spy on his absolutely insufferable brat! Am I getting this straight?”

Whatever smirk had been forming on his face disappeared while she spoke, and he’d turned away with flushed cheeks halfway through.

“You're not as clever as you think you are,” she snapped, reaching over to drop another screw into his shaking hand. “You're not going to catch me in a lie, because there _is_ no lie. I'm here to house sit, and that's only because my best friend is dating Poe and wanted me to have a proper vacation for the first time in my life. I got lucky. And I get paid for it, too. So yes, there is three thousand dollars in my bag-which by the way, you had no right to go through!”

Ben bowed his head even further, and she could see him biting his bottom lip. She wasn't tell if he was angry and trying not to yell at her, but she wasn't finished yet, and gave him no chance to speak.

“I am sorry for whatever happened to you in the past, whoever used you to get to your parents, but that's not who I am, so stop taking it out on me. Stop accusing me! There is no conspiracy here! I'm not Baz-,”

“What did you say? “ He asked suddenly, his fist clenching tightly. “How do you know that name?”

“You said it earlier,” she replied, her voice a little softer now. “You…you thought I was her.”

After a long pause, he turned to look at her, and the heartbreak was apparent in his eyes again.

“What else did I say?”

“Nothing. It's not what you said. It's what you did.”

His jaw went slack and she could see the confusion coming over his face as he struggled to remember. She sighed and looked away bashfully.

“I was trying to get you on the bed and you grabbed me. You, um…you held me. Started _touching_ me-,”

He suddenly and wordlessly stood, dropping the screws.

“Hey!” she cried out as they scattered across the planks, but he ignored her and stormed away back to the front of the house. As she started to collect them, she heard the door slam open and shut. There was a series of dull thuds and another door slamming upstairs, followed by utter silence.

Rey sat in shock for a little while, slowly composing herself, wondering what exactly Ben had to be angry about when she was the one he'd practically molested this morning. He was so confusing. She was starting to wish the fog would finally lift so she could get off this cursed island. As much as she wanted to stay, it meant being alone with him; and she'd rather kiss Mr. Plutt than have to deal with the temperamental mess that was Ben Solo for another minute.

An hour later, she was reconnecting a loose wire that had prevented the generator from kicking in when the solar system was fried. Though she was still angry that Ben had abandoned her to do everything alone, she was also glad for the solitude. She preferred to work in peace, and _not_ having someone accusing her of espionage every two minutes had soothed her nerves. Replacing the housing was a struggle, but it wasn’t the first time she’d lifted something heavier than herself. After the last screw was in, she hit the manual ignition and yelped excitedly as it roared to life. She could see a few lights flicker on inside, and a moment later, the window to Ben’s room was also illuminated. But she heard no telltale sounds of him coming downstairs, which was another relief in itself. She hopped back to the control room to put the tools away, then made a beeline for the house, taking the stairs as quietly as possible. Once safely in her room, Rey dialed Finn’s cell number from memory, hoping against hope that he would answer.

“Hello?”

“Finn, it’s me!”

“Peanut? Are you ok? I’ve been calling since yesterday-,”

“I’m fine,” she said quickly, her heart racing as she heard the concern in his voice. Even after all these years, she still wasn’t used to it.

“I saw on the news there was some crazy storm down there, and I was so worried about you! What happened? Why didn’t you call?”

“The power was out, I just fixed the generator. I’m sorry, I would’ve called if I could.”

She heard him sigh and excuse himself from whatever situation she’d caught him in the middle of.

“Sweetheart, do you remember calling me?”

She swallowed hard and felt her cheeks flush. She started to shake her head, but remembered he couldn’t see him.

“Not really, no. Finn, what did I say?”

“Oh peanut,” he chuckled softly, and she couldn’t help but join him. “You were so wasted! Exactly the kind of call I was hoping to get.”

“I didn’t say anything stupid, did I?”

“No more than usual-,”

“Finn!”

“I’m kidding!” he cried defensively, and they shared another laugh.

“Seriously, what was I saying?”

He paused and she rolled his eyes. There was no doubt he was dragging this out just to torture here.

“You said I was right. I wish I’d been recording it, Rey, I would’ve played that over and over again once you got home.”

“What? What did I mean?” she asked, ignoring his gloat.

“That I was right about you being lonely. You said it was my fault you were crying, as expected. That when you came in that morning, you were about to tell me off, because I’d made you think about things you couldn’t have.”

Rey was quiet for a few moments, completely embarrassed.

“Hey, don’t get shy on me now. You know I never judge you.”

“I know,” she whispered, then sighed and glanced towards the doorway, almost certain she’d just heard a door opening. Sure enough, there was a brief shadow from the hallway and heavy footsteps on the stairs. She was quiet until they’d faded away, then flinched when she heard a clicking noise from Finn’s side of the line.

“You still there?” He asked nervously

“Yeah, wonky connection.”

“So what have you been up to other than getting wasted on Mom and Dad’s wine cabinet? Climb any trees yet?”

“Oh Finn,” she laughed, knowing he was going to really get a kick out of her adventure so far. “I have so much to tell you.”

They were on the phone for another hour, most of it filled with Finn’s laughter at her absolute misfortune. He knew precious little about Ben, only a few grumblings from Poe that echoed Captain Lor’s statement about him exiling himself from the family. But what he did have to offer only confirmed her earlier suspicions about the woman she’d been mistaken for, just one of several con artists either after the family fortune or their juicy secrets. Apparently Baz and Ben had dated for a little over a year, and the whole thing had been a lie from the very beginning. She’d been selling trade secrets to a competitor, as well as personal information about the Solos to tabloids.

“It wasn’t until he proposed to her that she finally admitted she was a spy for First Order Publishing. Broke up with him and disappeared back to whatever hellhole she crawled out of. That was sometime last year.”

“That’s awful…how could anyone do that? Just live a complete lie, let someone fall in love with you and then…just _break_ them? Even if I was back on the streets starving again, I would never-it’s just so awful.”

“Money does strange things to a person, Peanut. Not everyone is as sweet as you and me.”

Now Rey sat in quiet contemplation in bed, staring at the ceiling fan making lazy circles. While nothing excused Ben’s actions towards her, things were starting to make a lot more sense. Of course he would be suspicious of her. After falling so hard for someone only to discover she was using him from the moment they’d met-that had to cross more than a few wires in a person’s brain. So him arriving at the island to find her half naked, well that just screamed conspiracy. But that wasn’t the only thing concerning her.

Rey could not for the life of her figure out why she hadn’t told Finn about the touching. She hadn’t said a word about both times he’d grabbed her, or the embrace on the floor-she hadn’t even given him a hint that she was at all intimidated by him. Instead, she’d just told a clean, more humorous version of the past two days. It was like another side of her had started speaking and made the decision against her better judgement. But the more she thought about it, the more it started to make sense why her subconscious had hijacked her mouth: if Finn had any idea she was even the slightest bit afraid of Ben Solo, he would’ve been on a plane heading down to rescue her before she could even say no. And even though only an hour ago she’d been planning on leaving, the mansion had again worked its charm on her. She wanted to stay, no matter who she had to suffer with.

She wasn’t sure how long she’d lain there sorting through the information she’d learned, but eventually, her stomach began to growl again, and she could see the beginnings of the sunset from the open French doors. She could only hope that Ben had gone back to his room, though she hadn’t heard his footsteps on the stairs again. After warring with herself a few minutes, she decided it wouldn’t be the end of the world to see him again, and cooking up some more noodles for dinner would only take a few minutes anyway. But the second she opened the door, her nose was assaulted by the most delicious of scents and she found her mouth starting to water. She made her way down the stairs cautiously, hearing faint sounds of movement from the kitchen. A slight pause was enough to steel her nerves before she rounded the corner, but she stopped short at the sight that met her.

Ben was standing in front of the stove, and from the motion of his arm, he was slowly stirring something. She felt incredibly awkward now; how was she supposed to make her dinner when he was blocking the microwave?

He seemed to realize suddenly that he was not alone, and he turned halfway to look at her.

“Hi,” he said cautiously, no doubt noticing the trepidation on her face.

She nodded in response, willing herself to be nonchalant and failing miserably as her legs refused to move. He set down a wooden spoon and turned fully towards her, motioning for her to sit at the island. Only then did she notice a glass of red wine sitting out in beside an empty teal blue plate. It was very clear then that he was cooking for more than just himself.

“It’s almost ready. Have a seat.”

Rey still hesitated, her instincts blaring. This wouldn’t be the first time someone had used food to lure her into a vulnerable position. But when Ben wordlessly turned back to the stove, she mentally silenced her alarms and took careful steps towards the stool, pulling it out slowly while she watched him for any sudden movements.

“What are you making?”

“Cabonara,” he said plainly, and she frowned, not understanding. He glanced over his shoulder when she didn’t reply. “You don’t like it?”

“I’ve never had it,” she replied honestly. “But it smells wonderful.”

“My grandmother taught me how to make it. It’s her specialty. I’m not too bad at it.”

She wasn’t sure how to respond, so she just lifted the glass, and just by the scent she could tell it was the same wine that had gotten her into trouble the first night. A somewhat comfortable silence fell over then, and she simply watched him move about, straining pasta, slicing seared chicken breast, and stirring a creamy looking sauce. He moved with a confidence that she envied, and she took a sip of wine to hide her frown as he glanced at her again.

“Could you hand me that plate?”

She could see her own hand shaking as she leaned over the island to comply, mentally noticing how his seemed to dwarf the plate. He carefully filled it with whatever delicacy he’d conjured up, then took a step to walk around the island before stopping short. He seemed to think for a moment, then reached back over the island to hand it to her, clearly deciding not to actually approach her.

“Here you go.”

Rey took it gratefully, her eyes wide as the sight and smell of the dish filled her senses. She hardly noticed he had turned away again to fill another plate until he was pulling out a stool for himself from the far end of the kitchen island.

“Be careful, it’s hot-,” he started to warn, but Rey had already brought a forkful to her lips and was wincing as she burned the roof of her mouth. But she let out a small groan of absolute pleasure at the taste flooding her mouth. She chewed slowly before swallowing and turning to him with a look of disbelief.

“Good?”

She nodded enthusiastically, then took another, more careful bite. From the corner of her eye, she could see him smile and set into his own dinner. Again, it was quiet, but it was far less tense than when she’d first walked in. Slowly, but surely, she started to relax as it was apparent that he wasn’t going to use this opportunity to accuse her of anything.

“You’ve really never had this?”

His question was sudden, and she nearly choked in surprise. After taking a second to compose herself, she turned to him bashfully.

“No, never. I don’t really go out much… or cook.”

He didn’t react, his face still a mostly blank slate. But his eyes were a different story. They were so expressive, and she wondered if he knew how much they gave away. Right now she could see that he was a bit excited, maybe a little proud of himself.

“Another first for you, then.”

Rey nodded, taking another happy mouthful of pasta, trying hard to also bite back her grin. Finn liked to cook for her on the off night whenever he convinced her to come over to his apartment, but he was nearly as hopeless as she was in the kitchen. She found herself wondering what else Ben was capable of making.

“I kind of lied though,” he said suddenly, and she froze, unsure where this was going. “It wasn’t really my grandmother who taught me. She died before I was born. It was Maz, our housekeeper. She was this tiny, bawdy, absolutely ancient woman that never stopped working. She just always sort of fit that grandmotherly role to me.”

“Oh, is she…still around?” She asked as tactfully as possible.

“Of course. She’ll probably be around for another thousand years. She owns a bar in Old Key West now.”

“Do you see her often?”

“Not as much as I should. That’s kind of _my_ specialty,” Ben quipped, and Rey wondered just how many inside jokes he had with himself.

“I see,” she replied, unable to think of anything else to say.

“Thank you for getting the power back on,” he said quietly, his voice subdued and somewhat troubled. “I’m sorry I wasn’t much help. I’ve never been mechanically inclined… like my father.”

“Oh, um, you’re welcome,” she stammered, caught off guard by the sudden platitude. “I’m pretty good at fixing things.”

He nodded in agreement, his eyebrows slightly raised. She barely caught the social cue he was giving, that he wanted her to elaborate. But she found herself tongue-tied and stayed silent.

“Where did you learn to fix a generator?” He prompted, as if he could sense her uncertainty.

“I…I learned on my own. Trial and error,” she said vaguely, and she could see the corner of his mouth twist wryly.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“You sure this isn’t another interrogation?” she snapped suddenly, surprising the both of them. Her jaw dropped as she glanced over at him, but found his eyes drifting away as he nodded.

“I deserved that,” he replied quietly, then took another bite. He chewed thoughtfully before looking back at her. “I’m not great with apologies. I hope this is a start, at least.”

As he gestured with his fork, Rey understood that he’d made dinner with a side of atonement. Well, he’d definitely chosen the right avenue.

“So far, so good,” she found herself saying coyly with no idea where the words had come from. But his full lips twitched into a half smile and he nodded again.

“Well, that’s reassuring.”

A profoundly comfortable silence passed over them as they finished dinner together. Rey noticed he hadn’t poured any wine for himself, but wasn’t surprised. After the night he’d had, alcohol was probably the last thing he wanted. But now that her plate was all but licked clean, she wasn’t sure what came next. Did he speak first? Did she?

“Two weeks, right? That’s how long you’re supposed to be here?”

She was relieved that he’d taken the first step, but didn’t quite follow where he was going with this. But she nodded all the same, noticing he had started to grow nervous.

“Well then, I’ll be moving into the guest house tonight. You can have the house to yourself.”

Rey was beyond shocked, and wished dearly that he’d look at her so she could search his eyes for the truth. There was no way he was serious about this.

“I think it’s only right. You came out here to do a job, and so did I. I need solitude, and it’s not fair for me to just kick you out. I think we can stay out of each other’s hair for two weeks.”

Rey could not believe what she was hearing. She’d been wracking her brain for arguments to keep herself on the island for at least a few more days, and here Jerk Solo was offering her even more than she could have hoped for.

“Are you…are you sure? I can always go to the guest house if you want. I mean, this is _your_ home.”

“It’s not a problem. I likely would’ve ended up in there anyway. It’s the only place with an internet connection.”

“Oh. Well, as long as I’m not bothering you-,”

“You’re not,” he said softly, and it seemed like he was trying hard not to look at her. “Just don’t expect me to carry you anywhere if you pass out again.”

His eyes finally did shoot to hers when she laughed, and she clamped a hand over her mouth at the outburst, her cheeks flushing in embarrassment. But when he smiled in earnest, she found it hard to resist joining him.

“More wine?” he asked in a kind tone that had her letting the last of her awkwardness fading. When she nodded, he fetched the bottle and stood as far as he comfortably could to pour it for her. All of his cautiousness was not lost on her. It was clear that he was trying hard to make up for the discomfort he’d caused…well, since she’d met him.

“Thank you,” she said softly, watching as he quickly withdrew himself back to his stool. He didn’t meet her eyes as she took another sip, instead glanced beyond her thoughtfully.

“You can still catch the sunset if you hurry. Sorry… um, sorry there’s nowhere to sit.”

“Oh I wasn’t using that furniture anyway. The railing works just fine,” she joked, but it was a bit halfhearted. She’d almost forgotten about that tantrum. Could this really be the same man? His distinct features and the sharp bruise cutting his face in half assured her that it physically was. And yet now there was a softness to Ben that she’d only glimpsed a few times since meeting him. It was in his dark eyes, the hunched posture of his shoulders, the pout of his lips, even the tone of his voice. If only he’d been like this from the start-

“I should clean up first,” she blurted suddenly, cutting off her own impossible train of thought. He shook his head and raised up a hand dismissively.

“I’ll do it, I made the mess. Go on. Go enjoy your vacation. You’ve wasted enough of it with me anyway.”

Finally, he met her eyes and the turmoil she saw there had her reeling. She felt herself go breathless by the depth of sorrow in those dark eyes as they searched hers. Ben wanted something, but it was clear he had no idea how to ask for it, and she hadn’t the slightest idea what it could be.

“Thank you. Dinner was lovely,” she said softly, needing to break the heavy silence somehow. And before she could stop herself, she found her next words tumbling out in a breathy whisper. “So was the company.”

A slight flush formed on his cheeks and he didn’t respond, instead rising from the stool with a faint nod before he walked towards the sink. Rey found herself watching him as he started to run the tap, but eventually, she did make her way back upstairs. She hopped up onto the banister just in time to watch the sun softly kiss the horizon. As amazed as she was by the postcard perfect view of the sunset, she was lost in thought over the enigma that was Ben Solo. Somehow, in the span of a few hours, he had accepted the fact that she wasn’t here as part of some new conspiracy to undermine his family. She wasn’t sure what she’d said or done to make him believe her, but she was thankful that he’d relented at last. And now he was giving her exactly what she’d been planning to ask of him. It was too perfect. She was certain it would all come crashing down soon enough-but in the meantime, she was going to enjoy every moment she had on the island.

Just as she was about to head back inside, she heard the front door open and close, then watched as Ben walked out across the sand, suitcase in one hand, guitar in the other. He seemed to sense she was watching, and he paused a moment, looking up at her with that puppy dog expression that was starting to drive her crazy.

“Goodnight Rey.”

She raised her hand and tried her hardest to open her mouth to reply in kind, but he was already turning back to follow the path to the guest house and when she finally found her voice, he had already disappeared behind a cluster of palms.

“Goodnight Ben,” she whispered to herself, and bit her lip in confusion at the way her heart fluttered at the feel of his name on her lips.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Inspiration Songs:  
> "Beauty and the Beast (Prologue)" - Rhaeide  
> "Fallen From the Sky" -Glen Hansard  
> "A Little Respect"- Carrie Mac
> 
> Giving a shout out to my boyfriend who let me test out Rey's hold-breaking move. You're the best ;)
> 
> Thanks for the kudos and comments, they are a huge esteem boost!
> 
> And as always, thanks for reading!


	4. Murder Mystery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little history lesson from Captain Lor
> 
> A little lesson in making pancakes
> 
> A little leap in the right direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so very, very sorry that I have not posted in FOREVER.  
> For those of you not familiar with me on Tumblr, here's the jist: I have a medical condition call Thoracic Outlet Syndrome that is affecting my hands and it takes me a ridiculously long time to type. I have dropped out of the Reylo Anthology project because of it (though I hope to finish and post that fic here...eventually).  
> However I WILL 100% finish this story, it will just take a little longer than I had hoped. Please bear with me :)

The next morning broke with a clear sky and the unbearable humidity was finally alleviated by a now constant ocean breeze. Rey was lying drowsily on a towel on the beach, contemplating when she should turn over to tan the back of her legs. She sat up for a moment and took a long drink of water before stretching, admiring the turquoise ocean that swelled gently before her. It wasn’t long before the siren call worked its magic, and she was up to her knees in crystal clear water before she knew it. After a few minutes, she found herself wading in a little further, the soft waves lapping at the hem of the oversized t-shirt she wore over one of Jessika’s bikinis. Self-consciously, she smoothed the wet fabric over her thighs, glancing back at the shore, relieved to find it still empty. But even if Ben hadn’t been present on the island, she still wasn’t sure if she would’ve felt comfortable without some kind of cover.

Rey had never been entirely confident in her own skin. It stemmed from old habits; when she’d still been living on the streets; more layers meant less she’d have to carry in her duffel bag. Not that she’d had much to carry to begin with-there was very little that she chose to keep during her constant moves, and the moment something had worn out its usefulness, she would toss it and rummage around at a shelter for a replacement garment. She’d been going on twelve the first time she’d picked up a pair of shorts from a church clothing drive, and she was nearly thirteen when she’d finally worn them without a pair of baggy sweatpants beneath. Bare skin meant vulnerability, and showing even a trace of such a thing went against her well-honed instincts. Also, the soft curves of puberty appeared out of nowhere, and she found herself the subject of far too much attention from more than just the pimps. As a result, the shorts had not stayed in her possession for very long.

There were some things she could never quite get herself to part with. The most precious of those had been the doll she’d crudely constructed out of the clothing she’d first left the convent in, just tied strips of fabric that only just resembled a human form. How many nights had she spent pretending that makeshift toy was an actual friend, a companion to spill her innermost desires to on long nights when she was too frightened to sleep? Now, as she let her fingertips brush against the surface of the gently rolling water, she found herself wishing she could speak to anyone about her thoughts, inanimate or not.

Her wish was granted in the strangest way as Captain Lor called her name from the beach behind her.

“Miss Rey!”

She turned quickly in surprise and found him slowly wading out towards her, two beach chairs slung over his bare and rather freckled shoulders. He was clad only in a faded pair of khaki swim shorts and a roughly woven straw hat, looking every bit the seasoned local, surprisingly not as frail as she’d imagined he’d be.

“Ahoy, Captain!” she called out cheerfully as he splashed towards her.

“Glad to see you survived the storm! And your unexpected visitor for that matter.”

“It’s been quite the adventure so far, but everything is fine.”

“Here,” he replied, handing her a chair before unfolding the other and sitting down with the lower half of his body submerged in the ocean. She mimicked his position, but found the water came up to her chest in this depth. The captain noticed right away and stood again to move back towards the shore, a fatherly chuckle escaping his lips.

“Ok short stuff, maybe back here is best for you.”

She rolled her eyes behind her sunglasses, but followed suit. The water now lapped at the base of her stomach, forcing her to pull her t-shirt tight around her waist to keep it from floating up inappropriately.

“Why are you so covered up? Not that I’m being a skeezy old man, but you’re on a beach, honey.”

“I don’t want to burn,” she lied quickly, tugging the t-shirt down to cover her thighs. He seemed to sense her discomfort then.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude. I can leave if-,”

“No!” she said far too quickly for her own liking. “I’m glad you’re here, I was hoping you’d stop by to check on me- _us_.”

The captain didn’t respond, and instead nodded before he tipped his head back with his eyes closed, letting the ocean lift his legs. He was the absolute picture of comfort, and she did her best to follow his example.

“I’m sorry if he’s caused you any trouble. I really didn’t expect to see him anytime soon. But when I saw the boat missing yesterday, I knew a whole different kind of storm had rolled in. Has he been civil?”

“For the most part,” she lied, but didn’t exactly want to get into details either. She was just glad that Ben had completely cleaned up the mess from his tantrum the other night, saving her a very awkward explanation. “He wanted me to leave at first. But I guess he’s had a change of heart. He moved into the guest house last night, said I could stay.”

“Well, that’s even more unexpected,” he murmured to himself. He turned to her with a warm smile. “In a good way.”

“Yeah, well we have an even bigger problem. Lightning hit one of the solar panels, it’s completely fried. I don’t even know what kind of damage it might have caused the whole system. I managed to fix the generator, though.”

“Now that’s a shame,’ he murmured without the slightest tinge of concern or surprise in his voice. “It’ll take a few days for me to get someone out here to replace it. Good thing you were here, I don’t think Ben remembers the difference between a screw and a bolt.”

Rey laughed and leaned back in her chair, adjusting her shirt once again.

“He’s definitely not mechanically inclined. But he’s a great cook, so he’s at least got that going for him!”

When Captain Lor didn’t even make a sound of reaction to her joke, she turned to find him staring at her, his brow knitted in concern.

“He cooked for you?”

“Yes. It was very good. Is that strange?”

“Extremely.”

“Well…he was a bit rude to me before that. Said it was a kind of apology for that.”

“And the plot thickens,” the captain whispered, shaking his head. “Alright, well, that’s an improvement on his part. Maybe he’s finally starting to get some common sense back.”

He said no more, but the comment made Rey wonder if he was referring to the Baz incident, or if it was something even worse.

“Captain…,” she started hesitantly. “Why did you say he exiled himself from the family?”

“I’m afraid that’s a bit of a family secret there, Rey. While I’m obviously quite the chatterbox, that’s one secret I am very literally not allowed to divulge. What with the NDA I signed and all.”

“Oh, I see. That serious?”

“That serious.”

“I’m sorry to pry. He’s just…,” she paused, searching for the right word.

“Confusing?” he offered with a chuckle. “Torn, troubled, _frustrating_?”

“All of those!” she laughed in reply. “Certainly not like anyone I’ve ever known.”

“Well, well. Would that be a compliment or a complaint?”

“A little of both, I suppose,” Rey blushed, wondering what the man was hinting at. “Is there anything you can tell me?”

“I am a veritable family encyclopedia, my dear. Ask away, and if I can tell you, I will.”

She considered the offer for a few moments, watching her knees and feet gently bob with the soft waves. It was hard to decide where to even start.

“You said it felt haunted here-what did you mean by that?”

“I didn’t mean literally, if that’s what you’re afraid of. I meant that some awful things happened here, and I’m surprised you don’t know already.”

“Well, I don’t follow news or tabloids or anything like that. I’m not much for gossip.”

“And yet here you are, asking me for just that,” he replied with a touch of what might be suspicion in his voice. Rey bit her lip, unsure of how to respond. The last thing she wanted was for the captain to start doubting her now. He could easily end this vacation, too.

“Not gossip, Captain. Just the truth. If I’m to stay with him for the next two weeks, I just want to know what subjects to avoid.”

After what felt like eternity, the captain shifted in his chair, sitting up a little straighter.

“Alright, I can see the wisdom in that. I can’t exactly tell you to go look it up for yourself, seeing as Ben’s commandeered the only computer on the island. But you have to give me the truth first, Rey. Because I know you haven’t been honest with me since the ride out here.”

She swallowed hard; she’d been dreading this conversation, but the captain was at least offering her a chance to explain herself instead of flat out accusing her. He seemed reasonable, kind, and he might continue to be sympathetic even knowing she’d lied to him.

“You mean about Poe, right?”

“One point for you. Go on.”

“He’s not coming, obviously I suppose. I’m his replacement. This was a gesture of kindness on his part. My life hasn’t exactly been…easy. I’ve never had a vacation, not even a day off work. So he gave me a chance to come here for just that. Neither of the Solo’s know I’m here. They wouldn’t even know me if you showed them my picture. But I promise you, I’m not a spy, I’m not here for anything else but what we’re doing right now.”

Captain Lor was frustratingly quiet for a few minutes, and the only sound was the gentle lapping of waves against their bodies and the pounding of her own heart.

“You said you’re not a spy. That’s awfully specific.”

“Because that’s what Ben was accusing me of for the past two days. I don’t know how, but I somehow convinced him that I’m not. But I know…I know about Baz. About the other women who tricked him.”

“Your source?”

“Poe’s boyfriend- my best friend. He told me over the phone yesterday. I’m sure you could tell that I didn’t even know about Ben when I came here. I really don’t know much about the family, Captain. I just work for them. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you the truth before, I didn’t know how you’d react. I just really wanted to be here.”

Another weighted silence passed, but Rey did not press him any further. It was clear he was deciding her fate, and she’d said all she could. It was actually a relief to tell him the truth. If that sent her home, well, that was something she could not fault him for.

“Alright. I accept it. You seem like a good person, and if Ben actually trusts you to stay, then I can, too.”

“You have no idea how much that means to me,” she said softly, lowering her sunglasses to look at him. He did the same, and she smiled at the forgiveness she could see in his blue eyes.

“You’re not asking any question that isn’t already public knowledge, so I’ll tell you what I know. Have you ever heard of the name Anakin Skywalker?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“How about Darth Vader?”

Rey’s body went tense, and she sat up quickly.

“The writer?”

“The one and only. I take it you’ve read his work?”

“Just a little. I didn’t get to finish, I had to…,” she paused, not sure if she really wanted to reveal that she’d had to burn her stolen library copy of _The Phantom Menace_ for warmth when she was ten years old. “I lost the book.”

“That’s a pity. It was a great work. One of many. I’m sure there’s a copy in Leia’s library, if you’re interested. She tried to throw his books out a few times, but never had the heart.”

“Why would she even think about doing that?”

“Because Darth Vader was Anakin Skywalker’s pseudonym. And Anakin Skywalker was her father.”

Captain Lor paused for a moment, and a glance over at him told Rey that for some reason, this was a difficult subject for him.

“Anakin Skywalker killed his wife, in this house. Killed her _and_ his best friend because he thought they were having an affair. And when their son came home to find what he’d done, he killed his father.”

Rey’s mind was reeling with the information. His comments about the haunting feel of the house made so much sense now. She glanced back at the house, her skin crawling at the thought of what horrors had happened under that roof.

“I know, it’s a lot to process. It was a secret until some diehard fans figured out Skywalker and Vader were the same man. Now it’s just a dark past that the family tries very hard to separate themselves from. That’s why Leia changed her name to Organa, after the family she lived with after it all happened. They were close friends of her mother. Of course the universe wasn’t done with her, and they died in a boating accident a few years after that. She inherited both fortunes, but that’s no consolation. She’s lost everyone she’s ever loved. I suppose that’s why it took her so long to finally let Han in. At least she’s happy now, for the most part.”

“But what happened to her brother? He killed their father-,”

“He had to,” he interrupted sharply, enough to make her wince. “He had to be stopped.”

“Did he die, too?”

“No,” Captain Lor sighed, tipping his head back. “He ran away. Disappeared out into the world. No one’s ever found a trace of him. He was her twin, you know? They were very close. So she lost him, too.”

“That’s…it’s all so _awful_ ,” Rey whispered, more to herself than to the captain. “When did this happen?”

“A long time ago,” he said wistfully. “About 35 years. Long before you were born, I suppose?”

“By a decade, yes. I didn’t know any of this. I can’t imagine how she could carry on after all of that. I’d have been a mess.”

“Leia has always been…tenacious. Sometimes to a fault. But that’s one of the things I do love the most about her. She never backs down from a challenge.”

Again, there was a strange tone to his voice, and Rey wondered exactly how close the captain and Mrs. Solo actually were. His words of admiration seemed more than just friendly. Maybe he’d had feelings for her in the past?”

“The house was left to ruin after the murders,” he went on as he splashed some water across his chest and neck. “It wasn’t until Mr. Solo insisted on at least looking at it that she ever set foot on the island again. I think she must’ve really missed it because they started fixing it up not long after. Ben pretty much grew up here, went to school on the mainland.”

“And he’s a writer now as well,” she mused. “Does he write fiction, too?

Captain Lor didn’t reply, but shook his head to her surprise.

“We’re getting in NDA territory here, my dear. If he didn’t tell you more than that, neither can I.”

“I’m sorry, you’re right. He only mentioned it. And told me he wrote under a different name. Just like his grandfather, I guess,” she mused, and from the corner of her eye, she could see the captain nodding and staring off into the distance. She decided to change the subject.

“Ben mentioned a woman named Maz, the housekeeper? She lived here, too?”

“Oh old Maz? I’m not surprised he brought her up. No offense to Leia and Han, but she definitely did most of the raising. It takes a lot of time to build an empire, you know. Most of the time it was just her, Ben and Chewie out here. I guess you could call this his ‘happy place’. His parents knew that well, so I guess that’s why they never changed the locks.”

“Do you think they know he’s here now?”

“I doubt it. And they won’t hear it from me either. I never tell them when he shows up. It’s sort of an unspoken agreement. At least I’m assuming it is. Ben doesn’t really talk to me.”

“Why not-,”

“He has his reasons. I can’t say any more than that,” he said quickly, shutting down her question. His sudden change in attitude told Rey the falling out between Ben and his parents might have involved Captain Lor as well. As far as she could tell, he just worked for the family, but maybe she hadn’t been wrong about her suspicion of there being more to his relationship to Mrs. Solo…

A long silence passed between them, but was eventually broken by the sound of a motor starting from a distance. They both turned to see a boat speeding away from the island, barely able to make out a dark haired head at the bow.

“Looks like he’s making his escape to avoid me. I think I’ll go check on the damage to the solar panel.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“No honey, you just relax. I’m the one out here to work, not you,” he said, sounding like himself again. “But you won’t have much of a tan to show off if you keep that shirt on.”

With a playful quirk of his eyebrow, Captain Lor stood and hefted his chair over his shoulder, then splashed his way back to shore, leaving Rey alone with her thoughts. She found herself wanting more information about the murders and subsequent fallout, but she didn’t want to overstep in her newly formed rapport with the captain, or Ben for that matter. And Finn was far too busy throughout the day to be her personal detective. She would just have to wait for the captain to leave, and hopefully Ben would be gone long enough to give her time to slip into the guest house to use the computer there. Her heart fluttered with excitement at the thought of pursuing the mystery, and she grinned at her own daringness. In any other situation, she would just shrug it off as something that was none of her business. But that was before she’d found out about what had happened within the walls of the Solo mansion, the very house she was going to be living in for the next two weeks.

A stronger wave washed over her midsection, lifting the shirt again, but instead of tucking it under her legs, Rey surprised herself by just pulling it off altogether. After all, Finn had made her promise to come back with a tan, hadn’t he?

 

************

Less than an hour later, Rey was finally alone on the island, and the moment the roar of the Captain’s boat died off in the distance, she raced to Mr. Solo’s office. Thankfully, Ben had not locked the doors, probably forgetting in his haste to leave-but of course she could easily have picked the lock if needed. She only took a quick look around in surprise at how Spartan the guest house seemed compared to the splendor of the main house. The furniture was sturdy and efficient, the textures and colors more muted and masculine. A door left ajar in the back left corner led to what she assumed was a bedroom, but she made a beeline for the large wooden desk that took up the majority of the living room. The screen was dark, but the computer tower buzzed and glowed, showing it was still on; a touch of the mouse brought it all to life and almost immediately dashed Rey’s hopes as a login screen appeared.

But she was as adept at using computers as she was at fixing them, and her eye quickly caught sight of the option to use a guest login. She grinned, and her fingers flew over the keys swiftly as she typed in the same guest id and password that she’d been using at the SolOrgana office since her internship had started. Because she wasn’t a full time employee, she’d been granted the default login that would only give her access to the internet, and that was all she needed right now.

“Darth...Vader,” she muttered as she typed her query in the search engine, and chose a simple wiki to get her crash course.

From what she could see, there were only five titles other than _The Phantom Menace_ written under the pseudonym, all of them part of the same series. She could only vaguely recall what she’d read years ago, a story that was part sci-fi, part political drama, but entirely engrossing. That had come to a surprise to Rey, who had never been a fan of fiction prior to picking up the book from her fire kindling stock out of sheer boredom one night. She’d been devastated when she’d had to make the difficult choice between warmth and entertainment after a heavy snowfall had kept her and a few other vagrants trapped in an abandoned warehouse for several days. But life had gone on and she’d completely forgotten about the book in time. She could never have imagined things would have come full circle like this…

The wiki had a link that led to her next query, and she clicked on the name Anakin Skywalker with a renewed excitement. After a brief glance around to make sure Ben wasn’t sneaking up on her, she scrolled through the seemingly endless page of information.

“This is too much,” she whispered in disappointment. There was no way she could read everything without risking Ben walking in on her and ruining the credibility she’d somehow earned the night before.

But Rey was nothing if not a problem solver, and a moment later she was smirking and pressing the print button at the bottom of the page. The printer beside her rumbled to life and efficiently spit out nearly fifteen pages. Then all that was left was to wipe her tracks; she cleared the internet history, logged out the guest id and locked the screen while her heart hammered in her chest. As the machine went silent, Rey’s head jerked up at the distant hum of a boat motor. Swearing to herself, she grabbed the papers and ran full tilt from the guest house, and just as she was closing the door of the main house behind her, the motor stopped and only ocean waves murmured from the shore. She retreated to her room, locking the door behind her even though Ben was most likely going to avoid the main house altogether-but she couldn’t be too careful. All it took was one wrong move and he would be right back to kicking her out again. Still in stealth mode, Rey tiptoed over to the veranda and peeked over just in time to see Ben’s glossy black head of hair bobbing down the path to the guest house. She grinned, feeling triumphant and devious, and took a running leap onto the bed with the pages of a real life murder mystery in tow.

Rey made quick work of the first several pages, all outlining Anakin Skywalker’s childhood. He’d been born a bastard to a single mother woman by the name of Shmi, who never revealed the father’s identity as long as she was alive. But the truth came out after her death through the letters Anakin found hidden beneath her deathbed. Sheev Palpatine was a wealthy entrepreneur from a now non-existent European country, and though his affair with Anakin’s mother had been brief, it had been one of true love, much unlike the arranged marriage he was trapped in. Rey was amazed at the diligence of the people who had put together the wiki. There were scans of ship manifests, customs claims forms, and newspaper clippings, all yellowed with age, and all documenting the many visits Palpatine had paid to the US. These visits had always seemed to coincide with some major event in Anakin’s life, and the unofficial detectives had also unearthed a treasure trove of eerie black and white photos with the same man lurking somewhere in the background. Graduations, military honors ceremonies, even milestone birthday parties-the man was always there, like some silent protector, his eyes always trained on the man who was the son he couldn’t claim.

But even though he came from a poor background and no name, Anakin had been a passionate and determined man, a Byronic figure that lived dangerously and carved out a name for himself during the desperate era of the great Depression. After an impressive career as a Navy pilot, he made his living by writing stories for pulp fiction and dime novels, but it was clear that he longed to be a true American novelist. Rey frowned at the photo scans of multiple rejection letters addressed to Anakin, and a low gasp escaped as she read the name of SolOrgana’s biggest competitor, one of the oldest publishing houses in the country: First Order Publishing.

“Bet they’re still kicking themselves over that one,” Rey whispered to herself, turning excitedly to the next page.

The next few paragraphs outlined how Anakin’s entire life suddenly changed course. A violent mugging left his mother half dead in the streets, and after a few torturous nights clinging to life, she passed away with her son by her side. Anakin, who was well known for his explosive temper, spent the weeks afterwards searching for the murderers, first with the assistance of the police, then on his own. Not long after, bodies of known criminals started appearing in the East River. Some were missing limbs, some just their eyes…Rey found herself swallowing a gag at the sight of a grainy police photo of one of the victims. For a few tense days, New York had found itself wondering if they had the American version of Jack the Ripper roaming their streets. There wasn’t much information about the week he disappeared from public view, and nothing from the crime scenes ever tied Anakin to them, but there were numerous links to theories that claimed to either support or debunk his guilt. Regardless of the modern day detective work, back then, Anakin was never charged or even questioned in conjunction with the murders. The murders ended after a bloody three weeks, and every single one remained unsolved to the present day.

In his grief, Anakin became withdrawn and sequestered himself away in his mother’s home, located in what was now modern day Times Square. His only friend and visitor was a fellow pulp fiction writer and Navy buddy by the name of Mr. Obi-Wan Kenobi. There, taking up the pseudonym of Darth Vader, he churned out his first full length novel, _The Phantom Menace_. But he still found himself rejected by the same publishing houses time and time again. Nearly two years passed until he received any kind of interest, and Anakin was so desperate for publication, he signed the first contract he received without ever having met the head of the unheard of publishing house…located in a now non-existent European country.

“Palpatine?” Rey whispered, and as she read on, she found it confirmed. Anakin’s own father had also been busy in the two years after his wife had passed away, and using funds siphoned from his other, more unsavory ventures, began his own publishing house for what seemed like the sole purpose of introducing himself-and of course, getting his son’s novel distributed in the process.

 _The Phantom Menace_ became an instant success in both America and Europe, and the fame afforded to him because of it led Anakin to meet the heiress of a luxury hotel chain, now defunct. He fell head over heels in love with Padme Amidala, the daughter of a suffragette and a hotel tycoon, who was active in politics and several years older. His youth and temperamental nature did not win him any favor from her at first, but his persistence paid off in the end when they finally married years later.

Rey stared at their wedding photo for a long time. It was small, a simple thumbnail tucked to the side of the paragraph describing their grand wedding, but there was something… _disquieting_ about it. Even in the harsh greyscale printing, she could see the emotion on Anakin’s face as he gazed at his radiantly smiling bride. His eyes were brimming with joy, devotion, and adoration-all things one would expect to read in a groom’s eyes. But there was something unsettling about the grim set of his lips and brow, something that read as possessive, ferocious, and dangerous. She tried to shake the thought from her head; she already knew the end of this story thanks to Captain Lor, and it was just her imagination keying her up for the gruesome final act she knew would be on the last pages. She tried hard to take her time to read about their happy years, about the fraternal twins Padme gave birth to. Leia and her brother Luke looked every bit as close as the Captain had claimed, and there were numerous snapshots of the children side by side, hugging and playing, never suspecting the horror that loomed in their future-

“Alright, take it down a notch,” Rey chided herself, laughing nervously at her own pounding heart as her mind played up the suspense.

Though she wasn’t much of a reader, she was completely engrossed in this story that was truly stranger than fiction. But there was another level to this that made her stomach turn and her hands shake: this was Ben’s grandfather she was reading about. While she’d only known him for a few hours collectively, she was certain she’d seen him at or at least _near_ his worst. His personality was eerily reminiscent of Anakin Skywalker’s and she had no idea what to make of that or how she should feel. All Rey knew was that at the moment, she was glad he’d decided to move into the guest house.

The final two pages were almost completely text, and Rey found herself straightening up to read them, as if steeling herself for what was to come. Halfway through the page, she was glad she had been forewarned.

“Oh….oh my god,” she muttered, her hand coming to her lips in shock.

Anakin’s decline into madness had begun not long after his final volume of the series now known as _Star Wars_ had been published, and his children had left the nest for college in the northern US. Mr. Kenobi had taken up residence in the mansion at the behest of his doctors to soothe his arthritis, and Padme had been glad to have someone to keep her company while Anakin continued to build the publishing empire that would someday become Rey’s own place of employment. There were multiple eyewitness accounts of the happy pair spied around Key West, always seeming just a tad closer than friends might be. And when Anakin was home, many former employees of the island claimed there was a distinct tension between them all, as if the master of the house was an unwelcome guest. To add to it, Palpatine was more than vocal about his distrust of Kenobi, and on his deathbed, swore to Anakin that he would lose everything he had to him-even his wife and children. Paranoia turned into anger, and on a winter night, in the midst of a hurricane, the whole situation came to its bloody end.

No one would ever know the whole story, only the unreliable recounting Anakin had given to his son before his own death. After hours of arguing, Anakin had locked himself and Padme in the master bedroom where he confronted her about the alleged affair with his closest friend. Though she denied it with all her heart, he could not be convinced otherwise, and was driven all the more mad when Kenobi tried to break down the door to intervene. His hands somehow found their way to Padme’s neck, and mere moments later, she was lifeless in his hands. Kenobi did succeed in breaking down the door with a decorative sword, but it was too late-Padme was dead. In anger, Anakin had then attached Kenobi, who broke not only one of his wrists, but both of his murderous friend’s legs just trying to protect himself. But pure madness gave Anakin strength and he wrestled the sword from Obi Wan and killed him as well.

Anakin had then laid there for two days in the room with the bodies of the love of his life and his dearest friend, his own body broken and bleeding as the hurricane raged outside. When it calmed, his son Luke arrived, worried that he hadn’t gotten any response from his parents after calling day and night. When he’d walked into that room, Anakin had been crazed and hallucinating, still screaming at the bodies of the people he believed had betrayed him, and on seeing his son, decided he was in on it and attempted to kill him as well. During the struggle, Luke ended up stabbing his father through with that same sword, and as he lay dying, some sanity flowed back into his father, who told him the broken narrative of what had transpired. Not long after repeating the story to the police, Luke disappeared, just like Captain Lor had said.

The final paragraph teetered off into a summary of some conspiracy theories about what really happened, as well as alleged sightings of Luke Skywalker, but Rey lowered the page as her eyes caught on a very familiar picture, taking a deep breath as she returned to reality. The Captain hadn’t gone and said so, but there was no mistaking the view from the window in the photo of the crime scene. Rey was staying in the room where three people had died.

“At least that’s not horrifying or anything,” she muttered, fighting the shivers that danced up her spine as she looked around, half expecting some ghoulish apparition of the scene to suddenly manifest before her eyes.

Then out of nowhere came a soft knock at the door, and Rey let out a muffled shriek and nearly fell backwards off the bed as Ben Solo called her name from the hall.

“Rey? You ok in there?”

Her heart pounded in her throat, preventing her from letting out more than a simple, squeaking ‘yes’; but her breath stopped altogether when she saw the doorknob start to turn. The world seemed to go in slow motion as she watched it, terrified of what he might suspect if he found it locked. She was so certain he’d know she was hiding something. And what if he got angry? What if he kicked in the door and found her surrounded by the evidence of her snooping into his family history? What if he-

“Oh God, I’m sorry,” he said softly, quickly letting the doorknob go slack before ever discovering it was locked. “Bad habit! Sorry!”

Rey sat dumbfounded, staring at the door with her eyes and jaw wide. Then, a wave of embarrassment washed over her, cheeks burning hot as she shook her head at her own stupidity: she had every right to have her door locked and he had no business coming in uninvited. Her body was shaking and tingling with adrenaline, but she quickly made her way to the door and took a deep breath before unlocking and opening it.

“Oh, hey, I’m sorry I almost barged in-,” Ben started then quickly stopped as his eyes lowered from hers. Confused, Rey followed his gaze down to find her very, _very_ exposed body on full display, covered only by whichever designer Jessika got her bikinis from.

“Kriff,” she muttered, then brought her eyes back up to Ben’s face to find him staring at the ceiling with a strained expression, his cheeks and ears burning a fierce red. Slowly, and very deliberately, Rey stepped behind the door letting it close towards him until only her head was visible. “I _swear_ to you I know how to dress myself.”

“Huh? What-no, no it’s fine, it’s…um, we _are_ on an island and…yeah.”

“I don’t…I don’t usually just hang around half dressed, I’m really very shy-”

“I’m not judging-,”

“I was wearing a shirt earlier!” she yelped suddenly, as if that wasn’t insane at all.

Suddenly, Ben started to laugh, burying his face in his almost too large hands, and he turned to walk down the hall.

“I’m going to walk down these stairs. Then I’m going to come back and ask you if you would be interested in dinner with me tonight, ok?” he called back to her over his shoulder.

Ben disappeared down the stairway, his voice echoing up to her, and she found herself starting to giggle at the sheer ridiculousness of the situation.

“You ready?”

Rey clamped a hand over her mouth to hold in her laughter, yet couldn’t stop herself from snorting unattractively, barely muffling the sound.

“I’m coming! Get ready!”

She couldn’t hold it this time and she snorted loudly, and Ben break into an impossibly wide and toothy grin at the sound as he stepped up on the landing.

“I warned you! Why are you laughing?”

“I-I don’t,” she snorted again, her body so wracked with laughter, she nearly lost her footing, “I don’t know!”

“Why are you laughing at me? I’m just trying to offer you dinner!” he asked with mock incredulity, leaning against the doorframe, trying not to laugh himself. “You’re so rude!”

Rey was now just a mess of gasps and tears and laughter so hard, it came out in a mortifying wheeze. She wasn’t sure what was funnier-Ben’s adorable grinning face or her own uncontrollable reaction to his teasing.

“You’re totally fired-can I even fire you?” he sniggered and reached out to shake the door between them in pretend aggression, growling through clenched teeth, “ _I’ll find a way!_ ”

“S-stop!” she whimpered, her head swimming from lack of air.

“Only if you put some damn clothes on and join me for dinner,” he said firmly, pointing a finger at her, then biting his generous lips into a charmingly crooked line to hold in a giggle before she slammed the door in his face.

“Clothing _not_ optional!” he called out again, his voice fading down the hall, and Rey collapsed against the door as she struggled to catch her breath.

She sunk down slowly, arms crossed over her chest, her cheeks aching from being stretched so wide. What the hell had just happened? She couldn’t remember the last time she’d laughed with anyone like that other than Finn. Somehow, the infuriating Ben Solo had transformed into an utter goof, diffusing their horribly awkward situation. Rey couldn’t even find it in herself to be embarrassed that he’d seen her so exposed yet again, and she’d all but forgotten about the horrific story still scattered across her bed.

“Kriffing idiot,” she whispered, her hands coming up to stop herself from smiling, her chest still bubbling with unspent giggles. There was no doubt this was going to be an interesting evening.

She dressed quickly and forced herself not to bound excitedly down the stairs like she wanted. She could hear and smell something delicious sizzling from around the corner, and she took a moment to shake out her nerves before making her entrance.

“Can I turn around?” he asked

“Shut it!” Rey snapped playfully, taking a seat at the kitchen counter, “I’m dressed, as ordered.”

Ben turned slowly, his eyes hidden by a spatula that he carefully peeked over to observe her. She spun around on the stool, arms outstretched to show off the baggy SolOrgana t-shirt she’d stolen from Finn’s closet the last time she’d stayed over.

“Alright, I guess you’re decent enough,” Ben muttered, turning back to the stove.

“Is that…is your hair up?”

He glanced back at her and sure enough, the front of his long hair was gathered in a small ponytail at the crown of his head.

“I know, not as impressive as yours,” he grinned and pointed to her own hairstyle. “But it’s hot, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“I like it. You should wear it like that more often.”

After a loaded moment of silence, he stopped whisking something in a bowl to reply, his voice little more than a whisper.

“Thanks.”

Rey felt a smile pulling at her lips, and the softest of flutters in her chest at the sincerity in that single word. As he resumed dinner preparations, she watched him in admiration, wondering what exactly was happening between them. Since last night when he’d told her she could stay, it seemed like some invisible wall had been breached. Suddenly, Ben Solo was just _different._ And she was finding that she rather liked it...

“So what’s on the menu tonight?” She asked, unable to take the train of thought the silence was creating in her mind.

“Breakfast,” he said simply without turning. “Or what us normal people call breakfast. You know those noodle cups are for emergencies, right?”

“Have you been digging through the trash to investigate my diet?”

“No, I could smell that stench from the guest house.”

“Well, it’s quick and easy. I didn’t have a Maz to teach me how to cook, you know,” She quipped, but found herself regretting the tinge of bitterness in her voice as his shoulders tensed. As she opened her mouth to apologize, Ben relaxed and turned to look at her with a wry smile.

“Sorry, sometimes I forget how lucky I was,” he said sheepishly, shrugging in an endearing way. “But you need a teacher, that’s for sure. So come over here and learn.”

And just like that, Ben had dissolved another awkward moment with ease. His eyes were open and honest, but the way he worried his bottom lip belied his nervousness. He looked a bit like a boy then, waiting eagerly for some kind of validation-and the last thing she wanted to do was leave him hanging.

“I’m to toil for my meals now, is that it?” she joked as she rounded the island and joined him in front of the stove. Ben removed the apron from around his neck and gestured carefully, asking if he could put it on her. With a little breath to steel herself, she nodded and stepped around.

“Well, you are _technically_ here to work, so…,” he muttered with a deep chuckle that had Rey fighting a shiver as his breath whispered softly against her ear.

Suddenly, his hands brushed ever so close to her neck as he settled the apron onto her; they were gone again in an instant, but the tingle of their nearness lingered on her skin. Then her brain all but short circuited when the sensation manifested at the small of her back, and she was glad he was behind her and unable to see the flush spreading across her cheeks. Despite the fact that he hadn’t actually touched her and she was dressed in perhaps the most unflattering shirt she owned, there was an intimacy about his actions that had Rey gritting her teeth to keep herself from sighing dreamily.

“Ready?” he asked softly, his warm breath causing a few stray tendrils of her hair to brush across her neck. Rey shivered, but hid it with a quick nod.

“As I’ll ever be.”

“Ok. Now this here is what we call a pancake. Can you say paaaancaaaake?” He teased, dragging out the word.

Rey rolled her eyes and elbowed him, and she was met with a wall of firm muscle. She was suddenly reminded of her first introduction to his miraculously carved abdomen yesterday morning.

“Hey, watch it! I’m delicate,” he yelped, feigning an injury.

“You’re ridiculous, that’s what you are,” she muttered, finding his humor a welcome distraction from her wandering mind. “Now what do I do first?”

“So you take this bowl and you tip it just so,” he began, his arms suddenly and completely caging her between him and the stove, his torso a few meager inches from being pressed against her back. “And you pour just about this much onto the griddle.”

She nodded quickly as he demonstrated, her voice completely absent as his breath danced down the side of her neck, the warmth of it making her shiver yet again. She didn’t have the slightest idea of what he was thinking, why he was doing this, and why she wasn’t fighting him tooth and nail to escape. In any other situation, that’s exactly what she would be doing, an instinct long ago ingrained into her. But though her heart raced and her stomach flip-flopped with anxiety, Rey could not bring herself to break out of the confines of his arms. There was no use denying the obvious-she _liked_ this.

“Now we wait and watch…,” he said softly, and her eyes nearly rolled back into their sockets at the sweetness of his deep voice in her ear.

“Watch for what?” she asked hesitantly, blushing at the husky sound of her own voice, wondering if he noticed it too.

“For the bubbles to rise. That’s how we know when to flip it. See, there’s one now.”

For what seemed like forever, Rey was lost in the most ludicrous trance, staring down at a bubbling pancake while soaking up the warmth from Ben’s body behind her, around her. A deep, wanton part of her wanted to lean back against him, to melt against that solid wall of muscle she knew lingered just a breath away from her. As if he could read her mind, Ben slowly and purposefully wrapped his right hand around hers, dwarfing and enveloping it as he guided her to grip the handle of the spatula. Her breath caught in her throat at the electricity of the contact, the sheer intimacy of his skin against hers despite the innocence of the task he was leading her in.

“Ready?” he asked in a near whisper, and this time she could clearly feel his full lips grazing against the shell of her ear. Her knees wobbled and she bit back a moan as a sudden warmth pooled in her belly, her thighs flexing and squeezing together uncontrollably, toes curling against the cool tile beneath her feet. He chuckled softly, and it was clear even in her haze that Ben knew exactly what he was doing to her. “Here we go.”

Rey watched rather than acted, letting his skilled hand guide her lifeless one as they flipped the pancake, finding it perfectly colored with a light golden sheen.

“Good job, you didn’t break it,” he teased, his lips brushing her ear again, and he suddenly exhaled, his breath flooding against the sensitive juncture of her neck and shoulder.

This time, Rey’s body lost control and her legs went nearly limp at the contact, causing her to stumble backwards. A shivering gasp ripped its way from her throat as her back met his torso, and as expected, it was like a living, breathing wall of solid warmth. Ben’s free hand flew up to grip her shoulder and steady her, and then everything went to hell.

Her brain went absolutely haywire at his hold, and her body demanded she either run or turn to face her attacker. She subconsciously chose the latter and whipped around in the small space between him and the stove, ripping that hand from her shoulder, then capturing and bending his thick middle finger far backwards to subdue him. But she somehow stopped herself before she pulled far enough to hurt him as she caught his eyes going wide in surprise, and they stood in a heavy silence as they stared at one another, frozen mid-attack.

Rey was the first to move, and she took a tiny step backwards as she released him, bumping against the stove as she began to stammer out an apology.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-,” but she jumped and yelped loudly as she reached a hand behind her to steady herself, placing the side of her palm directly on the hot griddle.

Ben immediately reacted, shutting off the stove and taking her wrist gently, leading her to the sink where he ran it under cool water. The burn smarted horribly, but the fierce blush spreading across her face did not hurt much less. Tears stung her eyes from both sensations, and she dropped her head to avoid looking at him, though it was clear he was completely focused on her hand at the moment.

“It’s ok, I don’t think it’s that bad. It’s not blistering at least,” he murmured, pressing gently at the reddened skin. “Are you ok?”

Rey could not find a voice to respond, so she merely nodded, still not looking at him. She cringed as she felt a tear roll down her cheek, followed by more and more, until she was sputtering with emotions she couldn’t even properly name.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I don’t know why I…I shouldn’t have done that, I was just…,” he whispered frantically, putting as much distance as he could between them while still holding her hand under the tap. “I’m so sorry, I am so stupid and-,”

“It’s alright,” she choked out finally. “Stop apologizing.”

“But I-I hurt you, I hurt you again and-,”

“It was an accident,” she muttered, clearing her throat and wiping her face with her free hand. “You didn’t do anything wrong…it’s _me_.”

The kitchen was tense and quiet again, the soft splashing of water the only thing separating them from total silence. Ben slowly let of her hand and took another step back, gripping the edge of the counter and bowing his head as he grimaced.

“You don’t have to lie. I know I…I fucked this up. I thought you might…,” he gritted out, clenching his teeth as he seemed to search for the right words.

Rey stared at him in confusion, absently flexing her hand as the water soothed the burn.

“What are you talking about? Why do you always think I’m lying?”

“No, no I didn’t mean that, I meant to say-God, I am so stupid! I cannot stop fucking this up!” He growled, and Rey inhaled sharply, suddenly very aware that this was the same man who pretty much lost his mind in front of her just two nights ago. But Ben took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he whispered, “I misread the situation.”

It took her a moment to realize she’d been holding her breath, and she exhaled slowly as she watched Ben wage war against himself in his head. She shut off the tap and wrapped her hand in the too large apron he’d placed on her, carefully thinking over her next words.

No matter what she said, it was going to change the atmosphere between them for the rest of her time here, and she knew she had decide quickly before Ben lost his battle against whatever darkness was raging inside of him. She wasn’t ready-no, not even a little. But fear had never stopped her from taking risks before, and there were moments in her life when ignoring the consequences had led her to her greatest victories against the world; moments where she did not look before she leapt, and still somehow landed on her feet.

As as terrifying as this moment was, the excitement of what might possibly happen next overrode every survival instinct that tried to clamp her jaw shut, to prevent her from saying those three little words that would change the rest of her stay, and quite possibly the rest of her life.

She swallowed hard, straightened her shoulders, and slowly walked towards Ben Solo as he raised his tortured eyes to her. She stopped a few steps out of his reach and opened her mouth, and without a second thought as to where she might land, Rey leapt.

“No…you didn’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Inspiration Music:
> 
> "Sand in My Shoes"- Dido  
> "Toxic"- Yael Naim  
> "La-Da-Da" Basia Bulat
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	5. A Fresh Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben shows a little bit of his Dark Side.
> 
> Rey uncovers a treasure.
> 
> Maz comes to see what all the fuss is about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay... again. I had a full chapter that I absolutely hated and it ruined the pacing. So I rewrote the whole thing. 10K words all for naught. But one delicious scene I'll be scavenging for a later chapter.... :D

Just as Rey had expected, the silence that followed those three words shifted the nature of the tension between them. Though his body was still frozen in place, emotion blossomed slowly and ever so sweetly over Ben’s face. His more than generous lips parted slightly, curving up at the corners ever so slightly. His brow unknitted as his near-black eyes widened, catching the dim lights of the kitchen and somehow glittering like the reflections of galaxies. The severity melted away until he was staring at her with the same awe as when she’d overpowered him just yesterday morning.

She was broken from her silent observation when Ben took a step towards her, his stance still hunched, eyes still uncertain. Before he could take another, she lifted her arm to stop him, the tips of her fingers hovering just over the center of his chest, barely grazing the fabric of his shirt. Ben’s face immediately fell, and the confidence that had bloomed in his eyes at her previous words deflated quickly and painfully. She opened her mouth to say something, but her mind was blank, and only a barely audible gasp of breath hung in the air between them. Finally, Ben turned away, his eyes downcast.

“Do you want to sit down?”

She actually startled at the gravelly sound of his voice breaking their silence.

“Y-yes,” she stammered, and when she turned to walk back around the island to her stool, Ben purposefully cleared his throat, stopping her in her tracks.

“I meant outside.”

“Oh. Ok, that’s fine.”

She braced herself as she took a step forward, and when she passed him, she could feel the warmth radiating from his body, as if she were walking from shade and into sunlight. It was surprising enough that it slowed her motion for just a moment, and when she wondered if Ben had noticed her hesitation. She was too afraid to look at him, so just continued on towards the back door, only stopping when she realized he wasn’t following. The sound of the stove igniting drew her attention and she found herself looking at Ben’s back as he shuffled utensils around.

“Are you-,”

“I’m going to finish dinner,” he said without turning. “I’ll be out there soon.”

His tone was completely neutral, but Rey began to feel embarrassed as she stood there watching him, and she all but dashed through the lanai, holding her breath until she was outside in the tropical night air. Relief flooded her as she approached the pool, absently noting the debris still floating in it from the storm. Beyond that, the picnic area with the pale blue canvas curtains sat luminous and enchanting in the moonlight. She took a seat, and staring off towards the shore, she waited, her thoughts overlapping and churning like the ocean waves.

She was suddenly very glad for the distance Ben had orchestrated. Clearly they both needed some time alone to think about what had just happened-and what could have happened if Rey had not gone rogue and tried to break his finger. Her face flushed as she relived that memory, rubbing gently at her burned palm; she’d all but forgotten about in in the last few minutes, but it throbbed harshly now. All in all, this night had been a perfect disaster, and any moment, Ben Solo was going to walk out here and expect an explanation. Even she wasn’t sure why she’d stopped him from coming near her after what she’d said. It might have been instinct, or maybe regret. Whatever it was, it certainly had put her right back on his bad side. Maybe this was it-maybe he was going to send her home just to save himself from suffering through any more mixed messages. With a mournful huff, Rey turned her gaze upwards. Her first few nights on the island had either been shrouded in fog or spent watching the sunset; now, lost in thought, she was loathe to let herself miss even a fraction of brilliant starry sky, if only to distract herself from Ben’s impending wrath.

“You really are a city girl, aren’t you?”

She whipped around at the sound of his voice over the gentle waves. He was carrying the same silver tray with their dinner, as well as two tall glasses of water. This time his tone was much softer though his face remained impassive and his eyes avoided hers.

“I’ve never seen it so clearly before. It’s unreal, like something out of a movie.”

He only nodded as he set down the tray, and she hesitantly took her own plate and drink as he took a seat on the opposite side of the bench. Again, he was keeping a respectful distance, something that helped to calm her even though she expected him to blow up at her any moment now. She focused on the food in front of her, barely muffling a pleased groan at the first heavenly bite of the pancakes.

“I thought the same thing when I was young. I remember the first night we spent on the island, camped out here on the beach because the house wasn’t even safe to go inside. There was no electricity of course, and the flashlight on the boat we’d rented was dead. So the only light we had was from this old hand-crank lantern we found in the boathouse. My parents were walking around looking for firewood and it was my job to crank it and light their way. But I kept getting distracted by the stars because there were just so _many_ of them.”

Ben paused to take a bite of his dinner while Rey chewed thoughtfully, smiling as she imagined the scene. Suddenly, he chuckled, much like he had during their hallway encounter, surprising her enough to almost choke on her water.

“So the lantern kept going out, and my mother would yell at me, and I would start frantically cranking it to turn it back on while she screamed and my father laughed. And it just kept happening over and over, until they’d finally scraped together enough to start a bonfire. We slept in the sand-at least we tried to. It was winter at the time and it was absolutely freezing. The fire kept going out, so my parents took turns during the night to watch it, and they’d fight every time they switched. My mother was so miserable the next morning, and they barely spoke for days afterwards. I think that’s the reason she went so overboard when she remodeled this place. She never forgot how dark and uncomfortable that first night was, so she made this place like a five star resort just to spite my father. If we’d left it up to him, he probably wouldn’t have changed a thing. Except to try and put a landing strip in somehow.”

This time, Rey joined him in laughter, however subdued. It was strange that he was offering up information about his family so freely after having spent two days thinking she was a spy. But then again, if she was, what could she really do with the story he’d just told? It was a simple family anecdote, not breaking news.

“So, like you said the other night, quid pro quo,” he said suddenly. “Now you tell me something.”

She froze mid-bite, surely looking like a complete imbecile. Ben wasn’t looking at her; he was focused on a particular patch of sand only a yard or so away from them. But eventually her silence lured his eyes back to her, where she was nervously shifting in her seat.

“Well, I’m not really sure I have a good memory like that-,”

“I never said it was a good memory,” he said with a bitter huff of a laugh, tearing his gaze away from her for a moment. “Alright, then tell me something, anything about you. First thing that comes to your mind.”

“I don’t know-,”

“You don’t know anything about yourself? I’m not buying that,” he interrupted, and she wasn’t sure if he was joking or genuinely annoyed. “Come on, just say something off the top of your head. Who is Rey?”

“I’m no one,” she whispered back, confused at his harsh stare.

“No one,” he repeated, this time in a gentler tone. His eyes were pitch black, unreadable, and Rey squirmed under his focus. “Is that by choice?”

She frowned and started to ask what he meant when he instead dragged a hand though his hair and turned so he was straddling the bench. While she was glad that he wasn’t staring her down anymore, she wasn’t any more comfortable like this.

“I envy that, being no one. No expectations, no one shadowing every step you take. No one chronicling your entire life, your family, your history. I bet if I looked you up, there wouldn’t be a single entry. But me… _us_...those results are endless, like counting the stars. Constellations made of infinite snippets of mundane information, blurry photos and second hand stories, all of them forming these jagged silhouettes that just barely resemble people. All over the country, the voyeurs salivate for another misstep, another failure, another rumor about the fall of the publishing house of Usher.”

He leaned forward, and Rey swore his voice dropped another octave as he continued.

“And the best, the most _delicious_ part of the whole spectacle that is my family is that it keeps rebuilding itself. We crumble, we shatter, we burn alive, and then we stir from the rubble and start all over again, building our own pedestal beneath our feet, brick by brick, day by day, until no one has a choice _but_ to look up at us. But it’s not worship, no. It’s hunger, it’s an obsession of never-blinking eyes, wondering which crack will bring it all tumbling down yet again. Each of us- my mother, my father, me, my uncle-we’re all the cracks in our own foundation, and all of us have had our turn. But no one has brought the house down more than I have.”

Even from where she sat, Rey could tell Ben was gripping the bench tightly. The muscles of his arms flexed, his jaw and eyes clenched shut and he held his breath until his face began to turn red. It was obvious he was holding in a roar of anger, but somehow, just by watching him, Rey could feel the air around them reverberate with the intention.

It took her a moment to realize it was actually her that was trembling. Her body was coursing with so many emotions, she wasn’t sure what her expression must’ve looked like. Not that it mattered, because Ben wasn’t even looking at her. Instead he was slouched over and staring blankly ahead at the ocean, panting hard. Most of the tension had left his body, but she could still see the thick cord in his neck pulsing erratically. Rey wished more than anything that she could find some way to diffuse the situation, like he had done for her after the swimsuit fiasco. But this was far from her area of expertise. She could probably fix the jenny blindfolded if she set her mind to it; she could not begin to fix Ben Solo even if he came with a thousand page instruction manual.

“You really don’t like to be touched, do you?” he asked suddenly. While he still didn’t look at her, Rey could see he was actively fighting that urge. She wanted to open up to him, to match his tirade about his family’s infamy. But she felt that her own story might only worsen his mood. There wasn’t really much of a win either way, so she chose to be vague.

“It’s…kind of a long story.”

“I don’t doubt that,” he said after a moment of tense silence when it was clear she wasn’t going to offer anything more. “Maybe it’s a good thing.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because whatever made you stop me back there…whatever changed your mind…it saved you from making a huge mistake. And it saved you from becoming another one of mine.”

His words cut her deeply, and she audibly gasped, nearly drawing his eyes. But instead he turned around and stared again at that spot in the sand. Rey felt tears stinging her eyes both out of anger and offense, and though her blood roiled beneath her skin, she held still until the worst of it had passed. Only then did she calmly rise from the table and begin piling the dishes onto the silver tray. Ben didn’t so much as flinch as she worked, at least not until she hefted the tray from the table.

“You don’t have to-,” he began, turning towards her without looking up.

“The least I can do,” she said quickly and dismissively, nearly stumbling over her feet as she made her escape. “Thank you for dinner, but let’s not do this again.”

She made her way back to the house as swiftly and carefully as she could, closing the door with her foot as she entered the kitchen. She set the tray down beside the sink, and after a few silent moments of watching it fill with suds, she went back to the door to lock it. At the exact moment she gripped it, the doorknob turned. Rey withdrew her hand as if it’d once again been burned letting out a strangled yelp of surprise. That was when she looked up and saw Ben standing on the other side, his hand slack on the knob, his eyes dark and unreadable.

They stared at each other for some measure of eternity, neither of them making a move, barely blinking, barely breathing. Rey wondered what would happen if she stepped back and let him in; would he just apologize, or make another joke to ease the tension between them? Or would he take that step forward that she’d denied him earlier, even after what he’d said about her being a mistake? A quick rush of memory had her body reliving the warmth of his as he’d stood behind her, guiding her hands, enveloping her, tempting her to let him teach her so many things…

Before she could change her mind, she tore her gaze from Ben’s, and ignoring how he flinched at the sound of the door locking, turned back to the nearly full sink brimming with dishes.

 

**************  


 

Rey woke to the sound of rain the next morning, a quiet and brief sun shower that she watched with a sleepy appreciation from the doorway of the veranda. Afterwards, she attempted to call Finn but only got voicemail, leaving her to stew in her own thoughts over a weak cup of coffee at the kitchen counter. She spent the better part of an hour staring at the stove, musing over the previous night. She couldn’t say she was surprised to hear the boat engine suddenly start in the distance, and the further away the sound got, the more relieved she felt.

With Ben gone, she found herself drawn to the shore again, but while heading to her room to change into her swimsuit, Rey instead found herself stopping in front of a different door. Captain Lor had called it Mrs. Solo’s library, and curiosity crept up her spine, urging her to go inside. As she stepped into the cluttered room, it felt a whole lot like trespassing, and she had to remind herself that she’d been invited to borrow from it. She had never been much of a reader, but there was only so much gazing at a horizon one could do-maybe a little distraction was just what she needed.

Every square inch was lined with shelves, all of them packed with so many books, it was hard to see the wall behind them. The only clear surface was a small portion of the writing desk in front of the window that overlooked the veranda. Rey ran her fingers over the worn surface, leaving dark trails in the thick layer of dust. As she clapped the grime from her skin, the dust floated in the beams of sun trailing through the curtains, like tiny fairies basking in the glow. There was something very special about this room, a special kind of energy that had her almost giddy with inexplicable excitement. She had never been this delighted in any library before, so why was this place any different? Of course back then, she’d been more focused on the heat the buildings had provided rather than the literature.

A grin lifted one side of her lips as it occurred to her that she was in fact standing in the personal library of highly respected editor, so there was a chance that any single volume surrounding her could be the greatest book she would ever read. There must be hundreds, if not thousands of people who would give their right hand to be standing where she was. And just like that, Rey was reminded that aside from Jerk Solo, she was so very lucky to be on this island in the first place.

With her spirits much brighter than when she’d woken up, Rey began to scan the shelves for a title that caught her eye, her fingers traipsing over well-worn spines and faded print. Several times she’d thought she’d made her final choice when a gleam of binding would catch her eye and she’d move on to another shelf only to repeat the process. Eventually she took a seat in the antique leather chair, sending another plume of dust into the air, tickling her nose. Suddenly, but not unexpectedly, Rey sneezed, doubling over with the force. That was how she found her face only inches away from the old wooden chest tucked under the desk.

She knew she shouldn’t snoop around. Poe, Captain Lor, even Ben himself- so many people had trusted Rey to respect the privacy of the family. Yet she was helpless to her curiosity as she found herself on her knees, dragging the chest out into the light. She sat back on the balls of her feet as she carefully undid the latch, then held her breath as she lifted the lid, her heart racing in anticipation. Then her eyes went wide and her jaw practically fell to her lap.

She stared at the immaculate copy of _The Phantom Menace_ for a long time, clenching her fists at her side, trying to resist touching it. The smooth surface and sunken print of the cover almost demanded to be caressed, but even though she was not collector, Rey was not stupid-this book was older than this house and probably worth more than the island itself. Touching it with her bare hands would be like putting the hope diamond in a garbage disposal. Still…was this really an opportunity she could pass up?

“There’s gloves in the drawer there, child.”

Rey shrieked and fell back hard on her bottom, but was right back on her feet in an instant, whipping around to see the intruder. At first she found herself staring at an empty doorway, but movement to her right caught her eye and she watched in silent shock at the tiny woman striding confidently towards the desk, pushing bottle thick glasses back and up over the kerchief adorning her head.

“W-who are you, how did you-,” she began, confused as to why she hadn’t heard the sound of a boat.

“Leia always keeps at least a pair or two around,” the woman muttered, rooting around in the drawer, completely ignoring Rey until she found what she was looking for. “See! I knew they were here.”

Rey opened her mouth to repeat her questions, but the woman reached out and started to tug a glove onto Rey’s right hand. She had to fight the urge to yank her hand away, understanding that she wasn’t going to get any answers until she followed along. Now with both gloves on, the woman urged her to pick up the priceless book.

“Both hands always, this is a first edition you know. The glue in the binding is very delicate, so you can’t let the pages shift too much. And don’t even think about opening it, that spine hasn’t bent in well over fifty years!”

Rey carefully eased her fingers beneath the bottom cover and lifted the surprisingly heavy tome up out of the chest.

“Come, take a deep breath. _That_ is what history smells like!”

As strange as the command was, she did just that. The scent that filled her head was part acrid, part musty, and part oddly sweet.

“What does it feel like, child? Holding the legacy of this family in your hands?”

The amused tone of the woman was gone now, instead echoing with a reverence that had Rey feeling like she was doing something sacrilegious by even being in the same room as the book.

“I don’t have words for it.”

“I expect Master Skywalker would. He had words for every occasion…though not all of them appropriate,” she grumbled at the end, punctuating that with a little sigh.

“Did you know him?”

“Only in his later years. I was just shy of my twentieth birthday the first time I set foot on this island.”

The woman paused, resting her hands on her hips as she took a look and disapproving glance around the room. Rey easily reasoned out that she must be Maz, the grandmotherly figure Ben had mentioned.

“So dusty in here. I tell them to get an agency in here to clean up, but Miss Leia insists on doing it herself whenever she comes down. As one can see, it’s been quite a while.”

“So I’ve heard,” Rey said quietly, looking back at the priceless tome still in her hands. There was something very story-like about the situation she found herself in now, standing in the library of the daughter of one of the most famous writers in history, speaking to perhaps one of the last people who had known him. “Is that why you’re here?”

“Me? Clean up this dump?” Maz scoffed, waving her hand dismissively. “Those years are long gone, my dear. No, I’m just here to see the girl that’s driven my Ben back to the mainland twice in a week.”

Rey flinched, hiding the motion as she lowered the book back down, noting that an equally pristine copy of _The Clone Wars_ also sat in the chest. Pausing and counting in her head, Rey realized that the entire series of the beloved _Star Wars_ series lay at her feet; the contents of the chest could probably buy an entire city block in Manhattan. Suddenly the book in her grasp felt like a ticking bomb, and her heart raced as she ever so carefully replaced it and shut the lid.

“It’s a shame she keeps them hidden away like that. They belong in a museum. Or at least on a shelf.”

“Captain Lor said she nearly threw them away,” Rey said with a questioning tone, hoping the old woman would offer some insight.

“He says a lot of things,” Maz sighed instead, giving her a coy and knowing grin. But instead of chastising Rey for prying, she just glanced around the room wistfully. “Well now, I suppose you came in here for a book a little less irreplaceable, didn’t you? There are some paperback copies of Master Skywalker’s works on that shelf there. If they interest you, I mean.”

“I never finished the first one,” Rey shrugged, following the woman’s gesturing and heading to the corner bookcase. It held the collection of books, all of them well-worn and creased. “I should at least pick up where I left off.”

She let out a non-committal little grunt, and when Rey turned back, she found herself the sole subject of Maz’s attention. The little woman, with her almost masculine clothing and bronzed skin, took a few steps closer, settling her glasses back down on her nose. Her eyes bloomed to almost twice their actual size beneath the thick lenses, and Rey suddenly felt like a bug beneath a microscope.

“You’re rather young to be working for Mr. Solo. Fresh out of college?”

“I never went,” Rey replied, her brow furrowing as she waited to see what sort of judgement she would make of that.

“Neither did I. Lor says you fixed the generator on your own. So you’ve learned some things the hard way, I assume?”

“Maybe. I hear he says a lot of things,” Rey replied smugly, arching an eyebrow

“Touché,” Maz grinned, nodding. “A bit of a mystery, though. That’s trouble to begin with. Ben loves a good mystery.”

“I’m not here to be anyone’s entertainment,” Rey quipped, immediately regretting her tone. But the woman took it in stride, simply giving her another once over, nodding appreciatively.

“You’re prettier than the last one, too.”

Now that was just a step too far, no matter who this woman was. Rey huffed and quickly walked past her, heading towards the guest room. After spending a few moments breathing deeply to calm herself, she changed into a bikini and searched through her bag for another oversized t-shirt. The first one she found was emblazoned with the logo of a college she’d once dreamed of attending, a treasure found on a thrift store rack when she’d been searching for an outfit proper enough for her internship interview. Rey drew her thumb over the cracked silkscreen print, pursing her lip as she thought back to those hopeful days in the junkyard, believing that her natural aptitude with anything mechanical would somehow magically earn her a place there despite not even finishing high school…or grade school, for that matter. With time, the dream had faded, but never fully died. Instead, it sat patiently on her list of “Maybe Someday” goals-one that grew woefully longer the older she got.

The door was shut when she passed the library, and there was no sign on the woman downstairs. It wasn’t until Rey was nearing the shaded swing that she saw Maz waiting, staring out at the gentle waves. The anger had left her, and she was genuinely curious about why the woman was still on the island, so she took a seat beside her.

“So do I need to give you the speech about why I’m even on this island, or did one of them already tell you?”

“I’m aware of the situation, child. Lucky little duckling, aren’t we?”

“Very. My friend, he risked a lot by sending me here. But he didn’t anticipate that I’d have company.”

“Neither did Ben. He made that very clear the other morning when he came to ask me for advice.”

“Did he really?”

“Oh, he’d never admit it. He said he came to complain that there was ‘some girl’ in the house. But if that isn’t a plea for guidance…,” Maz trailed off.

“So what did he tell you about me?”

“Not much. You haven’t given up a whole lot for him to go on, I gather. He hasn’t said it, but he seems to find you _very_ interesting.”

“Why do you say that?”

“He mentioned you. He showed up at my bar and the first thing he did was tell me about you. The mere fact that he even brought you up says it all. He hasn’t told me anything that has happened between the two of you. I have no idea what either of you have said or done in the past few days, but I’m getting the impression that it’s a little more than just host and houseguest. When he came storming in this morning looking miserable, I decided it was best that I come see for myself.”

A comfortable silence fell between them as they gently rocked in the chair and watched the waves.

“So what do you think, then? Of me?”

“I think you’re quite clever, but still a bit naïve,” she said bluntly, drawing a frown from Rey. Maz noticed and patted her hand reassuringly. “Only due to age, my dear. Though you could argue that when you get to be as old as I am, everyone seems as clueless as a yearling in matters of the heart.”

“You’re not wrong. I can fix anything you put in front of me, but when it comes to other people…,”

Rey trailed off, thinking back to the moment when she’d stopped Ben in the kitchen last night. It was no wonder he was so frustrated-she’d been willing one moment, then pushed him away the next. Even she was confused. I didn’t come here to meet anyone. I just came to relax, to just…see what the other side is like.”

“So what’s the verdict on that then?”

Rey mused over the old woman’s question, staring off at the shoreline, her mind drifting back to Ben’s impassioned soliloquy last night. Her life of anonymity hadn’t exactly felt like a burden; she’d never had anyone to impress, had no expectations to live up to, and there certainly hadn’t been millions of pairs of eyes watching her all of her life. In that way, her life had been easier, ducking through the shadows, never giving more of herself than necessary. His family might be wealthier than she could possibly imagine, but if she’d grown up in Ben’s position under the judgmental eyes of an entire country, she might have wanted to trade it all for just one day out of the spotlight. It was no wonder Captain Lor had called the island his happy place. Where else could he simply exist without having to look over his shoulder for a flashing lens or prying eye?

“I suppose being rich isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I’m rather happy to be no one after what he’s told me.”

“Ah, wise words,” Maz said with a touch of sadness in her voice. “One can have every luxury and opportunity at their fingertips, yet pay for it in other ways. I suppose that was Master Skywalker’s reason for the pseudonym at first. He was unmasked eventually, though…rather literally.”

“What do you mean?”

“He hid his identity for decades, child. Every time Darth Vader was called upon to make a public appearance, Master Skywalker wore a mask, fashioned after the one a favorite character of his wore.”

Rey frowned in confusion-the article she’d secretly printed had made no mention of it, and it hadn’t appeared in any of the pictures. She did remember then that Captain Lor had mentioned something about diehard fans uncovering a secret. It made sense now; it was actually a bit impressive, if not strange. Anakin Skywalker had managed conceal his true identity for a very long time-but why? He’d obviously used his wealth to rub elbows with the wealthy, and even to meet Padme Amidala, so what was the purpose of hiding his face?

“Do you know why? I mean, that’s very odd.”

“It was. I can’t tell you how many reporters and fans cornered me, offering obscene sums for me to simply nod in confirmation that they were the same man. I never broke, but someone figured it out anyway. As to his reasoning, well… I think if you were to read the books yourself, you might understand. All I can say is that some writers need a bit of distance from their work. People tend to draw unfair assumptions from the fiction that one can create, they think it defines the person behind the name. Master Skywalker was not a normal man for his time. He wrote provocative things, he never pulled any punches. I think he refused to associate himself with the books because of that. And though she hated the mask, Mistress Skywalker was relieved that the secret of his identity was preserved by it.”

Though she was glad that Maz was freely giving her information, Rey was confused as to why. Clearly the woman had been hounded by the media in the past, so why reveal things that would make any true fan (or murder mystery enthusiast) salivate?

“Why are you telling me these things? Aren’t they family secrets? Captain Lor wouldn’t tell me-,”

“Captain Lor doesn’t know Ben like I do. And I think he wouldn’t mind what I’ve told you in the slightest. I’ve likely only beat him to the punch.”

“I…I don’t think we were bound to talk much after what’s already been said. So thank you all the same. I promise you it won’t leave the island.”

“My dear, that goes without saying. If you were here to mine this family for more secrets, he would never have dragged himself back to the mainland today, looking so rejected.”

Rey let out a bitter bark of laughter at that, hiding her eyes from Maz, though she could feel the woman’s gaze fixed on her.

“Do you think he’ll come back?”

“I don’t think so, child. He brought his things with him and asked to stay in my spare room. I guess you’ll be getting your private vacation after all.”

“It’s not…I don’t mind him being here,” Rey countered, stammering through the confusion in her racing mind at the thought of never seeing Ben again. “He wasn’t all that terrible. He had a sense of humor and he can cook. I wouldn’t mind…I wouldn’t mind at least being friends. I could certainly use more of those.”

Again, Maz seemed to examine her from beneath the magnifying lenses of her thick glasses. After some time, she gave a sad little huff and shook her head.

“I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way. With Ben, it’s either black or white, there is no grey. A pity of course. You’re much prettier _and_ smarter than the last one.”

Before Rey could reply, Maz stood and stretched, letting out a satisfied groan at the loud pop of a vertebrae.

“Well, I must get back. It’s a long kayak ride back to the mainland,” she said, answering Rey’s question as to why there was no sound of a boat approaching when she was in the library. “And I have to make sure Ben doesn’t drink himself into a Hemingway stupor. These writers, I tell you.”

The woman nodded in a silent goodbye and walked off towards the dock, leaving Rey sitting alone with her turmoil. While part of her was glad she again had the island to herself, another part felt as though maybe she’d run him out of his own home. And then of course there was the tiny, almost unheard voice wishing he would come back. She hadn’t been lying-it was reassuring to have Ben on the island, not just from a safety standpoint, but for companionship as well. In the right mood, he was actually fun to be around, to talk to…and he was rather easy to look at, as much as she hated to admit it.

But the damage had been done, the cord of possibility had been severed, and the remaining days on Chewie Key would belong to her alone. As she looked down at the paperback version of _The Phantom Menace_ , Rey pursed her lips and wondered if she should page through and find where she left off over a decade ago, or if she should start all over again.

“A fresh start,” she murmured to herself as she picked up the book and turned to the first page, “is definitely in order.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Inspiration music:
> 
> "Wicked Game"- Gemma Hayes  
> "Whataya Want from Me"- Adam Lambert  
> "Shinjitsu No Uta"- Do As Infinity (WIND instrumental version)


	6. Smooth Operator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey learns to dig, a little in her past, a little in Captain Lor's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank Lumi_Lupes aka Luminoustigress on Tumblr for the greatest gift any fanfic writer could ever ask for- Fanart!   
> I am so thankful, and seeing art inspired by my own ramblings got me so inspired that I churned out an additional two chapters on top of the one I was already sitting on for editing.  
> I've had health issues that have escalated lately, so I've been too preoccupied with real life to even escape to writing. But please know that I have been working on this spurred on by the many kudos and comments y'all have been sending my way, and I will continue to do so. I cherish every single one, especially for the fact that in this grand sea of Reylo, you chose to come ashore my little island. 
> 
> So welcome back. Take a seat and let me tell you a little more of the story.

_“Always two there are. No more, no less. A master and an apprentice.”_

_“But which one was destroyed, the master or the apprentice?”_

Rey gasped and reread the passage three more times, grinning at the dawning mystery in the words of Jedi masters Yoda and Mace Windu. The smile was lost to a jaw-cracking yawn not a moment later, shocking her back into reality. She blinked rapidly as her bleary eyes darted towards the digital clock, then loudly cursed in surprise at the time. It was five am, and judging by the lightness of the sky past the French doors, dawn was quickly approaching. She fought yet another mental battle then, one of many since she had first picked up the book yesterday: should she read just one more chapter?

It wouldn’t be the first sleepless night of her life, but would definitely be the first caused by the sudden and gripping addiction of a book. Yesterday, she’d only set it down for the necessary action of making dinner and a brief phone call with Finn in which he did most of the talking. Eventually she’d settled into her very comfy guest bed to read just a little bit more…but that had obviously been hours ago. Frowning in both exhaustion and disappointment, she weighed her options: either she could keep reading another hour and finish the book, or she could take a break to watch the sunrise and then sleep until her eyes weren’t so horribly tired.

Reluctantly, Rey set down the paperback. After a satisfying stretch, made her way downstairs to the kitchen, brewing up a weak cup of tea. The predawn world was preternaturally quiet, and as she took a seat on the swinging bench by the shore, she sipped her tea and let her mind wander. She’d picked up the book looking for a distraction, but instead ended up with an obsession; even now, her fingers itched at the lack of pages to turn, and her imagination whirled between fantastical theories about what would happen next. She wished that she could read faster-she was going to get very little sleep from here on out if she was going to finish the series before it was time to go back home…

At that thought, Rey laughed at her own childish excitement. Here she was acting as if the most famous story in the world didn’t exist off of the island, when she could easily wander into any library and find the books. But the excitement of the goal she’d unknowingly set before herself was invigorating, and she found herself forcing her body not to retreat back to her room to devour the final chapters. Really, the last time she’d been this excited about reading anything was back at the junkyard when she’d check out as many technical manuals as she could carry. She’d spend days just reading, ignoring the ache of an empty stomach, deciphering and learning as much as she could about the rusting wrecks surrounding her. That rusted camper had been her library and laboratory, a sanctuary from the harsh streets she’d quite literally grown up on. Life had of course gotten easier once she’d been sent to Mr. Plutt, but never again had Rey felt that sense of fulfillment and fascination. Not until she’d opened _The Phantom Menace_ yesterday afternoon.

She had to wonder: if her early life hadn’t been preoccupied with mere survival, who would she have been? Would she have been more trusting, more open? Would she have had more friends, a boyfriend, or at least a silly schoolgirl crush?

What would she have done with her spare time? Would she ever have discovered her mechanical tendencies, or would it have remained buried just below her surface, a talent unawakened? Would she have been a voracious reader like this, or would she have been a social butterfly like Finn, with easy smiles and untamable optimism?

It was easy to imagine that she would have been the exact opposite of who she was now. The majority of those things might be better, easier, and made her happier. But there were so many things she would never have learned or experienced, too. Things that she held dear, and if given the choice, she wasn’t sure if she could trade them for the path of least resistance. Would she have ever learned the depths of her strength, the unbridled force of her own will? Would she have ever have met Finn, the truest friend she had ever known?

Would she have ever met Ben Solo?

Rey’s heart fluttered strangely as she relived the sight of his face on the other side of the kitchen door. She could see his eyes, swimming with uncertainty, both hopeful and hopeless at the same time, waiting for her to decide if she would open the door and herself to him. Whether he’d followed her out of guilt for his harsh words or realization that he hadn’t meant any of it, she would probably never know. She’d locked him out both literally and symbolically, and he’d left her without a fight. It seemed so unlike him…but of course, there was no way she could know such a thing. A handful of hours with a man that changed personalities faster than she could blink gave her no authority to decide what he was and wasn’t like. For all she knew, she’d never seen the real Ben Solo. After all, hiding behind a mask ran in his family, didn’t it?

Of course none of that mattered now. He was gone, probably nursing his wounded pride with another bottle of rum. Or maybe with a more trusting, less complicated woman…

Her breath hitched in her throat at the thought, but before her train of thought could continue, the first rays of dawn broke the horizon. Rey welcomed the timely distraction, and felt her mind clear as she tried to name every vivid color the sun painted across the sky. The activity soothed her so much, she found herself nodding off, the mug tilting precariously on her knee. Eventually, she did in fact spill cold tea all over her bare legs, and grudgingly made her way back to the house. After a quick stop to shut off the generator for a rest, Rey trudged upstairs and blindly stumbled to bed. Before she could even think about fumbling for the book to start the next chapter, her eyes were shut and she was dead to the world.

*****************  
  
It took a combination of hunger and a horrid beeping sound to rouse her. With a mournful groan, Rey found herself searching for the digital clock only to find it dark, taking longer than she should’ve to remember she’d turned off the jenny last night…or this morning rather. So what was that noise if not her alarm?

“I never even set an alarm,” she mumbled, her mind starting to fully awaken as the mystery deepened.

Suddenly, Rey heard the voice of men talking from nearby, and sat up ramrod straight. She half stumbled to the veranda, hissing as she clipped her shin against a wicker chair in her haste. As she hopped the last few steps, her eyes widened at the sight of the small crane being pulled off of a barge by an excavator on the far side of the island. Captain Lor stood beside the guest house and as exhausted as she was, Rey found herself excited for his pleasant company. She dashed downstairs, barely registering her haggard face and mussed hair in the ornate mirror of the foyer. She made a wretched face at herself and took a moment to smooth her updo and grab a pair of sunglasses before she was bounding out the door, her mouth still cottony from sleep.

The captain turned at the sound of the front door slamming shut behind her, and he greeted her with an enthusiastic wave and smile that she eagerly returned.

“Well, I was wondering when you’d venture out to supervise,” he joked, patting her shoulder affectionately when she stopped beside him. The fact that she did not so much as flinch at the contact was not lost on Rey. “Finally wrangled up a few fellas to sort out the solar panel. Took some creative engineering, I don’t even know how Ms. Leia got it on the island in the first place.”

“Really? I had imagined you were the genius behind it,” Rey chirped curiously.

“No. That’s before I was in the picture, sweetheart,” he replied, a strangely wry smile twisting his lips. Rey was starting to understand the meaning behind Ben and Maz’s little catchphrase regarding the captain. He did say a lot of things, and explained almost none of them.

“He’s really good with that excavator,” she gestured towards the man operating it.

“A real smooth operator!” he replied with a chuckle, and his expectant look told Rey a joke had just flown way over her head. He shook his head, still laughing to himself. “Kids…you ever get behind the wheel of one of these things, honey? Or levers, I should say?”

“No never. But I’ve always wanted to.”

“Well, maybe we can remedy that-,” he began, but raised a hand to calm Rey when she tensed in excitement, “ _If_ they’re ok with it. I’ll ask after the work is done-no promises!”

“I can wait. Waited this long, didn’t I?”

The slight frown melted away into a genuine grin as she shifted from foot to foot in anticipation. She knew she looked ridiculous, but Captain Lor had the sort of presence that brought her walls down; he might be vague, but he’d been nothing but honest with her since they’d met. She felt a pang of sadness as she realized she likely would never see him ever again after her time on the island was over. It was enough to bring her giddiness down a few notches, and she forced herself to focus on the work going on before her.

After the workmen had everything safely on the sand, Captain Lor guided her closer and began to explain the equipment and materials, giving her a fascinating lesson on how the solar system worked. With the help of the foreman, every step of the process was explained to her, every piece was named, and every one of her questions was answered. Rey was enthralled for the two hours the men taught her, equal parts studious and grateful that they were taking their precious time to entertain her curiosity. Captain Lor and the foreman were in no way patronizing, and in fact, they seemed impressed with her knowledge, even as rudimentary as it was.

Finally, after the panels were in place and the basic electrical checks were being performed by the other workers, the captain pulled aside the foreman for a moment. Rey pretended not to notice, but from the corner of her eye, she saw Lor slip something to the man as he gestured towards the excavator. After a tense moment, the foreman shrugged and nodded with a grin.

“Rey, come over here!”

Still playing oblivious, she fought the urge to skip over to the men, biting back a smile that threatened to overtake her face.

“Looks like you can cross this off your bucket list, honey. Hop in and I’ll show you what to do.”

At this point, Rey wasn’t even embarrassed at the squeal that erupted out of her. Both of the men laughed as she practically leapt into the cockpit of the compact excavator, her eyes dancing over the various levers and gauges.

“Alright,” the captain drawled in his ever so slightly southern accent. “Now this one here controls the boom-guess which part that is?”

After a brief crash course on the controls, Captain Lor pointed to the ignition and lowered his sunglasses just enough to wink one of his stunning blue eyes at her.

“Have fun, sweetheart.”

With that, Rey pushed the button, her heart hammering in her chest as the engine roared to life. She could feel the vibrations down to the marrow of her bones, a testament to the immense power that she’d been trusted with. And as she put the machine into gear, she let out a childish whoop of surprise at the sudden lurch forward.

“Careful, Rey!” she saw rather than heard Captain Lor yell to her. She raised a hand briefly before mentally calculating where she’d gone wrong. Rerunning his brief lesson in her mind, she whispered to the excavator just like she would any piece of machinery back home. When she finally felt confident, Rey tried again. This time, it was a much smoother start, and as she made her way slowly towards the solar panels, even the workers had taken a pause to applaud her.

“Perfect!” the captain’s voice boomed over the engine. “Now dig!”

Rey stopped a good distance from the newly installed panel and did just that, working slowly at first, then speeding up as she got used to the controls, laughing happily as she performed a pretty good digging maneuver that drew whistles and cheers from her audience.

“Thatta girl!” Captain Lor yelled, whooping a few times for good measure. Rey grinned widely at him with darting glances as she began to turn the cab in slow circles, taking care to keep the arm tucked close so she didn’t hit anything or anyone.

After a few more blissful minutes of playing with the excavator, she caught sight of the foreman patting the captain’s shoulder and pointing at the sky. That was when Rey realized that it had gotten awfully humid and gloomy while she’d been preoccupied. She understood the worry over the impending rain-after all, they still had a trip back to the mainland through increasingly choppy waters. She shut down the machine without hesitation-she was more than satisfied with the experience Captain Lor had obviously greased the foreman’s palm for.

When she emerged from the cabin, her legs felt a bit wobbly and the captain was there to catch before she got a faceful of sand.

“Oops, watch it honey. That thing shook your little bird bones to jelly, didn’t it?” he joked. Normally, Rey’s ire would be raised at the simple insinuation that she was anything less than strong. But once again, this man brought out a side of her she had hidden from Finn for years. It was hard to tell if it was just his personality, or if maybe Rey was getting better at this whole friendship thing…

“I’m alright, thank you,” she giggled in return, still unsure why his touch did nothing to alarm her. They watched from the shade of the guesthouse as the power was restored to the island and the men packed up the heavy machinery back onto the barge. After she’d thanked the foreman profusely for letting her try her hand at the excavator, the men shipped off, leaving her and the captain alone. They walked together towards the control room for one last look over the area to make sure no tools were left out in the sand.

“Don’t you look just radiant? Like a kid on Christmas morning!”

“I can’t thank you enough for convincing him, really. That was amazing!”

“Well, you only live once. When would you get another opportunity? You’d have to wait for the next time lightning strikes the-,”

The captain stopped suddenly, dropping to his knees so quickly, Rey thought he’d collapsed. But a moment later he was digging through the sand, mumbling under his breath.

“What is it, what are you looking for?”

“For this!” he replied not a moment later, standing up straight with an excited grin.

He motioned for her hold out her hand, and when she complied, he dropped several pieces of strange rock on her palm. They were jagged and tubular, almost like coral, but the same dull white of the sand under her feet.

“Fulgurite. Forms when lightning strikes sand. You don’t see this too often because it’s usually beneath the sand. You must’ve dug it up.”

Suddenly, she remembered the strange patterns drawn in the sand when she’d first come to fix the solar panels.

“I saw this when I found the panel was fried! I thought someone had drawn it, or the wind.”

“There’s a few good pieces here,” he crouched again, searching though the sand.  “We should probably dig up the rest and I can sell them on the mainland, the tourists go crazy for fulgurite jewelry. You can keep the best one for yourself of course.”

The captain said it in such an offhand, casual way, that Rey instantly felt tears burning her eyes. When he realized she hadn’t moved, he looked up with lowered sunglasses, his blue eyes alight with concern.

“Rey, you alright-,”

He didn’t get a chance to finish his words before she’d dropped to her knees and thrown her arms around him, shaking as she held back a sob. Automatically, he embraced her in turn, rubbing soothing circles on her back as he murmured calming platitudes.

“Hey, you’re ok honey…let it out,” he whispered, and Rey swore she could feel the affection radiating from his voice.

How many times….

How many times had she wished for someone like him?

How many nights had she numbly stood on busy sidewalks and subway platforms, imagining that someone like Captain Lor would see her and just _know_ that she was worth so much more than spare change?

How long had she dreamed that there was someone out there who could understand her, would indulge all of her curiosities, _teach_ her?

How long had she waited for someone to take care of her?

A wretched noise escaped her throat as she grit her teeth against another raging sob, and he held her closer, somehow comforting her and fueling her agony at the same time.

“Come on sweetheart, let’s go inside before it starts-,” he began to say, but was immediately interrupted by the cracking of thunder and a sudden downpour, instantly soaking them both.

Rey drew away from him and found herself half laughing, half crying. He cupped her face and even though rain was streaking down her face, made a move to wipe her tears with his thumbs. Then quickly he turned and started to guide her towards the guest house, but her shaky legs made them both stumble and fall into the damp sand. Frantically he reached up and tried the door, then cursed loudly.

“Ah shit, Ben has the only key!” he explained, his words punctuated by another peal of thunder. It was the most flustered Rey had seen him, and it was a bit comical. “Let’s head to the house-can you walk ok?”

“Yeah I think so,” she replied, getting to her feet unsteadily. A sudden fierce wind kicked up and she stumbled again, this time into the captain as he was rising. With a quick, almost imperceptible motion, he tucked his shoulder into her abdomen and then stood, holding her in a fireman’s carry. If the move hadn’t pushed all of the air from her lungs, Rey might’ve shrieked and laughed as he quickly made his way back to the house, not letting her down until he’d reached the powder room to the right of the grand foyer. When her shaky legs caused her to stagger back to the wall to keep herself upright, they caught each other’s eyes and erupted into laughter.

“You make a terrible umbrella, sweetheart!”

Rey only laughed harder and slid down the wall, unable to retort. Captain Lor stretched out his shoulders and reached out a hand to her.

“Come on kid, I bet you haven't eaten yet, have you?”

It was clear that her outburst hadn't been forgotten by the soft look in his eyes, but he wasn't going to ask her why she'd been crying until she brought it up. Grateful at his tact and his kindness, Rey took his hand and got to her feet.

“You should go change outta those wet clothes,” he said as they approached the stairs. “Need a lift?”

Rey smiled and took ahold of the banister, taking the first step shakily but securely.

“I think I’m getting it back, thank you. Oh, but what about you? You’re soaked, too.”

“I have a few things here in the laundry room. It’s not my first time getting caught in the rain. Part of life here, you know.”

She nodded and continued upstairs to change. By the time she was coming back down, she could already hear the Captain moving around in the kitchen. But Rey stopped short when a familiar scent greeted her.

Pancakes.

For a few blissful hours, she’d enjoyed a reprieve from the memories of that last night with Ben, but they came rushing back her now, and she audibly sighed at the weight of them. Her body moved automatically towards the kitchen, and she tried hard to school her face into cheerfulness, or at the very least, indifference.

“Hey honey, take a seat there, shouldn’t be too much longer,” the captain called over his shoulder as he poured a measure of batter onto the griddle. He turned and pointed with a spatula to the mug sitting in what was now apparently her usual spot. “You drink coffee?”

“Not usually, but it sounds tempting about now. Long night.”

“Is that so? Well, that would explain those bags you’re carrying!”

Rey laughed at his pointed remark on the puffy circles below her eyes, taking no offense. She took a sip of the black coffee and paused to wonder how he’d made it taste so good compared to the watery diesel she’d been brewing.

“I have to blame Darth Vader for that,” she joked back, but winced as the spatula fell from Captain Lor’s hand to the stovetop with a metallic clatter.

“Ah, butter fingers,” he muttered, then nodded towards the actual stick of butter beside him with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. He turned quickly, making Rey question what she’d thought she’d seen. “I take it you’ve been reading then the family legacy then?”

“Obsessively,” she responded with an exaggerated sigh. “All this time, I’ve worked for his family, and never knew how good his books really were! I’ve never been much of a reader, but I wish I’d picked them up years ago. Have you?”

“Have I what?” Captain Lor asked quietly, not looking at her.

 “Have you read his books?”

Rey wondered if it was just her exhaustion confusing what she was seeing, but his frame was rigid, his shoulders raised and tense. She dismissed it as him just concentrating on their breakfast. Still, it took him a rather long time to answer.

“I have. A long, long time ago.”

There was a beat of awkward silence in the kitchen then, but it was broken moments later when the Captain glanced to her and gave her a grin.

“Rain stopped. What would you say to a little adventure out on the reefs after this? You haven’t been off the island since you got here.”

A small part of Rey was eager to just curl back up in bed to finish _The Phantom Menace_ , but the rest of her was eager to put some distance between herself and the house. The Captain had not been exaggerating when he’d talked about it feeling haunted; Ben’s presence seemed to lurk in every corner now.

“I would love that, Captain.”

And as if his earlier reticence had never even happened, he slid a plate over to her with a wink and a beaming grin.

“Then eat up. Today, you’re my First Mate!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music:  
> "Anyone" Keith Kenniff  
> "Anchor" Mindy Gledhill  
> "Rey's Theme"


	7. Under the Sea!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey experiences life on so many levels...literally and figuratively.

A massive spray of water washed over Rey’s face as she held on tightly to the bow of Captain Lor’s speedboat, making her shriek and sputter, dissolving into laughter. She looked back to him, confidently steering the ship and grinning, and he called out to her.

“Faster?”

“Fast as you can go!” she yelled back over the roar of the engine.

Even with the noise, she could hear his laughter, and she turned back, bracing herself as she felt the boat pick up speed. She closed her eyes and let the experience flood into her.

Rey felt the heat of the sun on her skin, the refreshing coolness of the ocean as it misted her again and again. She felt the quick rise and fall of the boat beneath her feet, and with her knees kept slack, she rode each crest smoothly. Beyond the engine noise, she heard the sounds of swirling ocean and seabirds. She tasted the fresh air and salty water as the wind dragged at her body, so strong, it felt as though any moment, it would lift her from her place on the bow and take her skyward.

_So this is flying_ , she thought to herself, and took a deep breath as tears pricked at her eyes.

At the captain’s insistence, Rey had changed into a swimsuit, the only one-piece that Jessika had provided her, and despite the ridiculously exaggerated cutouts to the back and sides, Rey felt less revealed this time. She’d also slipped on a pair of shorts, not that they covered much more than the bottom of the suit, but every little bit helped. But she had not worn a t-shirt; in fact, it hadn’t even been on purpose. She’d just…simply forgotten.

Captain Lor had said nothing, but he’d done a discreet double take that Rey only read as surprise and nothing untoward. She wondered if he really had any idea how comfortable she was in his presence. She also wondered if she should mention it during their inevitable conversation about her tearful meltdown earlier. She had no doubt he would bring it up eventually, and was pretty sure he had brought her out on the boat to do just that.

 They began to slow a little, but Rey did not relinquish her spot until they began to idle and the Captain stepped away from the controls.

“Come here Rey, I’ll show you how to put the anchor down.”

She followed enthusiastically, following his instructions carefully, wondering why exactly they were mooring in the middle of nowhere.

“I should have asked earlier, but you do know how to swim, right?”

Rey nodded, but wasn’t entirely confident in her own answer. She’d only been a child when her foster family had made her take the lessons at the community center with their other wards. Under any other situation, it would be an uncommonly nice gesture by her guardians, if it weren’t for the fact that her foster mother used that time to drink in the parking lot. Those drives home were some of the most terrifying times of her life, always certain that each would be the last. Finally, someone had reported the erratic driving of a van full of children and Rey knew at the sight of the officer that they had been saved. Of course, she was soon to change her opinion on that after-

“Good! I was hoping you’d say that.”

Rey was shaken from her memory from the cheerful sound of the Captain’s voice. She turned to see him rummaging through a compartment in the bench set, watching as he pulled out items that made her tense up as she realized why they were really out there. If she’d been nervous a moment ago, Rey was terrified now. She hadn’t expected _this_ at all.

“Take a seat honey, let’s see if these flippers will fit you,” he gestured as shut the bench and plopped down an armful of snorkeling equipment.

“I…I don’t think I can-,”

“Sit down?”

She laughed nervously, and took a step back.

“No, no, I don’t think I can do _that_!”

“Snorkeling? Ah, trust me, you’ll be like a fish in water in no time! I teach this for a living, you know!”

“You do?” Rey asked, sitting down even though her mind railed against her body. “I thought you worked for SolOrgana?”

Now that she thought about it, he’d mentioned selling the fulgurite jewelry to tourists too.

“I do that, too. I got a lot of jobs. I bartend for ol’ Maz when she’s short staffed too. Keeps me busy when the family isn’t around.”

“How long have you worked for them?” she asked, realizing she’d never really asked the Captain any questions about himself. It was painfully apparent now that she knew next to nothing about him.

He paused slightly at her question, then knelt down and began to fit a flipper onto her foot.

“Long time, really can’t say. Seems like a lifetime ago, though,” he replied as mystically as usual, tugging the strap tight around the back of her heel. “How does that feel?”

“How should it feel?” she asked sheepishly, flexing her foot.

“You got a little wiggle room?”

She nodded, curling her toes and not finding any discomfort. He set to work on her other flipper, and it was only then that Rey realized that she was in fact about to learn to snorkel.

“I’m really not that much of a swimmer, I haven’t been since I was a girl and I wasn’t even very good then,” she said softly, hearing her own voice tremble with trepidation.

“We won’t be diving at all, honey, don’t worry about that. This’ll just be glorified floating,” he replied, giving her a grin that in all honesty, made her feel a little better. “I’ve been doing this my whole life, and teaching for half of it. You have nothing to be afraid of.”

“Just sharks,” she muttered, drawing the loudest laugh she’d heard from him.

“You’re more likely to die from a vending machine falling on you than a shark attacking you!”

Rey highly doubted the statistic; she’d never even heard of a vending machine falling on a person. Captain Lor seemed to notice her hesitance and sat back on his heels, taking off his sunglasses to look her straight in the eye.

“You don’t seem like a girl who’s easily frightened, but you’re shaking honey. Would you rather not do this? I’m not gonna force you to do anything you don’t want to.”

This was her out; she could easily just tell him this was beyond her capabilities, and she was certain he wouldn’t hold it against her. He was a kind man, and he obviously understood she was strong, but not invincible. There was no shame whatsoever in backing out.

And yet…who was she if she didn’t do the things that terrified her? Wasn’t she the same eight-year-old girl who packed her tiny life into a black duffel bag and walked off in the dark unknown the night before the next foster family was to pick her up?  Wasn’t she still the girl who braved the streets that forced her into that first dark and smelly dumpster, that forced her into that unwelcoming crowd around the barrel fire, that forced her to fight back when that first man had laid hands on her?

And what was this compared to all that she’d survived so far? A new experience where she would be guided by a kind man that had never given her reason to doubt him? A man she was staring to see as less as a friend and more like family? So the open ocean was an unknown place full of things that could kill her-had the streets of New York really any different all those years ago?

Even as she thought, Rey could see a smile start to form on the Captain’s face. Perhaps he was watching the progression of her bravery rising, her resolve forming. Whatever it was, he wasn’t at all surprised when she lifted her other fin and flexed her toes.

“This one feels good, too.”

Without a word more on her hesitance, the Captain launched into what sounded like an oft-rehearsed safety lecture as he strapped a buoyancy vest around her torso, then began to explain the basics of how to breathe through the snorkel. After he’d quickly donned his own gear, the Captain led her to the side of the boat, helping her to balance on the edge with him.

“Alright, you ready to go in?”

Rey nodded as the mouthpiece was already in and she couldn’t speak.

“I’m going to be right next to you, and we’re going to practice. The water is very shallow, only six feet. Just grab onto me if you need to.”

She nodded again and after he’d removed his shirt and grabbed her hand, Rey took a deep breath and bit down a scream as they plunged into the water together.

Panic hit her immediately as fish darted away from their entrance, and she gasped, drawing water into the top of the snorkel, exactly what Captain Lor had told her _not_ to do. Her limbs flailed frantically, and with all the churning of the water, she could not tell which way was up. She chocked on seawater pouring in through the tube, and for a moment, Rey was very sure she was going to drown.

Then the solid grip on her wrist that she’d completely ignored dragged her upwards and she broke the surface of the water, immediately ripping the snorkel out of her mouth and sputtering out water.

“It’s ok, you’re ok,” Lor soothed her, his arm braced under one of hers as they floated in the gentle current of the ocean. “I got you, Rey, don’t be afraid.”

She nodded, panic subsiding, and in it’s place, the sense of exhilaration at her survival. Of course, she’d never been in any real danger, not with the Captain right there to save her; between coughs, Rey giggled at her own inflated sense of mortality, and her racing heart began to calm when her mentor joined in.

“That’s about as bad an introduction as you can get! But you’re alive, aren’t ya?”

“More than ever,” she panted out, and the glimmer of excitement in the Captain’s eye was enough to tell her that had been the whole point of this excursion, this challenge.

“You got it? Think you’re ready for more?”

“Yes,” she replied, then, blew the water from her snorkel before settling it in her mouth again.

“Let’s practice just floating for a bit. Then when you feel ready, we’ll head to the reef just past that sandbar.”

She nodded, and as he instructed, she relaxed her body and allowed the ocean to carry her as she gazed at the sandy floor below them. Fish had begun to venture nearby again, and she found it hard to concentrate on her breathing and watch them at the same time. But when it began to feel more natural, she gave the Captain a thumbs-up and he led her towards the sandbar. They crawled over the gentle crest, barely immersed in the water, only to find a deeper valley on the other side. Rey stopped herself from gasping this time, but her eyes were wide under her googles, taking in the unreal beauty of the world that lay before them.

Strange plants of unimaginable textures and shapes adorned the sea floor as far as she could see, like an underwater alien forest bursting with yellows, reds, oranges, and even bright greens. The creatures that wove both lazy and frantic paces throughout it all were even more dazzling than their background, bright and colorful, gleaming and glittering in the gentle rays of light streaming in from overhead. Rey felt the captain nudge her, and when she turned, he gestured for her to venture out with him.

She hesitated, but only from amazement that they were going to actually go closer. Rey had not anticipated that they would be allowed to swim amongst the teeming life beneath the waves, and the water was so shallow here. She was terrified of kicking something with her unwieldy slippers, or scaring the fish off from their little homes, but she let the Captain lead her out anyway.

_This is nothing like the pictures_ , Rey mused as they floated over massive sponges and crabs that were much braver than the fish that scattered away from them or burrowed their flat bodies beneath the sand. The deeper into the reefs they went, the less fearful the wildlife became, until they almost disregarded their presence completely. Fish streamed by her now, almost as curious about her as she was about them. The captain guided her hand down toward a dangerous looking urchin, but she grinned around her mouthpiece as it’s spines merely cradled her finger and gave way with ease. He pointed far in the distance and Rey felt a fluttering in her heart as two sea turtles glided by, too far to go after, but close enough to fill her with awe. When they faded from view, the Captain tugged her onward, towards what looked like a floating rock. Confused, Rey chortled as she saw it was actually a massive fish slowly turning its ridiculous face towards them. They got right up to it and when the Captain reached out to touch it, so did she, shuddering at the strange, spongy texture of the skin. It did not seem too keen on being pet, so they went their separate ways. Rey and her guide swam carefully though the coral forest, more floating like he had said earlier, so she didn’t end up inadvertently slapping a fish like she’d feared.

There was so much to see, and Rey was completely distracted from the fact that the water was becoming deeper and darker below them. But when the Captain stopped abruptly, she was pulled back to reality and followed his gaze. There, only a few yards away, a shark was swimming towards them. A trill of fear ran through her as it approached, and she had to fight her body’s fight or flight response. She would of course never be able to outswim the shark, and she doubted she could even land a decent punch on it underwater, so she sat as still as her mentor instead, following his lead. Then, when the shark altered its course every so slightly to avoid them and continued on, Rey’s curiosity flooded back into her, and she could hardly keep herself from reaching out to touch it as it swam by. Only when the shark had ventured some distance away did the Captain urge her on again, this time back the way they came.

After they’d glided through the reef a second time, this time catching sight of a ray and some spiny lobsters, Rey and the Captain climbed atop the sandbar, still half submerged in the water. The sun made quick work of drying her skin, and she splashed water over her shoulders every so often to keep cool as they chatted over the things they had seen.

“It’s too bad I didn’t have my net, I could have caught us some of those lobsters for dinner. You like lobster?”

“Never had it. The only one of my friends that cooks hates seafood.”

“He’s missing out, and so are you! ‘Course you are in the right place to remedy that.”

“I will make it a point to try before I leave,” she said, then frowned slightly at her own reminder that this was all temporary, and that soon, she would step off the island for the last time.

“We’ll make sure you get the full experience before you leave, honey, leave that to me,” he grinned, patting her shoulder reassuringly.

“I wish I didn’t have to,” she replied softly, not shying away from the subject. “I’ve never been so at peace before. This place is…it’s more than I could have ever dreamed.”

“I forget how lucky I am to be here year-round. I guess after a few decades, you just sort of take it for granted. I almost feel trapped here sometimes.”

“Trapped?” she questioned, turning to him in surprised.

“I’ve been here for so long, I don’t even know who I would be anywhere else. I’m indigenous now, just like the reef, and I don’t think I could survive out of my environment. I’m not like you at all, kid.”

Rey was even more shocked now, and just as confused.

“I don’t…what do you mean like me?”

“Oh Rey,” he said with a tender smile that made her heart ache just a little. “You could survive _anywhere_. Just look at you. One minute you where trembling like a leaf, and the next, you were hard as steel. You learned how to drive the excavator in no time, and you fixed the jenny all by yourself. And you’re _here_. You’re in a place under circumstances that are so foreign to you, and you’re thriving, taking nothing for granted. Every new thing you experience makes you so much stronger, even if it scares you. You have no idea how amazing you are, do you?”

Her eyes fluttered as he spoke, barely holding back a deluge of tears that was steadily building. She had cried more during this vacation than she had in years, and though it had always made her feel weak, this time it felt cathartic. It was a relief. Rey had no idea how much she was holding inside her as she clawed her way through each day, and now she was finally at a point where she could release it and somehow still be praised like the Captain was doing now.

“I don’t think…I’m nobody.”

“You’re somebody to me, Rey.”

And down the tears fell as the Captain wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close. Rey leaned full against him as sobs wracked her body, and she held nothing back. While Finn had been instrumental in making cracks in Rey’s defenses, the kindness of this man had brought them tumbling down, and she felt so free and weightless as she cried. He was still a stranger in so many ways, but they had a bond that went past the superficial points of information that made up a person, and she was sure they’d catch up on all that soon enough.

“Tell me when it all started, honey. Who are you really?”

With his hold still firm around her, Rey took the first steps and let herself remember.

“I thought that they would come back for me.”

 

************

 

It was starting to get dark, and at the Captain’s insistence, Rey sat on the aft bench, watching the spectacular sunset behind them, laughing quietly to herself when she thought about how the vivid colors had frightened her that first night. She was so engrossed in the view, that she didn’t even notice they were approaching the Key West marina until a massive cruise ship loomed in her peripheral vision. She spun around and watched with a strange dread as the mainland approached quickly, and she braved the choppy waters to stumble up to the controls.

“What’s going on? Why are we here?”

“Gas. I wouldn’t have had enough to get back after dropping you off, so we have to make a stop first,” he said matter-of-factly, and she scoffed at her own panic. “But of course, since we’re here, we can always make good on that lobster I was talking about. Maz is bound to have some, and it’s on me. You interested?”

“Ah, I…,” she faltered, gripping the safety bar as they bounced softly into the slip. Captain Lor went to tie up the boat, but glanced back at her, still waiting for a reply. “I don’t know about that.”

“That’s alright. But you have to promise me you’ll eat something better than those noodle cups. Those are for emergencies, you know?”

The echo of Ben Solo’s playful admonishment the first night he had cooked for her stung, and Rey realized why she was nervous being on the mainland.

_He_ was here. He was at Maz’s. And the odds of them being there at the same time…well, it seemed inevitable really. Would he be angry that out of all of the bars she could have come to, it was the one he was currently staying at…the one she’d driven him to? No, there was no way she could go there, no matter how disappointed the Captain looked.

“I will, promise.”

She came and stood beside him while he silently demonstrated the knot to tie up the boat. Somehow, the Captain always anticipated her curiosity and turned completely mundane tasks into learning opportunities for her without her even having to ask.

“You can try that when I drop you off. Come onshore at least, You can see Mallory Square just down the way. All the performers are out.”

“Performers?” she asked, noticing a large crowd of people strolling leisurely towards the alley he’d gestured to.

“Oh yeah, it’s a circus out there around sunset. Great view from there too, we can just catch the end of it if we hurry.”

She could hear the question in that, and from the sounds of cheering and clapping, Rey could not deny she was curious about it all. Already, she’d taken a few unconscious steps towards the stairway, the Captain right at her side.

“It’s just another experience,” he said softly, not trying to push her.

“It looks fun, but…well, I’m hardly dressed,” she replied shyly. She was only wearing her swimsuit and a damp towel around her waist, her shorts still hopelessly soaked because she’d forgotten to lay them out in the sun. “Maybe another time.”

“Ah, I see,” he hummed, and Rey believed him.

She’d told him so many things today, and had touched on her hesitance to show any more skin than necessary. He’d even apologized for goading her prior, but she’d brushed that aside and let him know that she was…starting to get the hang of it.

But this, wearing only her ridiculously revealing suit in a crowd full of people in a strange place? That was nightmare material.

“Can I offer a solution?” he interjected quietly, as if knowing she was mentally wrestling with her curiosity and her limitations.

Rey turned to him, wondering what he could mean, and he nodded for her to follow him towards the little building where she had first met him. Once inside, he led her back behind the desk into a little office cluttered with various snorkeling and fishing gear. As he opened the closet door at the back, he explained.

“A lot of stuff gets left behind during excursions, and I can’t always catch them fast enough to return it. So I’ve got a pretty good selection for you.”

And with that, he plopped a large box of clothing on the desk, grinning encouragingly. Rey was surprised at her own eagerness to dig through it, and she spent a few minutes comparing various sarongs and coverups, surprised at how many seemed completely new. Finally, she settled on a brightly pattered sarong that nearly wrapped around her twice and covered her to the ankles. But as she was about to pull on a long black coverup over that, she paused, catching her reflection in the glass door to her left.

While the suit still didn’t cover as much of her torso as she would prefer, she looked…nice like this. She looked like she belonged in that crowd she’d seen just a while ago, meandering their way towards the Square without a care in the world. For once, Rey would not actually stick out if she went this way.

“I’m ready,” she said as she set the heavier coverup down into the box.

“Yes you are, you look great. Come on, we can still catch the fire juggler.”

“ _Fire_ juggler?”

“Yeah, Mack-he’s on this giant unicycle too, you’re gonna love it!”

Rey’s eyes went wide as he grabbed her hand and practically dragged her back out of the office, pausing only to lock up. Then they joined the throngs of people filling a large, bricked square, pausing to watch some of the acrobatic acts and tuneful buskers. There was so much to see here, and Rey felt like it was a bit like the coral reefs all over again. Captain Lor would point out the performers by name, then they’d chuckle over a few of the more obvious tourists that flocked around them. By the time they did make it to Mack, he was just finishing his closing trick, and Rey clapped so hard, her hands stung. Then, as the sun approached the horizon, a hush fell over the crowds that had gone eerily still. Rey stood on tiptoe to watch, but could hardly see over the shoulders of the people before her until the Captain noticed, and hoisted her up onto the lip of a planter, letting her lean against him to keep her balance.

It didn’t look the way it had on the island; not with the reflection on the calm sea that made it look as if there were two suns, rising and falling to meet one another. There was something far more magical about this sunset, and instead of being the outlier, Rey was a part of the spellbound mass that watched, and she could not remember a time when she had felt more like a part of something greater. And then, when the sun had finally disappeared, she blinked back a few tears as the crowd burst into applause, as if they’d just seen a grand cosmic magic trick rather than a literal everyday occurrence. As she hopped back down, Rey saw a few other bystanders had been just as affected as her, including the Captain.

“You know, that was the best one I think I’ve ever seen,” he said, clearing his throat sheepishly.

“Really? Even though you see it every day?”

“Sunsets are best when you watch with someone. And it’s been a while,” he grinned, and Rey squeezed his hand tightly.

Suddenly, she was resolved, strengthened by the kind of words of a now dear friend and the energy of the now boisterous crowd. Ben Solo was just going to have to deal it.

“I think I would like to try that lobster after all.”

With an even wider grin, he led her on a winding crawl through the tourist Mecca of Old Town. Rey felt like she couldn’t possibly see everything in one night, and while admiring a few trinkets in the shops, she decided she would be coming back after all. For now, her stomach was reminding her she’d had a strenuous day and she needed sustenance. When they reached Maz’s bar, Rey was beyond surprised…

From all she’d heard and having met the woman herself, the last thing Rey would have expected Maz’s Place to be was modest; but the building that stood before her was so over the top, she had to read the sign again just be sure they were in the right spot. She looked over the spectacle, wondering how long it had taken her to even add so many eccentricities. There were two bathtubs sitting surfboards over a painted concrete wave, currently occupied by two relaxed looking people that sipped at giant tropical drinks through absurdly complicated bendy straws. There were faux marble statues lining the perimeter with actual swimsuits sewn onto them, along with a troupe of large plastic sea animals playing musical instruments that made Rey jump when she approached as they began to mechanically sway back and forth.

To get inside, they had to cross an actual rope bridge over a false moat filled with Koi fish and graying, plastic lily pads. The interior of the bar was no less dramatic, filled with odd and colorful animal statues, fake jungle foliage, and just about every manner of chair possible, including two extremely tall high chairs that two women were slowly ascending, giggling all the way. The waiters were dressed in various costumes: there were referees, French maids, superheroes, and a police officer with a whistle and bottle of tequila in her holster that she would upend into the random mouth of whoever was willing. On top of it all, a live band played, all of them dressed in sea creature costumes to match the little mock band that had startled her earlier.

“Whaddaya think?” the Captain asked, starting her out of her daze.

“It’s crazy!” she said with a laugh. “I can’t believe this is her place!”

“Ah, well this is just the tourist half of it. We’re headed to the locals only section right through those doors,” he explained, gesturing to a pair of non-descript doors that was perhaps the most normal thing she’d seen so far. “It’s a badge of honor to get in there.”

“Can…are you sure I can go in there?”

“Of course! You’re my guest! Maz won't mind at all.”

_It's not her I'm worried about_ , she thought, letting him lead her through the frenetic crowd. When they came to the door, Captain Lor reached up and knocked three times on a hollow sounding spot on the ceiling, then another two times on pipe that ran parallel to the left side of the door. She was about to question him when one of the doors clicked open and a man silently nodded at them both in welcome, then turned on his stool back to a half-drunk beer and open book.

“That’s the password. From a song, too old for a kid like you,” the Captain winked, then guided her to the bar.

It was the complete antithesis to the flamboyant anarchy they’d just passed through. The barroom was spacious and comfortably furnished, very traditional with its carved mahogany bar top, but with a subtle island flair, like the ceiling fans with the palm leave shaped blades, or the wicker seats and rocking chairs. This place was much more like she’d expected, and honestly, more what she’d been hoping for. Maz was at the far end of the bar, and she looked up from the glass she was drying as they approached.

“Captain Lor, Miss Rey! Welcome, take a seat,” she said warmly, putting Rey at ease. “Can I get you anything?”

“Looking for a little dinner, actually. We have ourselves a seafood virgin right here!”

One or two chairs scrapped on the floor and the quiet conversations lulled as she glanced around her to find raised eyebrows and chucking faces. While they all seemed good natured, Rey was still embarrassed at the attention, and tightened the knot on her sarong.

“Is that so, now? Well, we’ll change that right away. What should we try first?”

“Spiny lobster if you have any,” the Captain said for her, enthusiastically rubbing his hands together.

“I netted a few this afternoon, of course.”

“And a Hemingway Special. You want one too, Rey?”

“Um, sure. I don’t know what that is but-,”

“A daiquiri. Trust me, it’ll be your favorite drink now,” he winked, and Rey couldn’t help but accept it.

Nearly an hour, two daiquiris and four spiny lobsters later, Rey was red faced and giggling as Maz told yet another wild story, this time about fighting off a blacktip shark with a broken spear gun and a rapidly depleting air tank during a dive. Though several locals had entered the room, she had hardly noticed their entrance, the special knock now just background noise. She wasn’t sure exactly what it was that made her look over her shoulder at this particular entrant, but when she did, she froze mid-laugh and turned away quickly, leaning forward to hide herself behind the man beside her at the bar. But a moment later, he sauntered away, leaving her revealed to the surprised gaze of Ben Solo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music:  
> "Dreams" The Cranberries  
> "Postcards from Far Away" Coldplay  
> "Years (A Look Back) Ken Kenniff
> 
> And of course shout out to Tony Orlando and Dawn for the earworm that is "Knock Three Times".
> 
> PS. Make it a point in your life to watch the sunset at Mallory Square. It's worthy of every bucket list. Key West in general is.


	8. Save the Last Dance for Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey shakes a tailfeather and Captain Lor gives some good advice.
> 
> Two strikes for Ben Solo, but the game ain't over yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally some Reylo in this self-proclaimed Reylo fic!

“Ben Solo!” Maz suddenly yelled, her voice cutting through all conversation and making half the room turn towards the door where an annoyed Ben stood glaring at her.

His eyes darted back to her, and she looked away again right into the grinning face of Maz.

“Nothing to be jumpy about, my girl. He’s been in better spirits lately.”

Rey nodded and took another sip of her drink, trying to calm herself. There was nothing to really be afraid of, actually. He’d made a move, she’d turned him down, and that was that. It wasn’t like he was an ex, or even some fling. Literally nothing had happened between them. And hadn’t she quietly hoped she might see him again, if only to smooth things over? Well, this was the perfect neutral setting for them to meet.

“I wish you wouldn’t do that every time I come in,” she suddenly heard him from beside her, and she looked to find his glare fixed on Maz. “I didn’t want word to spread that I’m here. Unless you want paparazzi sneaking in through the kitchen again.”

“Pshh,” she spat, waving dismissively. “Let those beasts come, there’s nothing to see but a man behind the bar helping his dear caretaker tend.”

“Still, I want to _finally_ get some work done-,” he started, then turned red when Rey winced at the insinuation that she’d been the reason he hadn’t. “I…I mean…,”

“Mean what?” Rey challenged, raising a brow but not trying to hide her smile at his red ears peeking out from his dark mass of hair.

Thankfully, Ben picked up her teasing tone and chuckled too, and she was satisfied that this time, she’d been the one to diffuse the tension with a little good humor.

“Ben, I did actually need you to tend,” Maz suddenly said, and for the first time, the woman looked a little sheepish, as she if she’d hated to interrupt.

“You got it,” he said, and with a nod to her, he rounded the bar and approached the locals standing at the other end while tying on an apron.

Rey watched him for a while, not realizing how quiet her companion had gone until he was pushing his empty glass towards the bar. She turned and found Captain Lor looking a little pensive and uncomfortable-then she remembered that the two men weren’t on speaking terms and her stomach dropped at how awkward the situation must be for him.

“We can leave if you want,” she offered quietly, feeling odd to be the encouraging one this time.

“Ah, don’t worry about that. He’ll just pretend I’m not here, and that’s fine with me. I just haven’t actually _seen_ him in a while.”

“Is…why doesn’t he like you?”

“NDA territory my dear,” was all he said before he caught sight of a friend and waved them over. “Admiral Ackbar! Come over here and meet my friend here, she’s new in town!”

And as she waded through the introduction to a rather sunburnt older man, Rey let go of her curiosity and just tried to enjoy herself. She was so engrossed, she hardly noticed when Ben pushed another daquiri towards her.

“On me,” he said with a warm smile, which she reciprocated.

Soon, the bar was alive with more locals, and with the sound of music from a few musicians gathered in a corner. The atmosphere was so mellow and she met so many people through the Captain that she felt almost at home there. Once in a while, Ben would slip her another drink- alternated with ice water-always on him, and she never declined. Rey hoped that meant that whatever anger he’d held towards her had subsided; but as she observed from the outskirts of conversations, her mind and eyes wandered back to him almost magnetically. He looked confident, at ease with the enthusiastic patrons, and she wondered if maybe, here in the bar of his caretaker, he felt more at home that he did on the island.

Eventually, the music picked up a little and as she and Captain Lor watched a few brave couples dancing to the side of the band.

“You dance, honey?”

“Never,” she laughed, shaking her head profusely, already onto what he was hinting at. “And I’d be a terrible partner.”

“How about you let me be the judge of that?”

He gave her such an excited, pleading look, his hand outstretched to her; there was no way she could deny him something so simple. Not after all he’d done for her.

“ _One_ dance,” she muttered with a grand roll of her eyes as she hopped off the stool.

“No such thing as one dance!” was all he said as he pulled her into a very loose but firm hold, just on the outskirts of the more practiced couples. “Just relax and follow my lead, ok?”

Rey nodded, and though she’d heard the phrase used before, she found herself unsure of what exactly that meant in an actual dance scenario. But in another moment, she felt the slight pull of the Captain’s hand on her side and her feet automatically moved to keep up, stumbling slightly. He laughed, but so did she, and even though she was sure a dozen strangers also saw her, Rey focused on the kind face in front of her.

“You’re just like the boat sweetheart. This is the engine, to move you,” he said, slightly patting her side where she’d felt the actual pull. Then he squeezed the hand he held at his shoulder. “And this is the rudder, to guide you. And true to my name, I am your captain!”

She giggled and straightened herself out, determined to get it right this time. After a few awkward steps, Rey started to understand the nature of the movements he led her in and how it matched with the music, a song she’d never imagined she’d hear in a secret bar in Key West.

Before she’d met Mr. Plutt, her only access to music had been a mostly broken radio that only got AM, giving her the options of a staticky country music channel, and the slightly clearer oldies station. While she didn’t use it often, on the nights after she was sure the junkyard owner was long gone, she would brave just a little more volume, and hum along to familiar tunes while she pored over whatever had captured her fascination most recently. Even after she had moved into her apartment and fixed the radio, she kept to what she knew, the songs like old friends keeping her company. She couldn’t say she had a great passion for music like some, but now she found herself being seduced by the gentle melodies and some of the tension began to leave her frame, earning a grin from the Captain, who just always _knew_. 

As he led into a slow turn under his arm, Rey realized she was answering her own question little by little during this two-week break from reality: she was finally finding out who she was without the struggle of daily survival always weighing on her. She was a reader, and-if she wasn’t being too cocky-she was becoming quite a competent dancer. She could still swim, and she liked seafood, and just as the Captain had promised, she now had a favorite drink. They were small things of course, but Rey could feel even bigger revelations brewing beneath her surface. It was sort of amazing and disconcerting at the same time. She’d always believed that she knew herself so well, her likes and dislikes, what she was willing to do to survive and how long she was willing to wait for what she wanted. But that was her practical side, the part of her brain that only focused on the logic of a situation. Now Rey was wading into uncharted territory in her own mind, into the side of her that just...just wanted to have fun.

“You up to a little challenge?”

“I think I am,” she nodded, curious as to what he meant.

“The Admiral is giving me a look that says he wants to cut in. Are you comfortable with that?”

Rey was immediately flooded with the fear of being touched by an unknown man, even though the Admiral had been so tame and grandfatherly the whole evening. She worried her bottom lip and glanced down to where the Captain’s hand rested on her bare waist, fighting the urge to flinch at the thought of a strange hand in it’s place. The brave little voice in the back of her head urged her to just do it-it would make everyone happy, and the Captain would be proud of her, and she would have conquered yet another fear. But then her breath came faster and her grip on his shoulder tightened.

_No_.

No she could not do it, not tonight. She’d already tested her mettle enough in one day. She had to admit to her limitations at some point, and this was it.

“I can’t, I’m sorry-,”

“Don’t you apologize, you don’t owe him anything for being nice. You can _always_ say no,” Captain Lor said quickly and firmly. “You only accept what _you_ want, and not an inch or a word more. Got it, kid?”

“Got it,” she nodded, and straightened her shoulders from the near-cower she’d melted into.

He smiled gave her a little twirl again, helping her to shake off the tension and they danced on for a few more songs until the band took a break. The Admiral was on the other side of the room with another group by the time they came back to the bar, and almost immediately, Maz called Lor away to help her with a leaking pipe in the kitchen.

“I’ll be back soon, ok?” he reassured her, looking torn about leaving her alone.

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

And even as she said the words, she didn’t quite believe them, and she was fairly sure the Captain didn’t either, because he paused and leaned in close to her.

“You need to throw a punch, you throw it. I know all these people in here, and more than a few of them deserve it.”

He winked, drawing a laugh from her, and she shooed him off when Maz called his name loudly from the kitchen. For a few minutes, Rey watched the door awkwardly, not sure what to focus her attention on. Looking around the room felt like she might invite unwanted company, and the band hadn’t started playing yet, so there was nothing to entertain her. So she stared blankly at the silent TV above the bar showing a football game, listening to the buzz of voices around her.

It was odd, feeling so lonely in such a crowded place, but not wanting anyone near her at the same time. Odd, but familiar, and she recalled snowy nights in shelters where she would stay up all night, knowing it was safer that way. There would be small groups sometimes, old friends chatting away into the night or guarding one another as they took turns sleeping. There were times when Rey had longed to join them, if not for the safety, at least for the sake of not sitting up alone. She never had, of course; she was always too afraid of forming attachments, too wary of being taken advantage of because she was younger and more able.

_I didn’t belong with them,_ she though sadly, rubbing absently at the condensation on her glass of water. _I don’t belong here either._

“This seat taken?” a voice suddenly said from her side, and Rey turned to find a man about her age, but with that telling glint in her eye that told her he was interested in more than just a place to sit down.

“Sure is,” came another, more familiar voice across the bar, and they both turned to see Ben Solo wiping his hands on a rag, his face neutral and indecipherable as he looked on.

“Ah hey Ben. Aren’t you tending right now-,” the man began to challenge slightly, but good naturedly.

“I’m on break,” Ben said quickly, dropping his apron and walking around the bar to take the much-desired seat beside her. “And my friend here was about to tell me all about her day.”

Even though it was still rather awkward to have him in particular swoop in to save her, Rey was grateful and nodded.

“Yes, I was,”

“Oh… _kay_ ,” the man dragged out, then disappeared back to a group across the room.

They turned back to one another quietly, and for a beat, just held each other’s gaze, as if they both had no idea what to say now.

“You know, you attract some real weirdos, Rey.”

And as she’d hoped, the Ben Solo she liked was sitting beside her, and she laughed.

“I was thinking the same thing,” she said with mock annoyance.

It was his turn to chuckle, and before she could go on, he leaned over the bar, his shirt hitching up to show her just the barest glimpse of that gloriously chiseled stomach, then returned to find her trying to school herself into something resembling calm. He held two small glasses of some dark amber liquid in his hands, and he offered one to her.

“Cuban Rum, Maz’s personal stash. Very smooth.”

“I don’t know,” she said as she worried her lip. “I had so many drinks already.”

“You feel drunk?”

Rey was about to tell him that after several daquiris, that of course she was; but she stopped short and realized she was awfully clear headed and not at all dizzy.

“I stopped giving you alcohol after the first one, and even that was halved. Can’t have you passing out half naked around here, you know.”

While he looked playful and she knew he had likely had the best intentions for doing so, she couldn’t help but be upset.

“You know, that really wasn’t your decision to make,” she muttered, looking down at the glass.

When she looked back up, Ben was no longer jovial, and looked confused instead.

“I…,” he stammered, then set the glasses down to rake a hand through his hair, only to remember halfway that it was tied up and not at all in his face. “I didn’t think of it like that.”

He huffed and she could see the frustration rising in him, just like it had the last night they were together. Rey felt the urge to tell him it was ok, anything to placate him and bring him back from that brink. After all, he’d only been looking out for her, hadn’t he?

And yet, she couldn’t help but think back to those words of wisdom from Captain Lor: she didn’t owe him anything for being nice. Just because he had good intentions didn't mean he wasn't wrong to control her. If he felt bad for dictating her actions, then he deserved it.

“You’re right, I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry, I just-,” Ben said and started to rise from the stool.

When Rey realized he meant to leave her alone, she picked up the shot glass and clinked it against his, making him stop halfway.

_Better the devil I know…_

“Don’t be sorry. Make it up to me instead.”

And then she gulped the liquor down, grimacing as it burned a raging path down her esophagus, nearly making her sputter, and completely ruining her quip.

“That's not- you're supposed to _sip_ that! Kriff, was that your first shot?”

“Could you tell?” she asked, sighing as she sipped some water.

“Just a little,” he teased, then sipped his own drink. “Want another to drink like a normal person?”

“Yes please,” she said quickly.

After the burn had dissipated, the aftertaste was almost as delicious and sweet as the faux-daquiris she’d been drinking all night. She forced herself not to look as he leaned over the bar once again to fetch the half full bottle of rum.

“Ok, but then you really do have to tell me about your day.”

“How do you know anything special happened? I could have just been holed up reading in the house all day.”

“Because you’re about three shades darker than you were last time I saw you, your hair is down for the first time, and you have just the right amount of clothes on for once.”

Rey could not help but laugh at that-but immediately afterwards, a blush creept over her face as she saw Ben Solo cast a brief, but appreciative glance over her.

“You look different.”

“I feel different,” she answered honestly, and sipped her drink bashfully as she realized what she’d blurted out.

“Is that so?”

Suddenly, there was that strange glimmer in his eyes, and Rey felt her stomach erupt with butterflies as he kept his gaze firmly on her.

“I…I’ve done a lot of new things today,” she murmured, looking down to her glass again, trying to escape the heat of that look. “With the…um, with Captain Lor.”

This time when she looked up, the intensity had drained out of his eyes, replaced by that dark neutrality that edged on disapproval. But after a moment of heavy silence, he shook his head and gave her a little encouraging grin.

“What did you do?”

And then, with great care to be as casual as possible, Rey began to tell him about her day with Captain Lor, skipping over the bit where she’d cut open her heart and poured it out for the man on a sandbar in the middle of the ocean. That was something no version of Ben Solo deserved to know, nor anyone else; it would always just be between them. The man in question emerged from the kitchen when she was done gushing over the experience of the sunset at Mallory Square, and she and Ben both turned at the sound of her name.

“Rey, I-,” he began cheerfully, then stopped and looked between them. From the corner of her eye, she thought she saw Ben starting to rise, but the Captain nodded to him, gave her a wink, then picked up the discarded apron and went to help the harried bartender at the other end.

“Is… is there a reason you don't like Captain Lor?”

“We just don't see eye to eye on certain things,” he said cryptically, sipping his rum and avoiding her eyes.

“Does it- no, nevermind,” she stopped short, realizing it was not something she should ask after all.

But Ben didn't let it drop, and leaned towards her slightly, his eyes going dark, and a not so charming grin spread across the plush lips she'd been trying to ignore.

“What?” he asked, calmly but firmly. “Go on. What's your theory?”

“I don't have a-,”

“Or did he already tell you?” he asked, his expression fading into something more worried, belied by his almost excited whisper. “Did he tell you what happened?”

“No. He’s hardly told me anything, not about you or-or himself,” she stammered, deeply regretting brining any of it up.

“Then why are you asking?”

“I'm just…I was curious because he's been so good to me since I got here and I can't imagine why you wouldn't get along.”

“We have different points of view of what defines ‘good',” he laughed softly, tapping his fingers on the bar in a nervous tic. “Tell me what you thought earlier. I want to know what's going on in there for once.”

As he spoke, his hand had started to reach out to brush against her face, or maybe her hair; she wasn't sure because he stopped himself halfway and dropped his hand to his knee.

Rey knew this was dangerous territory, and that whatever she might say next could either set him off or make him laugh. It was a responsibility she had not asked for, and she wondered if Ben had any idea how exhausting it was trying to navigate his moods. She decided to just be honest. He was the one pushing the subject after all, and if he didn't like it, he could walk away.

“Well, it's just that when he talks about your mother, he seems...very _affectionate_.”

“You're very observant,” he said quickly, his face still neutral. “Why do you think that would bother me?”

“Because of… well, I mean, obviously your father-,”

Suddenly, Ben started to laugh, and not in a bitter, scoffing way.

“You mean like _that_?” He asked, and she was almost delighted to see her preferred version of him glittering in those dark eyes. “Kriff, no, _never_! That's the last thing me or my father would ever worry about!”

Rey flushed, feeling silly now that she'd obviously misinterpreted the Captain's warm sentiments about Leia Organa.

“Oh, I haven't heard that rumor in a long time,” he chuckled, clinking his glass against hers, urging her to pick up her neglected drink.

“So I'm not the only one to think so?”

“Ah, it's been posed a few times. I mean, I can see why they'd think so. It would be an awful lot like history repeating itself.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know, with what happened on the island. The murders, my _grandfather_. Him killing my grandmother and his best friend over some imagined love triangle. All of that madness. You know all about that.”

Something about the way Ben smirked at that last comment made Rey uneasy, as if she'd been accused yet again of some unknown transgression.

“You know I'm talking about the article you printed out in the guest house.”

She tensed and couldn't hide the look of horror that she felt flash across her face.

“I…I didn't-,”

“Didn't think I knew about that?  You know Rey, if you _were_ really a spy, you'd be the worst.”

She looked away, utterly embarrassed and upset that she'd been caught when she had been so careful.

“How did you know?”

“The chair was wet when I came back,” he shrugged, suddenly looking amused. “I checked the print history after that.”

“I'm sorry,” she whispered, realizing how she had betrayed his trust.

“There's no reason to be sorry. It just proved that you really didn't know anything before you came here. And I can't blame you for being curious. None of it is a secret, anyway. That story doesn't even belong to us anymore.”

She could hear some bitterness in his tone, and when she risked a glance at him, he gave her a sad smile.

“You were right, though.”

“About what?”

“The Captain and my mother. They're very close. They grew up together. Almost like brother and sister.”

“I see…oh, now I really feel awful for assuming something like that,” she groaned, and earned a genuine laugh from him.

They sat in a comfortable silence for a moment, holding each other's gaze, until she saw his hand twitch towards her again, and he looked…subdued in some way. The din of the room around them grew louder as the band returned to their corner and began to play again. Neither of them turned to watch.

“I'm probably going to ask you to dance at some point,” he said suddenly turning his attention to his glass on the bar. His index finger traced the lip off the glass absently. “And you _will_ say no, and with good reason. But I'm still going to ask you.”

Rey felt a warm, fluttering feeling in her chest at his words, and her lips quirked upwards as she fidgeted and squirmed in her seat. She could feel his gaze on her now, almost as intense as it had been at the kitchen door, the very last time she had seen him, silently asking her something. But the question was different now. Ben wasn't asking her to let him in, at least not yet. He was just asking her whether that door was still locked.

Rey didn’t really know. She was both curious and afraid to find out. And the longer he looked at her like that, the more curiosity seemed to outweigh her fear.

“Well if I do say no, I have it on good authority that the Admiral is looking for a partner.”

He shook his head, laughing and they finished their drinks. When he nodded towards the bottle, she shook her head.

Then Ben Solo reached his hand out to her, his eyes shimmering with anticipation, and a half smile on his full lips.

“Rey, would you like to-,”

“Hey honey, we gotta run the boat over to the fuel dock before it…closes… _oh_.”

The Captain looked equal parts shocked and bashful as he stared down at their hands only inches apart, realizing what he had just interrupted.

“Or I can just go myself and come back for you,” he amended, seeming flustered under Ben's glancing scowl.

“No, we can go now,” Rey said, breaking the sudden tension. “I'm very tired anyway. It was a long day.”

When the Captain excused himself to say goodnight to Maz, she gave Ben a pointed look even though he seemed desperate not to meet her eyes.

“I really am tired. But this was nice. And…maybe next time…”

“Yeah,” he said with a smile that didn't reflect in his eyes. “Next time.”

And with an awkwardly mumbled goodnight, Rey walked over to meet Captain Lor and together, they waded through the fray of the tourist side of Maz's Place. They didn't speak more than a few words to each other until they were docking at Chewie Key.

“I'm sorry about my timing, sweetheart, I really didn't mean to drag you away like that. “

Rey smiled and accepted his hand as he helped her up onto the dock.

“You didn't. I think you had rather good timing actually,” she said, then shook her head as he gave her a puzzled look. “If I had another drop of that rum, I don't think I could've stomached the ride home. A little dizzy as it is.”

He nodded, his eyes telling her he understood she meant a lot more than rum had her head spinning.

“There's some ginger tea in the pantry. That should set you straight.”

“Thank you. Thank you for… well today in general!” she said, her voice trembling with emotion. “You gave me such an amazing day, I doubt I could ever repay you.”

“Ah, think nothing of it honey. You were good company for an old man. I'd say we’re even.”

Rey stepped into his embrace without hesitation when he opened his arms to her, and she almost melted at the feel of a gentle kiss to the crown of her head.

“Go get some rest. And didn't stay up reading all night!” He said, then laughed and patted her shoulder as he released her. “Or do, it's your vacation, I'm not your dad!”

Though he'd meant it as a joke, she felt a stab of sadness at those words, and fumbled to change the subject.

“I'll see you soon?”

“Day after tomorrow, how's that sound?”

“Sounds perfect,” she whispered.

She walked away then, blinking back happy tears, but when she heard the Captain whistling the tune of the first song they had danced to, she couldn't stop them from falling. When she was almost to the house, she turned back and waved goodbye, watching his boat disappear into the night.

“You would have been a good one,” she said quietly to herself, feeling wistful now that she was alone.

Then she turned and walked into Maison de SolOrgana with ginger tea in her mind, a novel to finish, and a hundred emotions to unpack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music:  
> "The King of Wishful Thinking" Go West  
> "Save the Last Dance for Me" The Drifters  
> "Let's Do the Things We Normally Do" Dido


	9. UPDATE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ugh.

Sorry to get anyone's hopes up, but this is not a chapter update, just a "me" update. First of all, I very much appreciate your kudos and lovely (and funny) comments. You really do know how to make a girl feel special. 

So the bad news: I do not know for how long, but I will need to put this on another hiatus.

The reason is health, or lack thereof. Some of you know I have Thoracic Outlet Syndrome, which sucked enough, but I now have a bulging disc in my C5-C6 vertebrae, and possibly another in my lumbar spine. It makes driving and walking difficult and sometimes I lose some feeling on the right side of my body. Luckily, I do still have control, just not a lot of sensation. Ever tried to type with your hands asleep? No bueno my friends. 

Now, I can handle this. The two years I withdrew into my Fortress of Solitude, I spent mourning the loss of my body's abilities, making life adjustments, and reconciling the fact that I'll soon need surgery, perhaps multiple ones, and that like Dr. Strange, pain will be an old friend. I'm at peace with it (Goodbye rollercoasters). I'm going to be ok, just not comfortable. And I am inordinately lucky because I have had the best man in the entire world taking care of me. Well, in my opinion.

He does eat red onions with ketchup, so there might be a slightly better man out there...

Regardless, he has supported me in every way, and I truly believe he is my soulmate. We have been talking about getting married. He knows what he's getting into with me. He's seen my crazy, and he's seen my pain. He's charging into the fray that is my messy life with a smile, and like I always tell him, I could not have written him better myself. 

And then LIFE™️, as it is wont to do, hits us with a surprise Shoryuken and he learns that he needs open heart surgery to fix a ruptured valve. No symptoms whatsoever; just a heart murmur he's had his entire life without complications. Healthy as can be, works out, etc... They do an echo and see this valve behaving very badly and now they have to go in and teach it a lesson. Or throw it out entirely. We don't know yet. I only found out 2 weeks ago. I have had very little else on my mind as you can imagine. 

He's not in immediate danger, but this is happening, and soon. Like maybe this week. And when it's done, there will be about three months of recovery, and that's assuming everything goes smoothly. My entire future is up in the air right now, and I am using every bit of mental willpower to keep myself and everyone else together. 

I hope against hope that none of you have or ever will experience what it is like to see your foundation crack. To see your mountain crumble. To struggle with the reality that the source of your strength is about to be reduced to near infancy-like debilitation. To wonder if there will be anything good of you left should your worst fears come true. I wish for you all that this remains the plot device in my life and never in yours. 

I am not usually a person to share much about my personal life, but considering that a lot of you hung on for like two years for an update with no explanation, this was the very least I could do. I'm not abandoning this story. I'm not abandoning my Reylo fam, or even my Dumblr life. I just can't write this love story when my own heart is poised to break. 

Thank you very much for understanding and taking a moment to read this new chapter in my life. I hope to be back soon. And no comments are necessary (I'm so bad with responding due to social awkwardness, y'all know how that goes, oh god please don't anticipate an answer right away if ever) I just ask that if you pray, you pray for us. If you don't, send good vibes out into the universe for us. And if you don't communicate with the universe, just think to yourself "they'll be ok", and that's enough. I'll take positivity in any form. 

And keep creating! I'm gonna be doing a lot of sitting around, so it would be great to have some new fics to read or artworks to drool over. Send me Reylo stuff on Tumblr @Sabichan  
No comments needed, just tag me :)

Until next time, be excellent to each other.


End file.
